Everyone's got one, so what is your "hands-down" funniest, most entertaining or interesting military story? It could've been from training, a deployment, or even something that helped to break the tension in an operational environment; perhaps a humorous tale stateside, or when working with international partners OCONUS... I know you all have a million of 'em, so here's your chance to share the best-of-the-best of your go-to knee-slappinest or most incredible military-related stories. I've heard some awesome stories over the years, just one easy rule to follow here, try your best to keep it clean, and remember to leave a little 'something' to the imagination! lol I'm certain this'll be an absolute blast folks, so break out that ol' sea bag full o' stories... and dust off your best, 'cause we're all ready for a good belly laugh here! I can't wait to hear these, I know that you all have some gems, so let's get started; thank you for all that you do, and... see you all in the discussion threads!
Edited 6 y ago
Posted >1 y ago
I had taken over my first platoon and returned from my first patrol, on my first deployment to Iraq. We had just switched over from HMMWV's to the MRAP's. I was feeling "super cool" and got a little overzealous in jumping out of my truck (didn't maintain my 3 points of contact). My gear caught on the hydraulic door and I'm only 5'3" so I was way too short to do reach anything to lift myself off. So there I was, hanging by my IBA from the door of my MAXXPRO in front of my platoon. It was reminiscent of the nerd hanging by his underwear from the school locker. My Platoon Sergeant and Warrant Officer had to come lift me off. As they untangled me from the door, all they could say was, "Ma'am... how in the world???" to which I responded, "I have no idea, please don't judge me." It's 6 years later and we still laugh about that whenever we talk.
After about 2 months as a Male Company Commander for a Female Company my ladies knew my routine and the rules of the Barracks. Any man entering the barracks spaces announced himself any time between Reveille and Taps. There were no men allowed between taps and reveille, except the Company Commander, since this was where my office was. Everyone knew I arrived in the morning between 0500 and 0515, without fail.<div><br></div><div>One morning I arrived at 0505 and as I turned into the Main Floor of the BEQ, I heard a shower running and then turn off. As I turned toward my office, one of the young ladies stepped out of the head, totally nude, shower kit in hand, and towel over her shoulder. Both of us stopped dead in our tracks. I saw a very young, well built 20 tear old and realized there could be a problem. She looked at me and realized that she had made a mistake.</div><div><br></div><div>Being a man as well as her CompanY Commander, I looked in her eyes. Then I looked all the way down to her feet and back to her eyes. Finally, I broke the silence and said, "Sailor, where the hell are your shower shoes?" </div><div><br></div><div>With that she did a full body blush, turned, and ran to her room. I never had any problems when I went to work after that.</div>
<div>Army maneuvers, which simulate real war, have given rise to many humorous stories. During maneuvers in Louisiana in 1941, an umpire decided that the enemy had blown up a bridge and flagged it accordingly. Hence- forth, men and vehicles were not to use it.</div><div><br></div><div>A short time later, an Engineer lieutenant came up with his platoon, looked at the flag, scratched his head, and then began marching his men across. Hey,” yelled the umpire, “can’t you see that bridge is out? .” “Sure,” the lieutenant answered, “I can see the bridge is out. Can’t you see we’re swimming?”</div><div><br></div><div>[ Source: Adapted from Dwight D. Eisenhower, At Ease: Stories I Tell to Friends (New York: Doublday & Company, Inc., 1967), 243 - 44.]</div>
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