What was the most challenging difference in your relationships (romantic or platonic/professional) after you separated from the military?

After I retired I stopped in one of my old neighborhood bars. There were some of the same people, sitting on the same bar stools, telling the same fishing lies. They never changed, I did!

I have just recently figured out that about 47yr's ago in Chu Lai Vietnam a Dear John letter changed my relationships with women forever that day at mail call! All ok though! Still feel and know that I was so lucky to be sent back home to help in whatever way I could! So Blessed To Laughing whenever I can and keep smiling Because whatever happened back then! I know thousands that would love to be writing this right now getting ready to text his daughters that are growing up one that works for me and the other in Australia working and my wife that has gone to work out before going to work with me at our Business! BLESSED!!!! All said and done I am writing a book of my life before Vietnam, During and After! It will help me understand my life even more!!! Sp/5 Cates

Romantic... well, I married a sailor, so there was... understanding... of the military issues. Biggest adjustment was going from being "somebody" to being merely an ... accessory... to somebody.

Work/social.... The "culture" of workplaces are different, even if it is the same profession. Military was "get the job done, even if it's not what you usually do, and then take a break"; the "civilian" settings seemed to be very concerned with "not in my job description" and "it's time for my break" issues more than efficiency in finishing the task at hand. Also, there was more concern re: cost issues (I was a lab tech)-- if tests were not specifically ordered by an MD nor approved by a supervisor-- they were not done; in the same situations, when I was a HM-8507 (lab tech), we routinely did any follow-up testing on "out of range"/abnormal results, and could order tests, for self or others, as well. The other main adjustment needed, was working where a majority of the staff was female; different social dynamics, manners, speech, etc. than the Navy settings, even when interacting with male co-workers.

Nothing really challenging. Retired in 1990, worked for four companies before I completely retired spending 15 years with my last company.

Married 49 years to a wonderful beautiful woman who has made my life extremely happy and even happier now that we can spend every day together.

Things can flip flop. You realize that work is only there to support you and your family with compensation. Limited social activity comes out of work. Civilians also have a what's in it for me mind set. That conflicts with our training and mission focus. Home life is more involved and it's great. Spending quality time with your spouse and kids can't be beat. After all, we work to support them.

In a very general sense, I suffered a real identity crisis that I had read about but never really understood, which seems to particularly effect men in relation to how they identify themselves. As a uniformed service member I felt like I was a member of a privileged club with instant acceptance when going to a new assignment. After separating, I didn't yet feel like a civilian (I still felt a sense of obligation, duty, camaraderie, etc) yet I was keenly aware that I was no longer a soldier, in part how I felt and in part how those in uniform did.

Everything, my wife stayed just long enough to get the educational benefits from VA, (me being 100% disabled) she got a BA in something, tried a few others after the divorce, would you believe that not remembering thier names and much more about her to include the date you was on, at times the one you're on, even who she is could cause a problem. It's true, lol, they do not like it at all. My daughter reminds me about her birthday party that I forgot her name and a few times that I forgot she was my daughter, not much fun there. I have a granddaughter now and she's the best thing, (in my eyes), that I could ever be blessed with. With my physical and memory issues I do not get to spend much time with her like the other grandparents, none at all alone she's to young. I do not hold nagitive feelings against the others (I'm thankful at times they are doing things with her because I can not) for the amount of time they get to spend with her & I live 1.1 miles from them. I learn when the times they come by and I can do things not to waist a second, listening is something I've become good at with her, believe it or not. I take notes so I can read them later, (when I remember & where they are). My condition has changed me like you would not believe, almost like living in a nightmare you can not wake up from. It's not the life I planned trust me at the same time I learn to enjoy things others take for granted, that small things really count and honesty & being true is more important than I ever thought of before im so glad I didn't need to learn this.
Life is enjoyable even in conditions that you're not use to and as long as you are willing, you can live, enjoy things around you. The never give up and get things right attitude I had in the military (friends tell me about) only takes longer by myself but it still works.
So when things do not go the way you want or even plan it's not over. You can live without so much that others think they have to have in their lives every day. My best friend is a Bulldog & I wouldn't have it any other way, dogs are honest, let's you know when they want something, needs something and like you the way you are unconditionally unlike people. To be like them would be great.

One thing I've learned is never feel bad for yourself, (It will never change the situation you are in or make anything better) others have it worse then you. Look at the people that have a body that works, even a minds and memory, but are so unhappy and believe they have to have more then what they can afford, more than what they can take care of and waist so much time getting themselves stuff? Life isn't about me, it's about others and 'time' should be the most important you can give another, so never waist the time your blessed with comparing things to others when you could better yourself or make that person smile in that same time. I hope this helps you understand more about challenge's and the outlook not only for yourself but some you may find helpful if you ever run into someone that just became, is becoming like myself.

Hardest transition for me has been relationships: I was not at all......am still am not... attracted to civilians. If there's another Jarhead in the room, that's where my attention goes. I sometimes wonder if I should seek away to overcome this as my results haven't been the best. Ha!
2nd hardest was professionally: When it comes to being a leader their immediate response is to label me as a "bitch who thinks she owns the place." But once they get finished with their jealous hissy fits they realize I lead by example and will work in any level or capacity to accomplish the mission. When they see the truth? Then their view shifts to one of acceptance and even....dare I say a friendship of sorts. This is always a fun thing for me to witness. However, I don't "fit in" in civilian jobs. Just can't get into the....sitting around wasting time mindset I see too often. I still move with purpose - continually. Guess that's why I can spot another Marine across a crowded room... It's quite nice when we can both stand with our backs to the wall and silently observe. LOL!
In truth transitioning was one of the hardest things I did in life in every aspect. It was a lonely, dark time. And writing this response makes me realize - didn't realize it before - all of my closest friends are Marines. Guess transition never actually happens in totality.

PTSD starts in the White House and then is sent to every soldier in a War or Conflict! Evident from Vietnam, Iraq, Afganistan and Syria! When the Soldier is set up to Loose and the War is Termed Lost! Then All the Soldiers become PTSD recipients thanks to people who are out of the War Zone! So who wants to be associated with a looser NOT YOUR GIRLFRIEND NOT YOUR WIFE NOT YOUR BEST FRIEND NOT ANYONE!!!! So best advise came from my MOTHER! MOVE ON!!!!! Maybe revisit it 40 or 50 years later!!! Sp/5 Cates

My civilian job as a Police Officer had a lot in common with my Military job, standards of uniform, haircuts, shined shoes, teamwork. 90% of the officers were Armed Forces veterans up to and including the Chief of Police. My new girlfriend, whom I ended up marrying had two of Her sisters married to Police officers also and never tired to change what i did for a living. We have now been married over 39 years. while I was in the Police department i was also an IMA in the Air Force Reserve with an active duty USAF unit. That was also in a Law Enforcement position just as I had been on a prior 8 years active duty. I was also equipped with a BS degree in Criminal Justice. My wife supported Me on both the Military and civilian occupation. I didn't find the transition difficult at all.