What is the goofiest thing you did in the military?

Nothing major, but we always tried to find ways to "spice up" inspections. We were on a company-sized post in Bayreuth, Germany and preparing for an inspection from the regimental commander (2nd ACR), this means painting vehicles. When we park our trucks, the bed is kept in a raised position. So, we thought we would have a little fun.
The Colonel loved it, the company CO loved it, the 1st Sergeant, not so much. Almost started a war when Top called it an embarrassment and we countered with, "it's a morale booster".

I was a brand new PFC in JRTC. I didn't know how to put my nods on helmet the right way, so they kept falling off. I was tired and frustrated, been up for several days already, so the last thing I needed was to keep messing with these nods. Then this shadowy figure appeared in front of me, and I didn't recognize him. He said "what's wrong with you?" I said "I'm trying to figure out these damn nods!" He said "do you know who the hell you're talking to?" I said "no, and I don't really give a f***!" I thought he might be an O/C (still the wrong response, I know) he said calmly "you're talking to the GD first sergeant" I looked down and said "roger first sergeant" he said "now go over there, lay down, and pull security!" Whoops

The one thing I will admit in Public is the time a bunch of us decided that we did not want to party in our dormitory (patio in front of doors) on the concrete. at a Stateside base. so we diss-assembled a bed and reassembled it outside on patio. and three girls and about five guys decided to get hammered while listening to tunes through the window of the dorm room.

We all passed out over that thing and fell asleep. Nothing would have happened on that Sunday Morning except the two star Air Division Commander drove by on the way to Church with his wife...
He called the Dorm Manager the following Monday and asked him if there was an overcrowding problem in the dorm's he was not aware of... The Dorm Manager then chewed our ass over it..

I guess, the 2 silly things I did was once in Basic, I clotheslined myself while running out of a GP Medium. The other is while in Iraq...one night the base was hit with rockets. The thumps did wake me up and as soon as I heard the third thump I knew it was on the other side so I rolled back over and went to sleep. My team leader came banging on my CHU door and chastised me for not being in the bunker. My only answer, as we loaded up to go do accountability, was to say that the rockets weren't even close.

Came back from Liberty in Vietnam, somewhat inebriated and jumped into the Mekong River (1960 timeframe). I thought it was amusing, the Vietnamese gunboat crew that tracked me with a .50 Cal. Not so much.

CPT Joseph K Murdock , nothing silly I did compares to yours.

First field exercise after commissioning. middle of June, 98 degrees/98% humidity, and the O/Cs decide we are being attacked by gas. Everybody MOPP4s up and we are laying in the blazing sun pulling perimeter security. After about 45 minutes I am hot, miserable and bored out of my freaking skull, so I start firing off 3 round bursts. O/C comes charging up yelling "Please tell me that is not an NCO doing that". One of my guys pipes up and says "Oh Hell no, that's OUR Lieutenant". O/C asks me WTF I am doing and I reply, "There's enemy in the wire". He says BS, there isn't anyone out there and I say, "There isn't any F*ing gas out here either but I'm still wearing this F*ing gas mask. If you can pretend there is gas, I can pretend there are enemy in the wire" He just shook his head and walked away, less than 5 minutes later they gave the all clear.

When I was with a Combat Construction Engineer unit back in Germany, many years ago, our field exercises rotated around anti-tank defense. (Tank ditches and the like.) Some of my fellow soldiers and myself, thinking we were much more bad-ass then we were, decided to raid and "attack" one of the cav units.

The next morning, there was a tank (I think an M1A1) in our camp with the turret pointed towards the TOC.

Will never know how the heck they got that there without being seen.

ACU's and Velcro. So we're going thru pre mob training. I was tasked with running a Squad level dismount MVMT to Contact. So had to be up and moving by 0330-0400 to link up with ammo etc. someone decided it would be a good idea to replace my SFC rank on my ACU top with PINK LT rank....about 7 or 8 that am CSM and LTC decide to visit training. CSM salutes me and the LTC got this really constipated look on his face. Yes shame on me for not checking myself.

Found the culprit of said event. Found me a Velcro Sick Call Ranger tab, and PINK 1SG rank(oh yes) right before he had to go to a Staff meeting at BN. Received a phone call from CSM to report to his office. "Locked" us both up and told us to knock it off. Kinda hard to take him too seriously when he's doing his best not to laugh. Mission after that was to "get" the CSM....never came to happen. He was defenitely on to us and REDCON 1 at all times..

I don't know if this would be classified as goofiest,at the time it was pretty frightening,but here goes my buddy and I were put out on a LP for the company in the Central Highlands RVN we were given a case of M26 frags because of course firing your weapon at night would give away your position everything was going fine until the middle of the watch when we were surrounded by noises of movement we of course radioed in a positive sitrep and started throwing grenades morning found us with torn up jungle and evidence of a monkey troop that had passed though in the night!