What's the craziest thing you've seen in the barracks?

Nude Korean lady answering the door to a guy in my squad

Years ago during a IG inspection a soldier left a piece of paper on his unmade bunk. It caused a stink at first but when it was read by the inspector and realized what it was. He then put it back and kept going. We found out later this soldier was a MOH recepitant. They are exempt from inspections. We discussed this with the soldier and corrected the situation. You still have have pride and follow the Guidelines and not embarrass the unit and commander

As a platoon leader in an AIT company, I saw all kinds of crazy crap. One time, I was called out in the middle of the night to take a kid to the hospital. He had threaded his dogtag chain up his nose, down his throat, and out his mouth. He then connected it back up and was running back and forth, kinda like a chain hoist, I guess. Anyway, it got stuck...

Another time, a guy's roommates had gotten tired of his unacceptable behavior (whatever it was). He passed out drunk one night and his "buddies" disassembled the bunk (his was on the bottom) and reassembled it with his on top - with him still in it. Then they went out into the hallway and pulled a fire alarm. Poor kid hit the concrete floor with his face, busted it up badly.

icyhot/bengay combo to the babymaker haha was hopped on the mop sink

Wife, crib, baby, & pet dog. Guy was pissed I wouldn't clear him so he called 1st SGT. Asked him if he had been there and he said no. Asked him if he wanted to move the crib. End of conversation. :-)

Soldier gets of late shift. Starts cooking breakfast and then goes into room to talk to wife. Falls asleep. Blames stove for not turning off automatically (they don't) for the fire that almost burned down the barracks.

Unlocking doors for CSM during inspection. Hears someone in barracks room. Calls for them to exit or sending in dogs. Female comes out. SP4 that had that room was due for advancement board that afternoon. CSM said "Don't bother showing up."

Underaged soldier breaks into empty barracks room for a drink party. Falls asleep drunk and was there in the morning when the room was due for inspection. Goes next door to get his pants.

Sp4 Byron Skinner. I one had an NCO, old school to a fault, he was in the Army since before WW II. He did the profanity a mm from your ear bit and humiliated the offender in front of the Platoon. But the worst thing he did to a f—k up was dump a well used butt can on their racks. The smell will last at lest a week.

NAS Port Lyautey, Kentria, Morocco......as we had three section duty, and shared the base with the French, and they were still fighting in Algeria. For our security the hangar watch carried a carbine, duty belt. Around 1930, in the day room I was reading, and at the center table two sailors, and the watch, duty belt on floor, carbine in a lounge chair, all with their pants at their ankles having "crab" races. (learned to keep your crabs, and not kill them off, withing two weeks you would have a new crew to train). Now draw a Small circle on a sheet of paper with a larger circle around it, as they were picking crab out of the pubic hair and placing their crab in the inner circle, first crab to the outer circle wins.... Well, then we hear "Attention on Deck", as the section leader enters followed by the Duty officer. Section leader handled it well it was the Duty officer that went crazy..........rippin and tearing up the section leader and the lad on watch, watch was relieved an spent the night in the brig. Chief had to sign him out next day.

A helicopter. I was stationed down at Ft Rucker as an MP, was making patrols around the WOC aviation barracks and saw a tail of a Huey sticking out of the double doors of the barracks. This was after Viet Nam and training got a little tense on aviators.

When i was stationed at Nellis AFB guys rode their motorcycles down the first floor hallway

Two recruits naked posing for photo's to send to the others girlfriends,fucking nuts!!!!!!!!!!!!!