What’s the best prank in uniform you've seen? Comment below!

My Marine Attack Jet squadron got a new Sergeant Major from an Infantry background and he seemed disgusted by the casualness of Air Wingers. His office desk was always immaculate with nothing out of place. He accused a Seat Shop Marine filling oxygen bottles with LOX of cutting off the tops of his boots so he didn't have to blouse his Cammies. (They wore safety shoes with elastic at the ankles so the LOX would spill onto the ground instead of inside his boots, freezing his feet solid.

Some Staff NCOs decided he needed "loosening up" so they devised a plan. They put a set of Alpha's on a civilian tech rep who had hair over his collar. The Admin Chief told the Sergeant Major that there was a new Staff Sergeant checking in and the Sergeant Major said, "Have him report to me".

The Staff Sergeant, instead of banging on the hatch 3 times and requesting permission to enter, just casually sauntered in and said, Hi Sergeant Major", as he tossed his mock Service Record Book onto his desk and it slide across the top.

There was a set of footprints on top of his desk from where the Sergeant Major jumped on it and started choking the "Staff Sergeant".

The Staff NCO's who were hiding and watching around a corner rushed in and yelled, "Sergeant Major, it was just a joke!" as they tried to pull him off the Tech Rep, who was seriously rattled and in a daze.

The Sergeant Major started spending time around the Maintenance Marines and was amazed at how hard they worked and how late they would stay to finish the job. He was a bit more tolerant of Air Wingers after that.

During Airborne jumps(Mass Tac),we used to get the Cherry's to crap their pants. When the green light came on, the person behind the cherry would hand a cut Static Line to the new guy yelling "Hey Cherry, you got my static line... this ones is yours"
Talk about bulging eyes.

Sending our noobs out on satellite watch. On mids we'd select the greenest noob and kit him or her out with a road-guard vest, coned flashlights, binoculars, an empty rucksack and a compass. We would then give them an azimuth that intersected with the local airport's approach pattern and told them to watch for lights, explaining that what they would see would be the alert indicators on old photo-surveillance satellites showing they had a film cannister to deploy. We would impress on the luckless dolt the importance of flashing a particular sequence at the bird and waiting for the reply: three long and three short red-light pulses. If they didn't get the reply then they needed to go back exactly 90 minutes later and try again but if the satellite didn't show up it meant the enemy got the cannister. If that happened they would have to get their ID-10-T form signed off by every watch supervisor.
It was a very involved prank but it kept everybody awake and entertained on a dull night shift.

Either that or the time someone added a quart of fruit pectin to the 5-gallon coffee urn at base ops.

As a PVT, i got sent for a box of grid squares by my SSG so i went to supply asked for any old maps they had and spent the next hour or so cutting out the grid squares and putting them in a shoe box, 1SG see's me and asks what am i doing, i explain and he says don't show up till recall formation. SSG was not happy that day, 1SG had a surprise layout, My section was SFC, SSG and Me, SFC was on leave.

Late in the year 1979, fresh out of boot camp, I reported to 29 Palms, California, for my first phase MOS/Technical school, but it was delayed starting for a month due to some paperwork issue, so some "genius" assigned me to a supply job (to keep me out of trouble, OOPS). The Staff Sergeant in charge sent me looking for a "sky hook". He gave me a requisition form AND told me not to return without said equipment. The SSgt did not understand that I was a hard charging 19 year old Lance Corporal, with a Genius level IQ, who knew how to get things, and get things done( in or out of channels). It took me 2 days, but I found the "sky hook", and even got it delivered from MCAS El Toro(this was before MCAS El Toro was relocated to 29 Palms). It also came with 2 Generals(CG of El Toro and CG of MCB 29 Palms) wanting to know why some Staff Sergeant in a supply shop needed a crane that is used for moving disabled planes around the runway. Yes, people were very angry, BUT I was never sent on any "Wild Goose Chases" ever again.

This happened at Fort Hood in 1978. We had a brand new private E1 just process into our unit. He drove an Erkel looking little Subaru. Four of us picked that car up and moved it into the Battery Commander’s marked/reserved parking spot in front of the orderly room. The look on the guy’s face when he got called out at 1300 formation to move his his car out of the commanders space was priceless! Lucky for all parties concerned that the BC had a sense of humor!

The best prank in uniform In ever DID was me and my buddy Peebles( yes thats his real name) decided to have a little fun with some of the Marines on board.
Prank 1. Go into the Marine Berthing area where they're 90% SIQ because they're all sea sick and start swabbing the deck like we were there to help keep the place clean and have the most disgusting conversations possible about the nastiest cheesiest most foul smelling tail we ever screwed. That got a few of the lite weights to throw up, then we started rembering the songs we used to as kids so we both started singing the "greasu Grimey Gopher Guts" Song. You all know the one with Mutilated Monkey Meat. That got a few more to toss their cookies right over the side of their racks because they couldn't make it to their head in time.

Prank2. Peebles and I stood by a locked fan room and acted like we were waiting for it to open. A marine fell in behind and then another. We both acted like we had to go but didn't want to with phrases liek "this place is gonna open in 10 minutes or so. "Dude we can't be late or Cheif will use our balls as a speed bag" etc etc so when another marine fell in behind the first one we left. We came back 20 minutes later to 15 marines waiting for an empty Fan room to be unlocked.

Prank 3 Some young not even fully graduated "O-ci-ffer" type was coming on board the ship for the last leg of our cruise and Pebbles and I were dressed in Civies headed out for liberty. He saw us request permission to leave but before the OOD could grant that permission he chimes in that he was an O-ci-ffer and reporting on board and told us to take his bags to his state room. Then proceeded to walk away to report. Peebles and I looked at each other and he asked me Who was that. I smiled a big Ol Carolina Redneck grin and told my dear buddy "peebles, didn't you recognize the famous Oss-i-fer Davey Jones!" Peebles matched my grin, which wasn't bad for a Jersey yankee and we proceeded to throw Officer Davery Joine's gear into his locker. Fortunatly the kid wasn't a dumb as he looked because all his luggage floated. The O.O.D gave us permission to depart with a straighht face which is more than can be said for the M.A.A. cause that poor guy was cracking up hard. I think he still cracked a smile whenever he saw us on the mess decks.

Those are some of my best pranks that ddin't involved nudity. I'll always miss The Kearsarge.

A can of kippers snacks under the chair of the Supply officer, she emptied the trash can sta back down and thought it was her body odors until she was told about the prank. Can anyone top this one?

I was told this by a Senior Chief (E-8) that back in the 70's maybe, they had one of the first Women Officers in Charge of the WX det with all the rest males. Well they had a uniform inspection and everyone stuff socks (yes sssss) down their pants. When she came out, they did the salute, present command. When she came to the first person, she looked down, eyes got big and then looked down the line. She turned red in the face with a smile and told the Chief that inspection is done and everyone got an outstanding. Could not do that now days because someone would take it the wrong way and not as a joke.

We were doing SRP getting ready to deploy to Iraq. The new butterbar in the company was in line in front of me. I tapped him on his shoulder and told him "Excuse me sir, I couldn't help but notice that your rank is upside down. You might want to fix that before the BN CDR sees it." The LT says Thank You SGT." and then pulls the velcro rank off of his chest and rotates it 180 degrees and puts it back on. After the 2LT turned back around, the PV2 behind me in line asked me "SGT, how could you tell the LT's rank was upside down"? I told him "if and when you reach my rank, you'll know." I don't know which part was funnier: the 2LT removing and replacing his rank, or the PV2 asking me How I could tell the LT's rank was upside down.