What's your funniest "The Military Just Came Out Of Me" moment in the workplace?

I had been attached as the Regimental Medical Officer Assistant to an Infantry Battalion. On the day in question, I was in the Chief Clerk's office when the Regimental Sergeant Major (RSM) stormed in, saying to the Chief, "I'm doing Sergeant So-n-so's confidential. What can't I write"? The Chief outlined what should not be said, and the RSM, with a "humph," stormed back to his office, slamming his door in the process. It could not have been two minutes before he returned, and threw a Confidential document on the Chief's desk, saying, "Write it up, Chief."

What he had written was: "This Provisional SNCO sets himself a low standard and fails to achieve it. By being here, he is depriving some village of an idiot"! Said Sgt. was rapidly reduced to his substantive rank of Cpl.

Got stopped the day I bought this 71 Mercedes 220 four door, four speed sedan, was coming up a ramp to enter the highway and no sooner got in a lane then a bubble gum machine went off in my rear view mirror:) Go through the mundane crap and he asked if I knew how fast I was going? Said could not have been too fast, it was a 4cycliner, 45 year old car, he said 70!! With a smile I said one of us must be smokin?:) He said copy that? And I said air force helicopters? We both started laughing, and I did not get a ticket that day:) Felt good, got a little flashback to training and remembering some buds. At 77, 60 years years since I signed up, after forging my parents signature:) My memory is sometimes less than it was, but that moment made my day:)

I tell the ranking people in this country - citizens (they outrank all civil servants, including anything in any uniform) - that all military despises the people who clothe and feed them and provide them health care, education, and family care - and this thread proves it.

I was getting ready to teach a class with a new to the department nurse, when water started dripping through the lights. I went into barking orders mode. I told her to call the boiler plant to get someone over here stat and so on. She didn't even know what the boiler plant was at that point in her start at the VA Hospital.

I was substitute teaching middle school when 2 students, both bigger than me, were about to come to blows. I bounded across the room at yelled at the top of my lungs, "Stand down! Sit down NOWWW!" They both sat down quick! The rest of the students were sitting there with their mouths dropped open. The door flew open as one of the administrators heard me from two doors down. She asked what happened, but it was like I was in some crazy trance--I just stood there unable to say anything. A student told the administrator for me, the she took them away. I became the substitute teacher you didn't want to mess with, lol!

When I have to instruct or orient new or fellow employees in the urgent care clinic I currently work at, if I must point at something, I use the 'hand blade' gesture. When asked 'Why?', I explain that if you point with one finger, three more are pointing back at you. That confuses people and I do not allow confusion in my clinic.

I was new to working in a MEPS as the IT person for the station. The transportation guy was a Marine veteran who had problems with his voice operating at loud decibels. He was trying to explain the travel rules to some new recruits on their way to wherever they were going. Said recruits were too busy loudly chatting with one another to pay any attention to what the transportation guy was saying. I got annoyed fast. I sounded off with "AT EASE!!!" Then chewed the lot of them out for not shutting their mouths and opening their ears so they could find out what they needed to do to get to their destination without getting lost or missing flights/busses. The MEPS commander told me not to do that again. It's their drill sergeants job to put the fear of God in them, not mine before they even left the MEPS building. He said this trying really hard not to laugh. Transportation guy thanked me for stepping in later in the day when he got the chance.

I was helping a E-0 by housing him till he finished school and then went to basic. He came back and was going Guard and was talking about a girl he liked and I wasn’t paying attention because I didn’t care and or want to hear about teen love until I heard the key words about her finishing high school and I went full military, with knife hand, and put him at parade rest and told him to explain himself. Upon finding out that she was not 18 yet I informed him that he was going to break it off and that if he didn’t I was going to take his ass before his command and inform them about his plans with a minor. Needless to say he was upset but after reflection about it he was thankful because of the trouble he avoided from her.

It was my first event with the HS band students and parents in a purely civilian setting on a Saturday morning, few other military in the area. The Band Director was trying to get the kids to take their assigned seats. Lots of milling around. Suddenly, one parent in a loud and commanding voice started counting down from 10. By 6, everyone was seated and quiet. I asked one student who was that. Answer: that's "Colonel Mom". Turns out she was a retired JAG parent that all the kids called Colonel Mom. Awesome!

I was a flight attendant working a flight with a team of 10-year old soccer players and their chaperones. The boys were running up and down the single aisle like they’d had chocolate milk and donuts for breakfast. As the seatbelt light came on, the announcement was made to “please take your seats“ … The boys did not. I stood at the head of the aisle and in my most commanding voice shouted, “SIT DOWN!” Those kids immediately dropped; their tushes landing on the people in aisle seats as well as in the aisle on the floor as they stared up at me with wide eyes. The other passengers, to include chaperones, looking a little shocked, gave me a sitting ovation. One of my coworkers asked if I was a mom, I said, “Nope! A Sergeant.” It was one of many memorable flights.