What is the best way to tell your unit that you in no way shape or form want an ETS award from them?

Look I know how you feel. I was at a post for 9 years and 4 deployments. Our unit went light from heavy. After writing 13 awards for my Soldiers I was not writing my own award. However in hind site I should have went ahead and done it. Instead I'm short an award that I should have gotten

Maybe I'm rusty, but last I can remember my ETS award was my DD214

I would go to the chain of command and speak with them privately about the matter. Making issues like that public for the whole unit to see could have a very negative impact on unit morale and cohesion. There are many reasons the sm may not want it. It may be out of guilt, survivors guilt or other forms of PTSD or issues developed from combat.

I had to medically retire after 21 years I really didn't feel like an award for my retirement was necessary but the person that wrote the award for me explain to me he felt it was important for him to be able to write this award because he felt my career and the sacrifices that I made deserve that recognition. Never asked him what it was and never really cared What mattered to me was someone felt that I made a real positive contribution to the Army. I have seen people get upset because they were given and an ARCOM as an ETS award or a retirement award and felt they deserved more that's just Petty and they didn't deserve an award in the first place.

I'm assuming a ETS award is a End of Service award! Isn't a DD Fom 214 a form of an award if you get out Honorably? Now retiring is slightly different after doing 21 years! I accepted a retirement award in the form of a MSM. Did the ETS award replace the ARCOM?

In a few years that award will have some sentamental value too you. Maybe you might not think so right now, but it will remind you of the good times and the comraderie from your years of service. Take care and good luck.

You don't tell them anything and you accept the award. As a SGT and leader, you should respect the tradition and set an example for those you lead. You are probably familiar with the phrase, "Counsel in private, praise in public." If you have a "bad taste", you are doing a disservice to those who look up to you. Accept your award in public and schedule a one-on-one with senior leadership to express your issues and bring a proposed solution(s). If you keep those issues bottled up, you will be setting yourself up for years of regret.
Lastly and contrary to your statement, "that a civilian company cares not a whit about"...it does matter. In getting the post-military career I am in now, I had to provide written artifacts documenting my experience and qualifications. My end of tour award was the only document that officially proved all of my late military career accomplishments. Granted, if you choose to work at Wal-Mart, Home Depot or the likes, it does not matter. If you want a real career that pays well, it matters. Future employers do not have the time or the desire to call your prior military leaders and discuss your qualifications. A permanent document is always the way to go.
Keep charging!
Signed,
A Navy Chief (Retired)

Man up! Tell your First Seargeant you don't don't want it and why. MAN UP!

Go talk to your SgtMaj, be professional and make your case and listen to his recommendations. He is your senior enlisted and will give you his recommendation. Listen to him and follow his guidance.

I spent 8 months in Korea away from my family, and had to leave early for a MEB due to permanent injury. I served with zero issues, and did not even receive a COA for PCS, while people got ARCOMs for spending 2 weeks in the barracks during exercises. I totally understand why you feel the way you do. It is just an award, most civilian employers don't know the difference between an AAM and an MSM, and no one cares how "stacked" you are at the unit ball. Id just toss it in the trash if I was that dead set on not receiving it.