Posted on Sep 19, 2015
What kind of Stories did you used to tell your father to get him to give you money?
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A young Arkie goes off to college. Half way through the semester, having foolishly squandered all of his money on his girlfriend, he calls home.
"Dad," he says, "You won't believe what modern education is
developing! They actually have a program here at Hendrix that will
teach our dog, Ole' Blue how to talk!"
"That's amazing," his Dad says. "How do I get Ole' Blue in that program?"
"Just send him over here with $1,000" the young Arkie says "and I'll get him in the course."
So, his Father sends the dog and $1,000.
About two-thirds of the way through the semester,the money again runs out. The boy calls home.
"So how's Ole' Blue doing son?" his Father asks.
"Awesome, Dad, he's talking up a storm," he says,
"but you just won't believe this they've had such good results they
have started to teach the animals how to read!"
"Read!?" says his Father, "No kidding! How do we get Blue in that program?"
"Just send $2,500, I'll get him in the class."
The money promptly arrives. The Arkie and his girlfriend are able to buy enough marijuana to last the whole semester. But our hero has a problem.
At the end of the year, his Father will find out the dog can neither
talk, nor read. Even though he was always pretty
much able to lie his way out of trouble, the Arkie asked his
girlfriend to help him think of a really good lie to tell his Dad.
She very quickly came up with a plan for him.
So she has him shoot the dog.
When he arrives home at the end of the year, his Father is all excited.
"Where's Ole' Blue? I just can't wait to see him read something and talk!"
"Dad," the boy says, "I have some grim news.
Yesterday morning, just before we left to drive home, Ole'
Blue was in the living room, kicked back in the recliner, reading the
Wall Street Journal, like he usually does".
"Then Ole' Blue turned to me and asked, so, is your Daddy still
messing around with that little redhead who lives down the street?"
The Father went white and exclaimed, "I hope you shot that lying damn dog before he talks to your Mother!"
"I sure did, Dad!" "That's my boy!"
"Dad," he says, "You won't believe what modern education is
developing! They actually have a program here at Hendrix that will
teach our dog, Ole' Blue how to talk!"
"That's amazing," his Dad says. "How do I get Ole' Blue in that program?"
"Just send him over here with $1,000" the young Arkie says "and I'll get him in the course."
So, his Father sends the dog and $1,000.
About two-thirds of the way through the semester,the money again runs out. The boy calls home.
"So how's Ole' Blue doing son?" his Father asks.
"Awesome, Dad, he's talking up a storm," he says,
"but you just won't believe this they've had such good results they
have started to teach the animals how to read!"
"Read!?" says his Father, "No kidding! How do we get Blue in that program?"
"Just send $2,500, I'll get him in the class."
The money promptly arrives. The Arkie and his girlfriend are able to buy enough marijuana to last the whole semester. But our hero has a problem.
At the end of the year, his Father will find out the dog can neither
talk, nor read. Even though he was always pretty
much able to lie his way out of trouble, the Arkie asked his
girlfriend to help him think of a really good lie to tell his Dad.
She very quickly came up with a plan for him.
So she has him shoot the dog.
When he arrives home at the end of the year, his Father is all excited.
"Where's Ole' Blue? I just can't wait to see him read something and talk!"
"Dad," the boy says, "I have some grim news.
Yesterday morning, just before we left to drive home, Ole'
Blue was in the living room, kicked back in the recliner, reading the
Wall Street Journal, like he usually does".
"Then Ole' Blue turned to me and asked, so, is your Daddy still
messing around with that little redhead who lives down the street?"
The Father went white and exclaimed, "I hope you shot that lying damn dog before he talks to your Mother!"
"I sure did, Dad!" "That's my boy!"
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Edited 9 y ago
Posted 9 y ago
Responses: 9
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None. That didn't work on my Father. I always asked if there was something I could do to earn some. He would ask how much I was looking to earn, I'd tell him and he would assign me work. Wash and wax his car, mow the lawn, etc. He would always say " nothing in life is free ; you have to earn it."
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SSgt Terry P.
Cpl James Waycasie Same her ,James.I was "entitled"--Entitled to work for what i wanted. LOL
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Cpl James Waycasie
SSgt Terry P. - Amen! I tried it with my daughter. She asked for an allowance, said kids at school got one. I said ok, you wash the dishes everyday and I'll give you $20.00 a week. Found out later her mom would do them if she didn't and not tell me. I guess that's one reason she is so spoiled. When I found out; I cut off her "allowance." She admits now that her mom was wrong and thanks me for trying to instill good Christian morals in her. She is an only child so she pretty much got what she wanted within reason anyway.
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Cpl James Waycasie
Sgt Kelli Mays - Both my parents worked so my mom paid me ten a week to watch my 12 yr younger brother, cook and clean, and then I would earn ten more from my Dad on Saturday for mowing grass, washing and waxing the cars. Sometimes I could pick up an extra 2 or 3 dollars if there was other things he needed doing. My parents have never just gave me money unless it was for my birthday or Christmas. I picked cotton when I was 3 and that money went to help buy food. ( Back in the 60's ) My sister got pampered some but not a lot.
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Sgt Kelli Mays
Cpl James Waycasie - I knew every Christmas and Birthday I would get a card with a 100 dollar bill in it....I mowed the grass...hell, I even had a paper route while we were on Randolph...now that really sucked....I cooked...washed clothes, swept...waxed the wooden floors....but didn't receive an allowance...But on Fridays when it was time to go to the movies with my friends...I usually got a 20 dollar bill.
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Cpl James Waycasie
Sgt Kelli Mays - I think kids today could use some of the old " Allowance ways" of do some chores. I sold Grit and greeting cards to neighbors. Selling papers do suck, lol
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Sgt Kelli Mays
I don't remember telling my dad any specific stories - probably did my best to cajole him when I was young for some specific toy or candy but I don;t think I made up any stories.
When he was older he would give each of his children and our spouses $10,000 per year which was the maximum gift the IRS allowed in the 1990's. My dad was not wealthy; but, he was wise in his investments and generous to all.
I don't remember telling my dad any specific stories - probably did my best to cajole him when I was young for some specific toy or candy but I don;t think I made up any stories.
When he was older he would give each of his children and our spouses $10,000 per year which was the maximum gift the IRS allowed in the 1990's. My dad was not wealthy; but, he was wise in his investments and generous to all.
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