What was your experience with relationships or marriage while in the military?

Wow! What a great question. My advice is mutual respect, communication, and remember that you love the other person--even when you disagree, feel hurt or misunderstood, sad, or lonely. A special piece of advice for service members married to another service member. Be mindful that your spouse takes their job and career just as seriously as you take yours. So, don't consider you're wife's military career to be expendable or easily terminated if dual military careers become a challenge. Find a way to make teamwork work for you and work it out, don't demand that she, "Get out of the service."

I do everything the hard way. I met my wife at my first duty station, Fort Irwin CA, while assigned to the OPFOR. 2-3 weeks in the field every month. 11 months of the year. Almost four years solid. Followed that with the Advanced course for six months of which we lived apart for half of it due to her education. Followed by 13 months unaccompanied tour to Korea. If she were not "the one" we would not have made it. Both of us did not fully understand what that commitment was going to be over a two decade career. We at least tried to have the conversation. We were as ready as any couple could be for three deployments, a slew of TDY, and other trappings of military life.

Some of the difficulties you have to mitigate, offset, or at least mutually acknowledge:
- service members will have difficulty spending time on a long courtship. 2-3 years time on station is speeding dating. I saw many couples that struggled with 'getting to know you' friction. They did not get through all that during courtship. They got married in advance of the orders so they could stay together. Advice: make sure they are the "one". Ensure you are open and honest about what the future could hold. Only you and your other can decide on the timing.
- you will be pulling your spouse out of their support system in most cases. Don't know how to get a stain out of carpet? Call Mom. Need a no notice sitter? Call mom. Have a doctor's appointment in the middle of the day? Call mom. advice: actively seek surrogate support systems.
- you may be pulling your spouse away from a degree/credentialing program or emergent career. Advice: carefully weigh the decision to transfer, quit, "take a semester off" etc. weigh all the options with your spouse carefully. At a certain point my wife put all her hopes and goals on hold. Now that I am retired, I am the supporting effort and she is the main effort. Not every couple can do this. Individual results may vary.
-uprooting a family and a household every 2-3 years is hard on families. Literally can't have nice things. Temporary lodging puts strain on families. It is a challenge to focus on the new adventure when you are crammed in a hotel room or camper waiting for quarters, your HHG, and possibly even your car to arrive. School changes are hard, especially like the dreaded "emergency contact" times three when you just got there.
- children and their upbringing will have effects specific to the children and secondary effects on both parents. This is a mile wide and a mile deep and will vary family to family. Advice: talk about it. Get outside help if you are at a loss.
- clearing a set of government quarters will max out people's patience under the best circumstances. Now factor in a new military spouse. It gets hard to control the urge to tell the inspector to go F themselves, especially if they feel attacked about their housekeeping skills or feel like they are being "judged". Advice: SM needs to manage the PCS process so they can help with the quarters clearance.
- financial wellness is critical regardless of your marital status. Advice: agree to a plan, stick to the plan. Deviate by mutual agreement. Discretionary buying cash or credit is a pit. Don't get into it. Save, even if it is $20 a month. Stuff is temporary, bad credit and bankruptcy is 7-10 years, divorce is pretty much forever.
- deployment , outside of the possibility you will be hurt or killed, will simply stress more of what ever else you have going already. Worried about an empty bank account? Is this something your spouse does already? You may want to get to the bottom of that before you're on a DEPORD. Who,you elect as the NOK, SGLI recipient , disposition of effects, and disposition of remains is a hard choice. If you are not picking your spouse, that may be a conversation you have before it is your folks, ex spouse, or whoever you picked for those things duking it out at your funeral.
- every military family will be faced at some point to be or not to be a geo-bachelor. Advice: identify the off ramp before you get into it. Recommend you have the reunification conditions and strategy up front. I have seen people do it for years on end. It can't be fun.

I married on active duty. There were more challenges in my case because the Army really wasn't yet set up to handle male spouses (especially one with a ponytail).

I actually got off active duty and went into the Guard as a compromise. But I still remember the first sergeant giving is a hard time because the headquarters company didn't have 100 percent participation in the NCO Wives Club. Not one to keep my mouth shut, I pointed out my husband had issues with that. Got s bit of applause for that from the other women in formation though.

Funny story aside, you have to respect one another. Its worked for us for over 35 years!