Posted on Nov 29, 2013
Col Regional Director, Whem/Ssa And Congressional Liaison
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We all know that when it comes to military jokes and amazing stories, military folk have corned the market; some are old classic and some are more recent, but one thing's for certain, there's some real gems out there... so, what's your best joke or "sea story?" It could be on the topic of one of your sister services (a little light ribbing is ok of course, we're all family here), or perhaps a classic yarn about a "brand spankin' new" Lieutenant or "salty" old Chief, maybe even a humorous or entertaining story passed down through the generations.  Written descriptions, photos, links, slideshows, videos, etc. are all welcome, whatever way you have to tell your story or joke is absolutely ok, just have one basic rule here, let's try to keep it within the bounds of good taste; so, put on your thinking caps folks, and let's have some fun here... I know this'll be a great time; thank you for all that your do, and... see you all in the discussion threads!! 
Edited 6 y ago
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Responses: 40
SGT Team Leader
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A sailor in a bar leans
over to the guy next to him and says, ''Wanna hear a MARINE joke?''
The guy
next to him replies, ''Well, before you tell that joke, you should know
something. I'm 6' tall, 200 lbs, and I'm a MARINE. The guy sitting next to me is
6'2'' tall, weighs 225, and he's a MARINE. The fella next to him is 6'5'' tall,
weighs 250, and he's also a MARINE. Now, you still wanna tell that joke?''


The sailor says, ''Nah, I don't want to have to explain it three
times.''
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CPL(P) Cyber Threat Intelligence Consultant
CPL(P) (Join to see)
>1 y
Watch your back. A flying bird told me that Cpl Fitzzi and some three guys are looking for you.
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LTC Program Manager
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Nice
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SFC Michael Boulanger
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There was a group of Officers stationed in Germany and they decided to take leave and travel across Germany on the train and visit a historic area. The Officers arrived the train station and each one approached the ticket counter and purchased their own ticket. While waiting for the train they saw a group of NCOs arrive and only one of them approached the ticket counter and purchased a ticket. The officers were in wonderment and talked about the NCOs and were trying to figure out what they were up to. The train arrived and the Officers and all of the NCOs boarded the train. After a few minutes of the train departing the conductor was making his way through the cars checking tickets. The NCOs, noticing the conductor approaching, get up and run into the bathroom. The conductor checked all of the Officers' tickets then moves to the back of the car ang knocks on the bathroom door and says "Ticket please". A ticket them appeared from under the door and the conductor checked it and slid it back under the door and moved on to the next car. The Officers were amazed at the events that transpired and decided that upon their return they would utilize the same plan that the NCOs used.

A few days had passed and the Officers leave was ending and they arrived at the train station. Only one of the Officers approached the ticket booth and purchased a ticket and returned to his group. A few moments later the NCOs arrived at the train station and not one of them approached the ticket booth to purchase a ticket. The Officers were totally confused and could not figure out what the NCOs were up to. As the train arrived all of the Officers and all of the NCOs had boarded the train. After the train departed the station they noticed the conductor checking tickets and on their way to their car. The Officers and NCOs noticing this left their seats and rushed to the bathrooms except for one NCO. The Officers were in one bathroom and the NCOs were in the other. The remaining NCO approached the bathroom the Officers were in and knocked on the door and said "ticket please".

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SSG Stay At Home Dad
SSG (Join to see)
>1 y
lmao
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SSG Stay At Home Dad
SSG (Join to see)
>1 y
Sorry but I had to borrow this joke I'm still laughing lol
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SSgt Forensic Meteorological Consultant
SSgt (Join to see)
>1 y
At first I didn't get that joke but then remembered, we Air Force people go by Lear Jet. :)
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PO1 Daniel Stone
PO1 Daniel Stone
8 mo
I actually DID laugh out loud!
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1SG Steven Stankovich
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An officer in a hot air balloon realised he was lost. He reduced altitude and spotted an NCO below.

He descended a bit more and shouted, "Excuse me, can you help me? I promised a friend I would meet him an hour ago, but I don't know where I am."

The NCO below replied, "You're in a hot air balloon hovering approximately 30 feet above the ground. You're between 40 and 41 degrees north latitude and between 59 and 60 degrees west longitude."

"You must be an NCO ," said the officer.

"I am," replied the NCO, "How did you know?"

"Well," answered the officer, "everything you told me is technically correct, but I've no idea what to make of your information and the fact is that I'm still lost. Frankly, you've not been much help at all. If anything, you've delayed my trip."

The NCO below responded, "You must be an officer."

"I am," replied the officer, "but how did you know?"

"Well," said the NCO, "you don't know where you are or where you're going. You have risen to where you are due to a large quantity of hot air. You made a promise which you've no idea how to keep, and you expect people beneath you to solve your problems. The fact is you are in exactly the same position you were in before we met, but now, somehow it's my fault."
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SSG Stay At Home Dad
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>1 y
LMAO That's a good one MSG
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Sgt John Earley
Sgt John Earley
>1 y
Of course shit rolls downhill.
Lol
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