What's your best shamming tactic?

The Sham Wow thread.

When I was in refit assist on the USS Lousisian, I would go straight to the paint locker, get two things of paint and tell the other crews LPO that I was gonna go paint some random area. I would quickly paint anything that matched the colors I had, go sit in the smoke pit for half and hour then tell him I needed to get more paint. I would go to the paint locker, drop off my buckets and then head on home. I would usually be home before 1000. Worked every time.

Was a corpsman Ambulance driver in El Paso. Every time the did a live fire out on the ranges they had to have a medic on standby. I volunteered for all of them spent most of 2 years sleeping in my ambulance.

I was a cook. We work 0500-1400 or 1100-1900. I would skip pt or motor maintenence by saying I was working the morning shift but I actually work the afternoon shift. Sleep till I actually have to go in. If we had afternoon formation or meetings, I would be on shift when actually I already worked mornings and was off. The company never looks for the cooks cause we always in the dfac.

When I was a lowly supply puppy, I always carried a clipboard whenever I left the confines of my Armsroom. It wasn't blank, but had my cyclic checklist on it (or at least a blank one that was half filled out). It didn't matter where I was going or what I was doing, but one look at the checklist and people usually turned the other way (mostly because they forgot their weapons cards or were too busy to answer questions). This even included the First Sergeant, who only stopped me once and got queried for his rifle card... he never stopped me again.

When I became a supply daddy, I shammed by staying in the Supply Cave. People only ventured in when they wanted something and I had three minions to boss around while I looked important and drank coffee. :P In truth, I was always right on schedule by the skin of my teeth for the supply paperwork and reports.

Surprised no one this yet
never did it myself but watched it done many times mostly in line units
be the kiss butt board soldier, as soon as Top hears you want to go to a soldier of the month you're done working
these guys always hung around Top and the E-7s , get time off to study or get the uniform ready, can't pull CQ the board is in 2 days
get released to get a fresh haircut or go to the gym
and as soon as the board for May is over you got to get ready for the June board

When i was a medic assigned to an infantry platoon, I would tell them I was doing sick call with the aid station, and tell the aid station I was doing PT with the infantry. Then I went to my room to jerk it.

Slow times at the motor pool would find me under the M-35 with a box wrench that fit a convenient nut. It's easy to nap with one arm in the air, with your sleeve around that wrench.

Wall around the motor pool with a tool or a truck part or walk around with a folder, used to play a lot of call of duty at work especially since our unit didn't have any work at fort Polk.

Walk around with a "tag out" in hand looking for people to sign... worked two ways:
1) you were busy doing maintenance on something
2) no sailor who knows, would want to take the time out of their day to check your work and be your verification (second check) signature.
I got a LOT of "carry on" as a result...

Also knew a PO who was our valve maintenance guru... found out he was packing the gear bag with his change of clothes, would leave base early morning and come back before end of day... he got caught coming back a few times and always had dental or doctors appointments... did well for a few months until "Field day Friday" when CO wanted 100% accountability...