Posted on Jun 25, 2021
When an E-4 calls me "hey" or "hey man" knowing that I am an officer, should I bother to correct him?
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This SPC calls me "hey man" outside work. I don't work with him directly; just happened to come across couple of times at work, and he did call me "sir". Not sure whether I should even bother to correct this SPC.
Posted in these groups: 
Customs and Courtesies
Customs and Courtesies
Edited >1 y ago
Posted >1 y ago
Responses: 935
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Familiarity is acceptable in the civilian sector, not in the military. If you are both active duty, then, correct him.
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"outside of work" - interesting, never knew that existed. Of course you should correct him. You don't have to be an asshole about it but politely and professionally remind the E-4 that we all respect each other's rank and you expect to see that from him in the future.
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COL Larry Crockett
SSgt Joseph Baptist - The meaning being you always are your rank. Especially if the individual service members know each other. Respect is always shown.
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COL Larry Crockett
Wow! Ok - but by the way I was drafted in 1969 and started out as a Pvt E1. Thank you for your thoughtful response.
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I don't know how long ago this took place or if it's just a hypothetical question. I can only speak from my experience from 1963-1972 and most of that time in the Infantry or an Infantry Headquarters, it wouldn't happen. I can’t even imagine what would have happened to anyone who was that disrespectful of any officer
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SGT (Join to see)
I have said the same. Even if an officer asked me to call him/her by first name, I would still call that officer sir/ma'am. Anything else is fraternization. When I first joined RallyPoint, I had a hard time. However, we are civilians now. I still try to address active duty personnel with all due respect.
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I don't know when you began serving, but I entered on Oct. 19,1978 and my drill sergeants were soon to be retired. We were taught every greeting for every rank and the respective people and there was no deviation from the standards! Of course he needs to be corrected or taken back to the beginning!
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SSG Robert Velasco
I neglected to mention most of the drill sergeants were Vietnam veterans! They didn't pussyfoot around!
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If you allow professional status members of inferior rank address you (a commissioned officer) in familiar terms, you (the commissioned officer) is engaging in FRATERNIZATION, and can become subject to dismissal from the Armed Forces.
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SGT (Join to see)
Thank you, sir! There seems to be a lot of answers on this post that encourage familiarity. While on active duty, no officer was my "friend", and no enlisted man/woman was my friend. As you said, anything less is fraternization. LtCol Paul Bowen
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LtCol Paul Bowen
SGT (Join to see)
Hello Sgt Reynolds,
I was a “Legal Officer” for a 900 member maintenance squadron at MCAS Beaufort, SC from AUG 1984 to JUN 1985. The billet was assigned to pilots and flight officers in MAG-31.
It was a busy assignment for me. I attended NAVAL JUSTICE SCHOOL in DEC 1984. I had oversight over 125 Article 15 Hearings, three Special Courts Martial, and 20 Administrative Separations where only one package failed to separate the individual…he just needed a couple more infractions to be “ripe for picking”.
70% of my workload were drug & alcohol incidents. The remainder can be characterized as personality disorders.
One case that I was not directly responsible for initiating or seeing through to completion was for an officer who had lured civilian women into his house to be photographed (ostensibly) for a sports outdoor magazine in women’s swimwear, but in reality he surreptitiously filmed them changing their clothes in his master bedroom that connected to his swimming pool by sliding glass door.
Two women discovered the VHS camera in the closet, removed the trade, and filed a complaint with civil legal authorities.
The civil charges were dropped (probably to avoid viewing evidence as a public record in a very small Southern Community within BEAUFORT, SC.
However the Marine Corps senior headquarters in Norfolk, VA (MARFORLANT) got wind of the incident and investigated further. The question they were answering is whether or not this officer, who was a Major/O-4 in an F-4 squadron leadership position, and selected for promotion for LtCol/O-5. We were looking at a 15+ year membership in the Marines (plus four years at the Naval Academy). The question is the deal breaker for those people interviewed in the background investigations for officer candidates, “Would you want your son or daughter to serve under this individual during time of war?”
So the civil arrest had pushed this guy up and out of the weeds as a moral leadership exception from within the Marine Corps “Officer Corps”.
Three Marine Corps colonels descended onto MCAS BEAUFORT, SC. The squadron was in a work up cycle to deploy to WESTPAC for six months.
Besides the obvious moral turpitude that ensnared himself, there were over 116 VHS video tapes confiscated from his house with other overseas and CONUS escapades. This guy hosted a lot of pool parties and there had been more extracurricular activity in the bedroom besides women changing their clothes.
That put a buzzkill on other guilty parties that may or may not have been filmed in extramarital acts.
The element that developed into the strongest grounds to administrative dismissal was the “Pattern of Fraternization” between this USMC Major, and the company grade officers in the squadron. F-4 squadron manpower for commissioned officers was about 38 aircrew and four or five None Flying Billets.
All of your captains and lieutenants talked up what a “great guy” and “party animal “ that the Squadron OpsO was.
At MARFORLANT the Three Star Commanding General did not have to think it over to recommend “Administrative Dismissal” from the Marines. It was not an adversarial vendetta, simply a form of purification ritual for the good of the Corps.
I was in my billet as Squadron Legal Officer when this Officer requested “Mast” with the SECNAV before he disappeared in a whimper, and not a “bang”.
Hello Sgt Reynolds,
I was a “Legal Officer” for a 900 member maintenance squadron at MCAS Beaufort, SC from AUG 1984 to JUN 1985. The billet was assigned to pilots and flight officers in MAG-31.
It was a busy assignment for me. I attended NAVAL JUSTICE SCHOOL in DEC 1984. I had oversight over 125 Article 15 Hearings, three Special Courts Martial, and 20 Administrative Separations where only one package failed to separate the individual…he just needed a couple more infractions to be “ripe for picking”.
70% of my workload were drug & alcohol incidents. The remainder can be characterized as personality disorders.
One case that I was not directly responsible for initiating or seeing through to completion was for an officer who had lured civilian women into his house to be photographed (ostensibly) for a sports outdoor magazine in women’s swimwear, but in reality he surreptitiously filmed them changing their clothes in his master bedroom that connected to his swimming pool by sliding glass door.
Two women discovered the VHS camera in the closet, removed the trade, and filed a complaint with civil legal authorities.
The civil charges were dropped (probably to avoid viewing evidence as a public record in a very small Southern Community within BEAUFORT, SC.
However the Marine Corps senior headquarters in Norfolk, VA (MARFORLANT) got wind of the incident and investigated further. The question they were answering is whether or not this officer, who was a Major/O-4 in an F-4 squadron leadership position, and selected for promotion for LtCol/O-5. We were looking at a 15+ year membership in the Marines (plus four years at the Naval Academy). The question is the deal breaker for those people interviewed in the background investigations for officer candidates, “Would you want your son or daughter to serve under this individual during time of war?”
So the civil arrest had pushed this guy up and out of the weeds as a moral leadership exception from within the Marine Corps “Officer Corps”.
Three Marine Corps colonels descended onto MCAS BEAUFORT, SC. The squadron was in a work up cycle to deploy to WESTPAC for six months.
Besides the obvious moral turpitude that ensnared himself, there were over 116 VHS video tapes confiscated from his house with other overseas and CONUS escapades. This guy hosted a lot of pool parties and there had been more extracurricular activity in the bedroom besides women changing their clothes.
That put a buzzkill on other guilty parties that may or may not have been filmed in extramarital acts.
The element that developed into the strongest grounds to administrative dismissal was the “Pattern of Fraternization” between this USMC Major, and the company grade officers in the squadron. F-4 squadron manpower for commissioned officers was about 38 aircrew and four or five None Flying Billets.
All of your captains and lieutenants talked up what a “great guy” and “party animal “ that the Squadron OpsO was.
At MARFORLANT the Three Star Commanding General did not have to think it over to recommend “Administrative Dismissal” from the Marines. It was not an adversarial vendetta, simply a form of purification ritual for the good of the Corps.
I was in my billet as Squadron Legal Officer when this Officer requested “Mast” with the SECNAV before he disappeared in a whimper, and not a “bang”.
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You just opened up every Lieutenant (O1 or O2) to this Specialists disrespect. And his response when they stand him up for it will be, "Well, 1LT Soandso doesn't have problem with it." Which will dig him an even deeper hole. AND he will tell all of his other barracks lawyer friends that they don't have to respect LTs when off duty...which is not a thing (while working for the US Military you are never truly off duty).
It is hard enough being a Lieutenant at your first duty station, don't make it any harder. An wise Colonel told us in ROTC in 1977 that it is easier to come in strict and set that example THEN relax just a bit, IF WARRANTED. Soldiers respect leaders when they understand the boundaries are clear and firm.
It is hard enough being a Lieutenant at your first duty station, don't make it any harder. An wise Colonel told us in ROTC in 1977 that it is easier to come in strict and set that example THEN relax just a bit, IF WARRANTED. Soldiers respect leaders when they understand the boundaries are clear and firm.
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Definitely correct him, you don't have to mean about it, but correct him. I still call officers and senior NCOs I have served under by their rank, it doesn't diminish me in any way. Today's young people are not always taught respect, but they should be. Just my two cents.
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I would never tolerate such a thing. You are an officer 24/7. He's a soldier 24/7. I'm assuming you are on active duty.
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Darn right you should. But for peets sake why would you even need to ask this question.
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