What's The Most Ridiculous Thing You've Seen Someone Get Chewed Out For?

In a private conversation, in the privacy of my own home. I told my wife that I was not a big fan of the base commanders Officer's all-call's at the O-club. There were a couple hundred officers and their wives at these mixers. Not my idea of a great time to mingle about smartly with people who I had no contact professionally or socially other than these quarterly events. I knew and was friendly with every Navy officer, CPO, and PO that my duties put me in contact with.

My wife was friendly with the Barracks XO's wife. For reasons that escape me, my dislike of the all-call's came up in a conversation between my wife and the XO's wife. I was called to the XO's office, locked at the position of attention and had my ass high volume handed to me for about 3 minutes. The topic, my dislike of the all-call's. He followed up with an order that I would say nothing to my wife about the ass chewing I just got. Whereupon I informed him that
1) I was going to the all-call, never said I wasn't going, never intended to not go; [he freely admitted that his wife never said that I intended not to go.]
2) The CO can order me to do something. No one can order me to like doing that something. (I guarantee no one ever knew I didn't like the all-call's before.)
3) The XO's authority does not extend into my marriage, and I will discuss any %$#@&! thing I want with my wife as long as the topic is not classified.
4) The XO will stay out of my marriage, end of discussion.

He immediately started handing me my ass again. Whereupon I informed him that he would have to continue this in the CO's office, if he wanted me present. Did an about face and went to the CO's office. The CO ordered us to neutral corners. The XO never broached the topic with me again.

At 11B training, at Ft. Polk in 1970, the Drill Sgts instructed us to "be in bed" by 10 p.m..
Shortly after the time deadline they caught "someone" writing a letter under the covers. They made the entire Barracks get up and run around the Battalion area Barracks for some time. They made that "someone" get up on the Drill Sgt.'s stand & ordered to state why they were running. "Someone" stated that he was in bed... as ordered... but writing a letter under the covers. Hence... continue to run around the Barracks again. For the second time the "someone" was given the D.S.'s stand again... who stated apparently, he hadn't followed the order as intended. The next day in the Chow Line two men were talking about the running & wondered who that "someone" was. See, it was winter & everyone was in winter dress jacket along with the headwear that covered all but a small portion of your face. "I" confessed & apologized. They stated it was a good thing they hadn't made it upstairs because they had never gone to bed... & we would still be running. Somethings one never forgets.