What's the craziest thing you've seen in the barracks?

The drill sergeant a requruit to get him icecream at 0030. Drill sergeant had a fit when he was called out at 0330 and the ice cream machine was sitting in the barracks

And there I was, korea. Rained so hard you could swim in the laundry room.

Had a SP4 that had a subscription to Hustler magazine. When he renewed his subscription, the issue had a vinyl record attached. He put it on the record player and listened to a girl talking like she was being talked into screwing. He made up a whole dialogue that made it sound like he was the one talking her into it. SP4 goes on flagpole leave. During that week, the CO holds a barrack inspection. SP4 puts on the record and acts out his "discussion". Captain tries to open door, but finds it locked. He loses his shit, calls Top to open door. When he finds out it's a record, he proceeds to chew the Sp4's butt. Sp4 tells him "I can do what I want to. I'm on leave." and shows him paperwork. Cap realizes there's nothing he can do, so he stomps out cussing.

My roommate superglueing everything in my ao

Marine Corps Comm School: female Marine attempted to jump off the third deck while i was on duty in the early afternoon, duty SNCO sprints to grab her before she throws herself off the catwalk, and he grabs her around the waist, and rips her backwards, resulting in her cry-screaming how happy she is that he cares enough to stop her, and as i'm about to go up to see if he needed help with getting her back, she stands up, and takes off her boots and trousers as if to fling hherself at HIM. I just turned and kept patrolling.

In AIT some dude pooped on someone else's pillow ...

At Sheppard air force Base. I had seen an airman passed out drunk on the bottom bunk while his roommate plastic wrapped him to the bottom bunk. Then proceeded with the help of others flip the bunk so he was left suspended the rest of the night.

In AIT a female soldier broke her leg cus she was trying to sneak back in to her room ..trying to propel with sheets from the 3rd floor to the 1St floor..

I once saw a guy branding himself with USMC using a coat hanger.

My room mate was a cheap S.O.B. He saved his spit cans and the end of the month he would spread it out on the rug to dry and re dip the left overs. I hated living in the barracks.
That was in Alaska circa 1978-1979