What Happens When Therapy Doesn't Help?

I completely switched professions. I became a nurse, a good nurse. I worked in several specialties. I worked all of the time. All of the time. Around the clock. Because I couldn't sleep. The job that finally did me in was as a sexual assault nurse examiner. The work needed to be done. You don't know what time the phone is going to ring or how old the patient is nor do you know how grave the Injuries are. I've been on every psych med and combo and still I cannot sleep. I am a grown child of a PTSD warrior from WWII. It was hell growing up and the moment I could sign up and leave, I left. I have been diagnosed with my own PTSD. My one wish is that I could sleep. I am telling you I have unsuccessfully attempted suicide more than once. Two cousins were successful, so perhaps there is some genetic component. I was sent to the PTSD unit in Topeka. One nurse. No groups, no activities, no one to check down the halls. Nothing but personel containment. I work one on one with a therapist mostly because I worked professionally with over 90% of the VA Behavioral Health staff in civilian settings. The only "psych meds I take and have taken for over a year are 2 mg of alprazolam and 20mg of zolpidem. This slows my mind enough to rest. Recently they added Prazosin Hcl. It is supposed to be the new miracle drug that gets that on/off switch to go off at night and allow sleep. I have atypical response to most meds so it didn't work. The plus is I can read about a book a night. I volunteer at several wonderful places. I dance. I used to horseback ride daily. Cancer and its buddies put a stop to that for the time being, I know, I don't look like I have PTSD. I don't "look sick" at all. I look just fine.

Going through the same thing here mate, both me and my wife (she's not a vet). For me, writing helps. I can blog out there and without really caring who reads it I can explain how I feel. I can share the link if you want to read, but that's not my purpose for writing here.

Most important, the whole reason I write this, you are not a burden. Not to your family, to your friends, or to your coworkers. I spent years after my deployments wondering how to find worth in myself. At some point what a friend said to me finally sunk in. You have worth because you are a soul. That in of itself has value. There is nothing you can do that can increase or reduce that base value. You have worth because you are. At some point, maybe not now, that will make sense. For me, until that point I was terribly confused by the whole statement. Then somewhere last year it finally clicked.

I like the book Why is Dad Mad?, but also Brian Castner's book, The Long Walk, is definitely worth a read. I gave it to my family to read and that helped them understand where I was at. Progress is slow, but it does happen.

Darn PTSD!!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pm9KBabovmc

If your "friend" hasn't heard Epiphany by Staind, you should make him listen to it. This song speaks SO MUCH to me.

It's not out of the ordinary for your friend to feel all alone. I've got a huge family and I still to this day feel like the odd one out. I have had a lot of failed relationships. Yeah, there were some assholes, but I am also not ready on the inside to make that commitment. I just need to take care of myself and my little family.

Feeling like I am alone and the odd one out is something that I am going to have to get over myself. I don't like asking for help. Hell, I DON'T NEED IT! At least that's what I keep telling myself. My house is in shambles, mainly because I have a 8 year old that likes to throw and leave stuff on the floor, but I also feel like I am just too overwhelmed. Single mommy, working, trying to make ends meet is tough. I am always so busy. The only time that I have for myself is when I go to the bar for a couple of hours, once a week, to just get away. ME time.

I think a lot of us that suffer PTSD need Me time. If its playing pool, golfing, going for a run, fishing, we need time to reflect. Your friend is not a burden, although he might feel like it. Don't let ANYONE ELSE make your friend feel that way. I mean no one can MAKE your friend fell that way, he does have a choice.

Talking. Talk to your friend or tell him to reach out and talk with someone who knows where he is coming from.

I hope I've helped your friend a little. Have a great day!

SSgt Vanesse, concur completely with Capt Chambless finding an expressive outlet is hugely important. What treatment plan has your friend tried. Why I ask this is because I have found many service members treated at the VA stay with the same treatment plan without signs of improvement. Be willing to change treatment plans if things aren't improving.

Even just understanding why the brain can't shut off the images, smells, sounds from the past was helpful. In essence all of these things are memories stored in short term memory. Your long term memory is like a photograph...there are few if any other things attached to the "photograph" Treatment plans that aid the mind in moving these thoughts, smells and sounds to long term memory are where I would start.
Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (requires written Homework about experiences) and EMDR Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing have helped many of my Soldiers. Are there TBI (Traumatic Brain Injuries) symptoms as well?

I wish I could share a success story and wisdom with you all, but I struggle daily to stay alive. I did my 10 years as a super trooper over achieving soldier, went through Desert Shield/Storm. After returning from DS in '91 to a less than faithful second wife and 2 ungrateful step-daughters, 6 mos. later I was sent to S. Korea unaccompanied for a year. I returned and was divorced 4 months later. A year later, I hooked up with a Capt for 8 months and almost married her. She wanted kids, I didn't. Broke up on Thursday, Friday she married "just a friend" and was 3 weeks pregnant with his kid. A month before this second betrayal, I crashed a UH-60 in the desert (only slight aircraft damage, no casualties). I self-refereed myself to mental health because I felt I was losing it and the rage was starting to destroy wall lockers. As a CW2 Co/BN Safety Officer, I was finished flying. 3 Months of counseling for depression and anxiety, I was given Zoloft and worked out like a beast to combat the nightmares, rejection, loss, etc. It worked to relieve the stress. Knowing the stigma I had created for myself, I resigned in shame from the only thing I knew and loved, the Army and flying.

I started the merry go round of worthless low paying civilian jobs, but by the grace of God, married a women (nurse practitioner that is not the touchy feely type) who for some reason, continues to tolerate me. I have had to many jobs to count and continue to feel lost. My wife convinced me to seek help at the VA in 2011. Big shocker, severe PTSD/ severe Depression and Anxiety for a 50% disability + 10% for tinnitus. A couple of years of VA counseling from female internists half my age, a crap load of pills twice a day, and I still have to force myself not to eat a bullet.

PTSD sucks! Loss sucks! Civilian life sucks! There are good days and there are bad days. I was once a very faithful Christian and now I feel like God hates my ass! I have lost my faith in God, myself, and my country. It is a dark place that I struggle with when awake and asleep.

Bottom line, we all have shitty stories and experiences that will continue to haunt our lives. The trick is to never quit or surrender to them. Suicide is not a solution. As long as you have breath in your lungs, you can fight. Find a battle buddy or counselor that you can open up to and get the demons out. Realize you are not alone and that the feelings you have are felt by thousands of your brothers and sisters. It isn't very comforting to know we are screwed up, but we did what we could to protect our country and served with honor. Stay in contact with folks here. I have isolated myself for far to many years and struggle to make contact, as I feel less than worthy or interesting to anyone else. THAT is a barrier you need to try and avoid.

I am now seeking therapy from outside the VA (tomorrow) to see if that will help. I am also trying to become an artist and hope to work through issues that way.

Best of luck to everyone dealing with similar issues.

I would say is to have a good friend that understands you. When I came back from OIF I and got out of the Army I don't think I was ready for being a civilian. OIF I was pretty ugly. I was lucky to have a good wife and friends to help me. Through the way. I have became unorganized in some ways as a way to cope. I really enjoy not thinking. I go on long ways to achieve this. It is just about the only way. Beside that I have pretty much developed OCD. I don't recall ever having it when I was younger but after I got back and still till today it affects me. Due to this I can't wear shoes with laces. It bothers me too much. When I run I will tie my shoes about 10 times, if I am lucky. This doesn't help with clearing my mind much.

But finding an outlet is the way to go. Avoiding military stuff is also a great way. I moved away from a base and go to a city to relax. I don't go to military bars or venues. I just want a regular place to feel like a regular guy. Finding a way to fill your time is a most. It should be something that has fulfillment in it. When you read a book, build a bike, or run a half marathon you fill like you have completed something. That sense is needed. The lack of fulfillment is the worst.

But finding a good group that has similar experience is the way to go. I recall a guy I knew trying to talk to me about PTSD and how we are alike and it didn't help at all. I actually got really upset. He as a Aircraft Refueler in Afghan as some big base. He never left the wire or patroled. That is not the same as an infantryman in Baghdad. By him trying to do that it made me mad. But he was trying. I appreciate that now. I always have an open ear for friends if need be.

For me it was a combination of meds therapy family support and returning to activities. The meds took a little while to get adjusted to the right dose and therapy helped a lot. Opening to my family made things easier for all of us. They understood certain reactions and would let me know if I was changing or reacting poorly. Finally coaching has been a blessing. Puts me back with a team and sharing knowledge with kids. The biggest thing is to admit there is an issue face it and use as many different approaches as needed. A single approach doesn't always work.

One your "friend" needs to get this out in the open with their spouse. Once a demon is exposed, it loses its power.
Two find a hobby that demands attention to detail such as model building. This is a bonus as it is something that the children can get in on as well.
Three if therapy is not working, try other resources such as VFW, American Legion, Elks Lodge, Moose Lodge, etc.
Four, understand that you are not alone, you don't have to face this monster alone.
Five PTSD is caused by having been there. Your friend along with everyone else who battles this demon has experienced something horrible while defending this nation. Your friend needs to understand that they are valuable. Remind them of that. As corny as it sounds, call your friend and tell em "Hey, you are valuable, I care." it goes a long way.
Six, get this book. It is AWESOME! https://www.rallypoint.com/answers/why-is-dad-so-mad-by-seth-kastle

You join RallyPoint and continue drinking.
JKJK
I'll post a better reply in a sec

The best therapy that i have found is staying in contact with the men and women you served with. I have multiple deployments, and as you know each one is different. My wife tells me i am not the same person when i come home. It takes time brother we are used to making split second decisions based on the scenario around us. Most of the time we don't have time to weigh the options. Think of your family as you would your platoon, include them in your decision making process, but also take time for yourself. Always remember our families serve to, I believe they have it harder than we do. When we are oversees doing the deed we don't think about much else. Our families go through the day to day bs as well the added stress if their loved one is alive or dead. I sought help when i got home from my last deployment, the unit should have a health professional or hell go see a chaplain. No one will hold it against you for seeking help. if you need to talk to someone I am currently oversees (sand land) I will be happy to listen. I am also a JTAC-I so i am sure we have had some of the same experiences. Good luck brother, and remember when in doubt put your hand to your heart, feel that its called purpose, and you got one!