What Things Were Difficult to Communicate to Family and Friends About Your Military Service? Login & Share to Win!

The inability to tell them where we were deploying and when we would be able to be in touch again.

endless waiting, no one ever seemed to understand how I could wait for so long

Well, as I was in the Army Security Agency (with a Top Secret Crypto Security Clearance) I was forbidden to tell my family and friends just about anything related to our mission. Even ten years out when my security clearance was downgraded to just a Secret Clearance, I was still required to limit details significantly. This lead one of my uncles to speculate that I must have been a secret spy! Now, after 50 years out, I can finally say whatever I want to whomever I want. The problem is . . . now I just can't remember anything!!! ;-)

For me, the most difficult things to discuss with my family were primarily about my combat deployments.
I served in the Army as an Infantry Combat Medic and deployed to Afghanistan twice. My first deployment was very combat/intelligence gathering driven and we spent a lot of time boots on ground in some of the worst places in RC South. My last deployment was very different for me which made it all the more difficult to explain to my family because it was more centered on enabling and showing the Afghan Soldiers how to fight, communicate, and operate as a successful power after all of the allied forces had completely left. Obviously, several things stood in my way of doing my job to the best of my ability; Trying to train someone that does not speak your language, understand our social cues, or have an education to help better understand what I was doing/saying made my time more exhausting than I imagined. I had missions that were my main focus to being there yet, I also had the mission of training my counterparts to pick up the slack when I left. I truly didn’t feel I was accomplishing this or that things would get better where I was. Now, years later and after the complete removal of allied forces from that portion of the world the people there are still riddled with terrorist killings, actions and demands. I know I did the best I could but, explaining this feeling to my family is something I choose not to do simply because it will cause more suffering/anxiety for them and me than I am willing to give. They love me, support me and are ready for me to tell them everything that happened but, I won’t tell them because I love them. Nobody needs that kind of sad and empty story from me. Thankfully, they have given up with prying me for information and it had become something we just don’t talk about.

Sgt. William F. Bennett, U.S.A.F.
....The bond you form with others in your unit, especially when you are in combat, that's very hard to communicate with people who haven't been where you have.

The bonds that are built and friendships you have with fellow servicemembers even those you don't personally know. I believe that interactions between service members or veterans help them to understand.

I think for any of us from the Vietnam era it was why we chose to stay in and make a career of the military. Unlike today, the military wasn't exactly considered an honorable profession in the 60s and 70s.

My family and civilian friends could never understand why I spent so much time in the field and on alert.

I was in the Navy during the mid-60's when sexual harassment was something never discussed in or out of the service.

The bad parts of serving as a grunt in Viet Nam. I came home in 1970. People in Seatle and Denver treated us like shit. I live near Omaha NE,and people were much nicer and more tolerant. I would share experiences with other combat vets, one my best friend. I didn't talk much to anyone who is not a vet even my wife til years later. Some people treated us like nut cases, baby killers and time bombs ready to go off at any time. I survived OK, have been married for 49 years to the same woman, and haven't had a runaway yet.but still don't talk about some things to any one