What's your funniest "The Military Just Came Out Of Me" moment in the workplace?

I used to bark at the start of my shift at a distribution center. Startled a few people. I had just returned from Iraq. I started doing it to annoy the managers. However, a couple of co-workers (one was a former Navy guy) thought it was cool and started barking also. According to my former co-workers, the tradition continues.

When my security clearance came up for renewal, the legal department wouldn't allow the co-workers to be interviewed due to privacy/legal issues. I paid a visit to Corporate and asked to see the Vice President of Human Resources, the Vice President of the Legal Department or their designated representative. I was ready to stand on someone's desk. The issue was addressed and resolved by one of the assistants. Didn't get to the VPs.

When I redeployed from Afghanistan our unit couldn't leave from Fort Bragg due to some kind of paperwork issue. Finally, I called one of my Senators and talked to his assistant. We were on a plane the next day.

When I was interviewing for my current job in IT I was asked to explain a specific process as if I was walking a technology illiterate person through it over the phone. I started with "Let me break this down Barney style for you" without thinking. Got the job still here 5 years later.

In my job I work with and for veterans. My work is primarily with homeless veterans or veterans in imminent danger of becoming homeless. Until he retired earlier this year, my partner was a retired Gunny. We had a Marine vet come into the office and he was not being truthful and also belligerent. We tried to maintain office decorum, but this guy was just not getting it. All of a sudden the Bulldog Marine came out of Gunny and I followed suit. We read this guy the riot act as though he was in Basic. We intimidated him to the point that he was calling us both Sir. He even tried to salute as he left the office, but was told that wasn't proper because we worked for a living. Apparently this is what he needed because he turned out to be a successful engagement. He got a job and we found him a permanent residence and he went on to obtain his college diploma. Sometimes in this job Tough Love is called for.

The funny part to us was that the rest of the office heard us through the conference room door. We share an office with Human Services, which is primarily staffed with females. They informed us that we had them sitting up straight at their desks. It was the joke of the office for months.

Luckily and thankfully after 30 yrs of service, USMC, and proper financial planning I don't have to work for a living. I realized very soon after I retired (2016) that I was not going to be able to function in the civilian work environment. Every do often though, I have to bite my lip and walk away when dealing with people out here.

Just last week at work, actually! 15 years after being discharged, I still instinctively came to attention and saluted when the day manager was handing the keys to the night manager at my Sam’s Club. Something about the way they were standing and doing the exchange must’ve triggered my change of command muscle memory. At least a few people waiting in line at the cash registers got a laugh.

About a month after ending active duty in the Marine Corps, I was working a new job. They were doing an efficiency study and had small worksheets to complete after each case (I was working as an orderly in an OR). I was astonished and admitted so to the room when they later told us that the study was invalidated because not enough people completed the forms. I stared at my coworkers and said, “how could you not complete the surveys?” It didn’t occur to me that they didn’t consider this request an order. I though all “requests” were “orders.”

As a civilian working for the Navy, there was a Navy reserve Captain that tried to use his rank to order one of my Engineer coworkers. Well I changed the name tag on my cubicle to Capt (large letters) USAF, Ret) (small letters). I got a lot of laughs .

I was working in a wood furniture building shop. At the end of the day I started sweeping up. I was getting the dust off all the the horizontal surfaces and doing a field day like I learned in the Navy. The boss stopped me and told me we only do the nooks and cranies once a week or so. But by the time he stopped me I was practically done. I could have had that place ship shape in less than a week given a chance.

I will preface this with the fact that I was 44 at the time and dealing with a group of 18 to 21 year old "kids".
I was conducting the first day of training for a group of new hires at a call center I worked for that shall remain nameless. I could not get them to quiet down so we could get the second half of the day started. Without realizing it, I shouted, "AT EASE!" I have never seen that degree of fear in peoples' eyes before and I bust out laughing

was on a civilian job site and the duct work was only about 14" off the roof. me being the older guy and weighing almost 2x that of my partner i told him you go up and work the top of the wall we were building. a little bit later the boss came around and this guy starts complaining , this area is really tight how am I supposed to get in to do the job correctly . the boss tells him well if i was you i would put your partner up there and let him deal with it. i looked at the boss and said " in my years of working construction i have seen and heard many stupid things but have never heard anything that stupid , go apologize to the plants for the oxygen you just wasted." i then looked at my partner and told him to quit whining and get back to work cause the less time he spent whining and actually working the quicker the job would get done. 20 minutes later the boss came back with my pay check. said i was dis respectful to him