Posted on Jun 25, 2021
When an E-4 calls me "hey" or "hey man" knowing that I am an officer, should I bother to correct him?
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This SPC calls me "hey man" outside work. I don't work with him directly; just happened to come across couple of times at work, and he did call me "sir". Not sure whether I should even bother to correct this SPC.
Posted in these groups: 
Customs and Courtesies
Customs and Courtesies
Edited >1 y ago
Posted >1 y ago
Responses: 935
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If he doesn't work for you and you aren't even at work, don't bother to correct him. Don't be "that guy". Honestly, this sounds like a question a 2nd Lt or an ensign would ask. Don't try to be captain America outside of work when people are just being people. There's no need to throw rank down people's throats all the time, especially when you're not even working. I can understand if you were an admiral or something important, but as I said, this sounds like an 0-1 asking. And honestly, you should probably worry more about how you address NCO's outside of work than how an E-4 addresses you.
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If you don’t correct him he will only get worse. He needs to be put in his place and understand his role.
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This should be dealt with tactfully and on the spot with demonstrable’ resolve. Our military survives through it customs and courtesies and those who fail to uphold them need to be taken to task. Our leadership is already failing us as they cater to political ambitions so we need the NCO corps to take charge of OUR military!
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Yes Sir you should correct him. There's truth to the old say, "Familiarity breeds contempt" and it's in keeping with Good Order and Discipline. I was Navy, assigned to Marine units for half my career so my experience may be slightly different. Even outside work hours though my Sailors addressed me as "Senior" Marines usually addressed me as Doc, which I knew was (still is) a sign of respect. But yes, please Sir, by all means correct him. "Hey dude" does not cut it.
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I was never much on RHIP, but this falls into a class of total disrespect, and you have to step up and correct the problem
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Extra Military Instruction. Have said SPC give training to the rest of the division on military customs, courtesies, and traditions.
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Suspended Profile
That is easily one of the best solutions I've seen on this thread!!!!! It's succinct. It covers all the bases. It gets the point across. It acts as a corrective reminder. It avoids any official paperwork that might damage a career. It quite possibly avoids any animosity. It avoids humiliating the Soldier in public. You can even make up any excuse you like for giving him the extra duty, (eg: "I need someone to teach a class and you strike me as the best candidate for the job." or, "I need someone to teach a class, and your C.O. / NCOIC referred me to you."). Hell, I'd even venture to say that it's an elegant solution.
But I also agree with other posters on this thread who are completely baffled as to why a CAPTAIN doesn't ALREADY know how to handle this situation. If the officer in question was a butter bar Lt. fresh out of his MOS school, then, maybe, it could be understandable that he would wonder about the best way to handle this. But we're talking about someone who's been in long enough to have been promoted a couple of times. He should INSTINCTIVELY KNOW, how to handle this by the time he's a Captain. So many of us question his ability to command. But, also, as many others have noted, woke ideology is the modus operandi these days. We don't dare traumatize the young people in this country any more by holding them to certain standards, or chewing them out. Hell, my sister went completely psycho on me a couple of years ago for simply using a voice of authority with my nephew....for fear that I might traumatize him. And it was a very similar situation to the one this thread is about. I shudder to think what it will be like for my nephew when he graduates high school, and gets out in the world, and runs into someone who couldn't care less about his feelings. He quite possibly might wind up needing therapy from the event. But respect is also something that is becoming a thing of the past in our society these days. The word "tradition" has become an evil word.....and the list goes on for some considerable length. .............sigh.........................
But I also agree with other posters on this thread who are completely baffled as to why a CAPTAIN doesn't ALREADY know how to handle this situation. If the officer in question was a butter bar Lt. fresh out of his MOS school, then, maybe, it could be understandable that he would wonder about the best way to handle this. But we're talking about someone who's been in long enough to have been promoted a couple of times. He should INSTINCTIVELY KNOW, how to handle this by the time he's a Captain. So many of us question his ability to command. But, also, as many others have noted, woke ideology is the modus operandi these days. We don't dare traumatize the young people in this country any more by holding them to certain standards, or chewing them out. Hell, my sister went completely psycho on me a couple of years ago for simply using a voice of authority with my nephew....for fear that I might traumatize him. And it was a very similar situation to the one this thread is about. I shudder to think what it will be like for my nephew when he graduates high school, and gets out in the world, and runs into someone who couldn't care less about his feelings. He quite possibly might wind up needing therapy from the event. But respect is also something that is becoming a thing of the past in our society these days. The word "tradition" has become an evil word.....and the list goes on for some considerable length. .............sigh.........................
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Hell Yes You Should. If it were me he was talking to, I would have given him a Vertical Butt Stroke!!!. And Yes, that's how most of us Marine Corps Gunnery Sergeants would react!!! OOHRAH and Semper Fi.
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Wow. Captain, I read a lot of answers in this thread from some guys who have a lot more time than I did and the answer I was thinking was obvious was that:
A) If you bust his chops at the gym, Olive Garden (WTF said that BTW? That's funny stuff!) or wherever off duty, you just look like a douche, even though you are dead right.
B) Go see him or his 1st Sgt (we Marines would find the Gunny) and have him find out why he thinks you guys are pals. This kills two birds with the same stone by letting both know your expectation so that the expectation goes unit wide. It's enlisted business, which is square in the 1st Sgt's wheelhouse IMO. I was never a Captain, but it seems to me Captains should not be so myopic about every little detail, just the important ones. In other words, do you have a general expectation that unit members will adhere to customs and courtesies of the U.S. armed forces? Or do you have an obsession with making sure every 2nd Lt gets a salute?
C) Apply Hanlon's Razor.
D) I work with a lot of Army vets and aside from some uniform things, unit missions, and most Marines having a cult-like relationship with our Corps, we are much more alike than different. I was always told that if you had to remind people you were in charge, you probably weren't in charge. Stick with Captain stuff, sir. Let your Top handle the enlisted stuff.
A) If you bust his chops at the gym, Olive Garden (WTF said that BTW? That's funny stuff!) or wherever off duty, you just look like a douche, even though you are dead right.
B) Go see him or his 1st Sgt (we Marines would find the Gunny) and have him find out why he thinks you guys are pals. This kills two birds with the same stone by letting both know your expectation so that the expectation goes unit wide. It's enlisted business, which is square in the 1st Sgt's wheelhouse IMO. I was never a Captain, but it seems to me Captains should not be so myopic about every little detail, just the important ones. In other words, do you have a general expectation that unit members will adhere to customs and courtesies of the U.S. armed forces? Or do you have an obsession with making sure every 2nd Lt gets a salute?
C) Apply Hanlon's Razor.
D) I work with a lot of Army vets and aside from some uniform things, unit missions, and most Marines having a cult-like relationship with our Corps, we are much more alike than different. I was always told that if you had to remind people you were in charge, you probably weren't in charge. Stick with Captain stuff, sir. Let your Top handle the enlisted stuff.
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