What's your best "military-related joke" or "amusing military story?"
Motivation
Mentorship
Esprit de Corps
over to the guy next to him and says, ''Wanna hear a MARINE joke?'' <br>The guy
next to him replies, ''Well, before you tell that joke, you should know
something. I'm 6' tall, 200 lbs, and I'm a MARINE. The guy sitting next to me is
6'2'' tall, weighs 225, and he's a MARINE. The fella next to him is 6'5'' tall,
weighs 250, and he's also a MARINE. Now, you still wanna tell that joke?''
<br><br>The sailor says, ''Nah, I don't want to have to explain it three
times.''</div>
There was a group of Officers stationed in Germany and they decided to take leave and travel across Germany on the train and visit a historic area. The Officers arrived the train station and each one approached the ticket counter and purchased their own ticket. While waiting for the train they saw a group of NCOs arrive and only one of them approached the ticket counter and purchased a ticket. The officers were in wonderment and talked about the NCOs and were trying to figure out what they were up to. The train arrived and the Officers and all of the NCOs boarded the train. After a few minutes of the train departing the conductor was making his way through the cars checking tickets. The NCOs, noticing the conductor approaching, get up and run into the bathroom. The conductor checked all of the Officers' tickets then moves to the back of the car ang knocks on the bathroom door and says "Ticket please". A ticket them appeared from under the door and the conductor checked it and slid it back under the door and moved on to the next car. The Officers were amazed at the events that transpired and decided that upon their return they would utilize the same plan that the NCOs used.
A few days had passed and the Officers leave was ending and they arrived at the train station. Only one of the Officers approached the ticket booth and purchased a ticket and returned to his group. A few moments later the NCOs arrived at the train station and not one of them approached the ticket booth to purchase a ticket. The Officers were totally confused and could not figure out what the NCOs were up to. As the train arrived all of the Officers and all of the NCOs had boarded the train. After the train departed the station they noticed the conductor checking tickets and on their way to their car. The Officers and NCOs noticing this left their seats and rushed to the bathrooms except for one NCO. The Officers were in one bathroom and the NCOs were in the other. The remaining NCO approached the bathroom the Officers were in and knocked on the door and said "ticket please".
God was out admiring his creation one day when he looked down upon a lake and saw an Army Ranger training in an assualt raft. As he moved closer, he could see the muscular Ranger propelling the craft at an amazing rate and chanting "Get the mission done! Get the mission done!" in time with the oar strokes.
God said "WOW! I created a truly amazing creature when I made the Army Ranger . . . but I wonder how he would perform if he was a little less intelligent?" So God removed half his brain and left.
The next morning, God returned to the lake to find the Ranger rowing away and chanting "Get the mission done! Get the mission done!"
"Incredible!" God said. "With half a brain he is STILL amazing! . . . but I wonder how he would do with no brain?" So God removed the other half.
The next morning, God returned to the lake and found him rowing away but now his cadance had changed, "From the halls of Montazuuuma, to the shores of Tripoliii!"
By the way, it took me awhile to remember one that I liked that was actually 'family friendly'.
And to our Marine brothers: all in fun! I worked with 1st Marines in Iraq and I'd go to war (or out partying) with them anytime!
The Air Force went first, it took 16 hours, and the Pentagon was completely secured.
The Army was next, it took 10 hours to completely secure the building.
Next, came the Marine Corps. It took 2 hours.
Last came the Navy...an E-3 went out to the door with a piece of paper, on it was written "Secured", and taped it to the door. It took 2 minutes...
(Story)
One day there was a field problem.
The soldiers had been on the field with out taking a shower or changing their under wears for a very long time.
Moral was low, because of this.
The 1st SGT was concern about the moral of his company since their was no water to take a shower.
the 1st SGT tries to come up with a solution so he goes to sleep that night.
The next morning, the 1st SGT brings the company to a formation.
(End of story)
1st SGT:" Company Atten Shunn!"
1st SGT: "At easy"
1st SGT: " I have some good news and some bad news"
1st SGT: "The good news is that we get to change under wears"
Unit: yells " YEAAAAAAAAAAAAhhhhhhhhhhhhh"
1st SGT: "The bad news is, 1st platoon, change under wears with 2nd platoon and 3rd platoon change under wears with 4th platoon".
The CO was curious so he sent a marine up to see what was going on.
As the marine approached the ranger sprinted into the woods, and the marine followed. Yelling and screaming could be heard coming from the woods, seconds later the Ranger stepped out and stood back at attention.
The CO was still curious so he sent a squad up to investigate.
The ranger ran into the woods and after some yelling and screaming, came back out and stood at attention again.
Now the CO was angry so he sent an entire Platoon up to the top of the hill. The ranger ran into the woods.
He emerged moments later after some more yelling and screaming with no sign of the marines anywhere.
The CO had had enough, he sent the entire battalion of marines charging up the hill.
The ranger ran into the woods. More yelling and screaming and this time some gunfire. Finally, a terribly wounded marine crawled out of the woods and reported back to the CO.
The CO inquired "Do you mean to tell me that one army ranger destroyed an entire battalion of marines!?"
The marine replied "No sir, it was a trick. There were two of them.
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