Posted on Oct 8, 2015
When you joined the military, were you a "loner"?
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Posted 10 y ago
Responses: 9
Hmmm. Didn't start out that way but wound up being a loner for a bit. I hit my first tin can out of A school and after the perfunctory 30 days in the scullery where everyone ignored you, I turned to. There were only two of us qualified for Electronic Warfare so we stood port/starboard and were alone. It got pretty intense off 'Nam and we couldn't be distracted. The crew knew it and left us alone. Then we had to PM our gear which was S/TS and we were the only ones allowed in those spaces. Then since nobody knew what you really did, they'd ignore you. Our division chief was pretty much our only pipeline. I didn't have time to strike up relationships as we died in our racks briefly twice a day. Funny thing, when we returned to home port, some of the crew asked if I just reported aboard. That all unraveled the day I splashed a Styx off the starboard quarter and became everyone's best friend. Had the golden voice on the course change to the bridge and the golden hand on the chaff launch button that day. My reward was less sleep as the Skipper insisted I sit the EW watch on close shoots regardless of rotation. Ugh!
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SPC Margaret Higgins
Yours is quite a story; CAPT Kevin B.. Thank you for sharing it.
And THANK YOU FOR YOUR SERVICE AND YOUR SACRIFICES.
And THANK YOU FOR YOUR SERVICE AND YOUR SACRIFICES.
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Yes, Ma'am- took along time to bond- especially since I enlisted as an E3, and had a ton of prior SVN folks with me who were now E2/E3, from being shake and bake E5/E6.
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SPC Margaret Higgins
SGM Bill Frazer: CONGRATULATIONS ON MAKING SERGEANT MAJOR; AFTER ENLISTING AS A PRIVATE FIRST CLASS!
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Yes I was, and for that matter still prefer my own company a lot of the time. There were times during my service when taking a mental hygiene break was just not an option. That said, the most important thing I learned in the military was how to get along with people I did not particularly care for for a greater organizational good.
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Yep, still am too. I have always been a part of very small groups of friends, usually groups that don't pay much attention to any of the others. In high school I hung out with less than 10 people regularly. In Basic Training I had 4 or 5 decent friends who all happened to be Guard from the same base in Michigan. Tech School I only really did anything with some of my classmates and a couple of others who lived in the same hall as me. At Scott my friends were the ones from Tech that got sent there too. Here at Whiteman I have been invited to different social activities but have pretty much stuck to myself. I keep regular communication with friends from back home and that's about it.
It isn't the most fun sometimes but I have grown used to it. It has helped me realize just who my true friends are and it's kept me out of trouble and drama for the most part and that suits me just fine.
It isn't the most fun sometimes but I have grown used to it. It has helped me realize just who my true friends are and it's kept me out of trouble and drama for the most part and that suits me just fine.
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I am a loner. I don't relate well with most other servicemembers so I go about doing my own thing most the time. Now, when it comes to actual military actions, evolutions, transitions, what have ya, I'm a great team player. I'm a good follower, a decent leader and a great communicator. But when it's all said and done, say after hours or off the job, I typically keep to myself. Simply because, again, I can't really relate with anyone.
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SPC Margaret Higgins
My thought, PO2 (Join to see), was that: maybe you feel that you can do things better and faster than others?
I am so sorry that you feel that you can't relate to anyone. You can always come on Rally Point, and message one of us; your concerns. We'd be happy to help you.
I am so sorry that you feel that you can't relate to anyone. You can always come on Rally Point, and message one of us; your concerns. We'd be happy to help you.
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PO2 (Join to see)
SPC Margaret Higgins - No, not at all ma'am. In fact, if anything, I feel my work is subpar to everyone else's which I suppose could work in the same way.
Thank you, I greatly appreciate the words and sympathies. I guess that's just the kind of thing that happens when you can't help but think that everyone around you just doesn't quite think the way you do. It was pretty lonely at this command before my wife was able to come down here with me.
Thank you, I greatly appreciate the words and sympathies. I guess that's just the kind of thing that happens when you can't help but think that everyone around you just doesn't quite think the way you do. It was pretty lonely at this command before my wife was able to come down here with me.
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SPC Margaret Higgins
I am EVER SO GLAD that your WIFE is with you now; PO2 (Join to see).
And, what I would suggest, PO2 (Join to see), is that you ask around*. I don't think that you will find that people think That differently from you. Especially in the military community. This is only a suggestion*.
When I was exceedingly shy-and a loner-and had been for years and years, I asked my doctor: "What do people talk about?" His response was: "Anything."
And, what I would suggest, PO2 (Join to see), is that you ask around*. I don't think that you will find that people think That differently from you. Especially in the military community. This is only a suggestion*.
When I was exceedingly shy-and a loner-and had been for years and years, I asked my doctor: "What do people talk about?" His response was: "Anything."
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SPC Margaret Higgins
And by the way, PO2 (Join to see), your work is CERTAINLY not subpar to EVERYONE else's. Think of your work as being on a continuum. Your work is better than some, equal to some and worse than some. I haven't seen your work; so I really don't know if it is better, a lot better, outstanding, etc.
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Brand new sailors, et al, who did it "by themselves" did not survive well in the military of my day. It was nigh unto impossible to be a loner. Chiefs would break them as quick as they noticed the slightest hesitation at a team mentality. I believe loners are not and never will be a good fit for the military even today; it goes completely against the very fundamental foundation of the military. Note: that excludes certain types of individuals whose jobs are highly sensitive and extremely classified. They may be few, but they are out there, defying death daily, and performing a service for this nation that very, very few can do, or would.
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