What Was The Pettiest or Silliest Thing You Saw Someone Consulted For?

Colonel interrogating: “Were you the only one in uniform?” …”Were there family members floating on the Zodiacs?” …”Was everyone consuming alcoholic beverages?” …this was such an embarrassment to the USARNG they shut down the unit and gave everyone a reenlistment code ‘RE-4’ (long form DD214), basically a death sentence for any future service like ‘Misconduct, moral or professional dereliction’.

Being consulted about which way to go because the leader of the group didn't listen to instruction. So the whole group didn't challenge the self elected leader, and just followed along. The person that sought clarity had to get the whole group to turn around. Self elected leader "oh I've done this before I know where to go"...has no idea what he's doing.

I got lost with my squad in the forest… during basic training. I was the leader. They sent a Huey up to search for us, …we had found our way onto a road(!), and into a DFAC. Turns out, they’d given me a map from 1934! Didn’t really match up with the current ‘terrain’.

Walking across the grass. There was a small sign that stated to stay off grass, but this guy didn't see if from the direction he was walking and an upper grade Sargent laid into him for walking on the grass

Ask my friend after six month what he saw in his wife. She was 150 pounds overweight and ugly to boot. He said his first wife cheated on him. He said no way that would happen with this one. A true story.

While sitting in the doctors office one day, I overheard some lady talking to whom I believe was either her husband or boyfriend stating that she thought she was pregnant because she had got a sliver of wood in her finger and knew she needed to be seen for pregnancy because she didn't feel the way it should feel when one gets a sliver. I heard that and tried my absolute hardest not to laugh!

I saw and heard a man (white) ask the doctor if he got a little more suntan, could he pass for being a black man. The doctor laughed and said only if he could punch him in the nose to flatten it. The doctor was black.

Do you use real spit to polish boots?

This falls under the silliest category because it definitely wasn't petty. I was working at the Navy Annex and I started to feel really ill, feeling nauseous and having a pain in my gut. I told my boss I needed to get to the ER and felt I could drive myself to the ER at Ft Belvoir. After an examination and xray, the ER doc informed I had FOS. I asked what that was and he said I was "Full of S....". He made me laugh despite my severe discomfort. Fortunately, he gave me some meds that got things moving again. Glad I consulted a professional!

I got a sunburn one time and had to go before my Ship's Captain (called a Captain's mast) for Destroying Government Property.