What would make American Legions and Veteran of Foreign War posts more appealing to join for you?

I am currently working within my VFW to change the Old Codger population. It has been a very difficult upstream swim, but with a core of more recent vets who are competent and motivated, a consistent opposition to old ideas is gaining some traction, if by no other reason than wearing them down.
But yes, it's definitely being completely unreceptive to any change in how we have operated over several decades

While in Vietnam in 1966 two of us PFCs were in Siagon with two SMGs who suggested we go to the VFW in Siagon. They were checking memberships at the door and we said we would join. The answer is young guys got was we couldn’t because Vietnam was not a war. Haven’t been back since. I have two friends that are members and they were neither in a combat theater but deployed as part of OIF to Germany to back fill for soldiers who were deployed to the combat theater.

I'm DAV, was in 3 international conflicts, that make me able for all veterans clubs. But is true fact to join local clubs is like the old fellows are like rotary, lions, private country club, shriners the own the pace and to join you must be invited by another old fellow... And then look upon.... So I don't get it. So I don't batter

Reading some of the response and from personal experience, there's a lot of truth there. I've worked with and even started a chapter of an veterans organization once and found it to be a multilayered problem.
- The organizations always want to increase membership, but do little to effectively make it happen.
- Different generations of veterans don't always feel welcome or comfortable with older/younger veterans. This is (in part) why there is an American Legion when, at the time of its creation, there were already several large veterans organizations. You can see that after every major war a new veterans org was founded by those vets.

Personally, I've decided that I will support veteran orgs but doubt that I'll be much involved with participating in their activities.

I agree with your ideas that they should be more family oriented and more active in community events. I would join either organization if they were. Also, if they were helpful in putting in a VA claim and/or advising on VA benefits. Can anyone recommend a good, welcoming post in the Columbia, South Carolina area?

I joined the VFW in 1967, soon after returning from Vietnam and get my separation papers. Went to 4 or 5 meetings and listened to them trying to find ways to separate us from our money. That's all it was.....money, money, money! Someone cursed...money in jar. Someone spoke out of turn...money in jar. Look at the speaker wrong....you get the idea. And that's all I heard. After going to those, I quit. Never heard from them again. They didn't care that I was gone and I've stayed gone for the last 56 years!

When I first joined, I felt special. I was the first Nam vet in that chapter. For the first meeting, that was mentioned numerous times since we were now the future of the VFW. That special feeling didn't last long.

Back in 1970 VFW did not welcome Vietnam Vets. Their ranks were WWII AND Korea vets. I joined with my father a WWII and Korean War vet. Still I felt a chill from them.

Personal opinion here. I think if there was more to do relating to the millennial demographic. Why not have a game console and a couch or two? Heck, have another one for the little ones. Another point, dads today spend significantly more time with their kids when compared to previous generations, according to the CDC - National health Stats Report. So folk's comments about being more family oriented might be spot on.

I had a post commander in the Legion who was drafted and saw combat say that I who volunteered for service but did not see combat was not a real veteran.

Here’s my story. It’s long:

Nearly eight years ago I retired from the U.S. Army. I was already a VFW Life Member. The month I retired I went to the local VFW and asked for an application to transfer from the VFW I had become a member in years ago to this local one. They didn’t have any applications. They gave me a phone number of the membership person. The Vets in the room, which was a combination bar - restaurant - pool hall, were all older than me (and I’m almost 50), and I got derisive looks and even some literal “hmph”s as I said hello to people in the room. It was a jarringly negative experience.

I called the number and left messages for about two months. Didn’t get any response ant all. Forgot about it.

Two years later I was passing by that VFW. I stopped in and asked for an app. They gave me one, I filled it out right there and tried to give it back to the bartender, who had given it to me. I was told that the person to give it to wasn’t around. I told the bartender to give it to the person whenever they got back. I actually heard one of the people there say “I don’t know why he’d bother” in a rude tone. I left and forgot about it.

Two years later (I wish I was kidding) I found this VFW’s Facebook page, and sent them a message asking how to join. I got a message that said “just come down and fill out an application!” In the interest of due diligence I drove over right then and asked for another app. I was told that the membership person was on vacation. I told them I had just spoken with someone FROM THIS POST online. They said that they didn’t know who that could be, and to come back in two weeks. When I took a seat at the bar the person sitting next to me said “do you have a membership here?” I told him I was a VFW Life Member and had been for years. He said “But if you don’t have a membership HERE you can’t just stay here.” I told him “that’s not how VFW Memberships work buddy. If you’re a member you’re a member everywhere, it’s not like the YMCA.” He turned around and actually started asking other people “Did you hear that? He says he can just come in here whenever he wants!” Other people started grumbling about it. I stood up and left. Obviously NOT a good experience.

About six months ago I was driving by there again (it’s very close to my house) and I had the urge to stop so I did. I walked in and asked if there were any Officers I could speak to. Nope. So I told the (different) bartender that I was a Life Member, and that I had wanted to transfer from my old Post but I had had some negative experiences with local VFWs. And I told her about what had happened the last time I was in THIS VFW, without telling her that it was this VFW. Her response was “yeah, that happens sometimes. But I can tell you no one HERE would ever treat you like that.” I left after filling out ANOTHER app, not because I thought that anyone would get back to me but because I wanted to waste their paper.

It’s an insane way to conduct business but it’s FAR from the only Post in which I’ve had this type of thing happen. I drove across the country once and stopped in VFWs in eight States along the way. I was asked for my membership card in all but one of them. No problem. I showed my membership card on my phone from the VFW website and was told that wasn’t good enough in three of them. And in one of them I was told that I had to leave because there was no service and I couldn’t pull up my card though I had my Military ID on me. And in more than a few of the eight I felt like I was being given the cold shoulder because I was not from that Post.

I recently read a book about the history of the Knights Templar. Near the conclusion the author explained that after their primary mission had disappeared (defending the Christian-held parts of the Holy Land and protecting pilgrims), there were repeated attempts to combine the Templars with the Hospitallers, attempts that both groups fought against though it would have been beneficial to both and probably would have saved the Templar Order from its eventual collapse. I feel that the VFW and American Legion are in a similar situation. Their combined numbers, financial and political influence would be amazing. But they both actively fight against this to their detriment. And like the Templars it will lead to at least the VFW’s end of not the end of both organizations.

TLDR; If VFWs continue to treat their Posts like shrines to WWII, the Korean War and the Vietnam War and continue to fight like Hell to keep new people from coming in, then I expect in a handful of years or so my Life Membership card will just be a nice thing to look at in a memory box and remember when the VFW still existed.