Posted on Jan 9, 2020
Why can’t an enlisted Reservist date or marry an active duty officer if they're not in the same unit or the same branches?
12.5K
45
17
3
3
0
I know the o/e rule but this situation doesn’t affect each other’s career. what would be the problem with this. Reservist are more civilian than soldier???
Posted >1 y ago
Responses: 6
How many different ways are you going to ask this question. It seems you got some really well thought out replies in earlier posts?
(5)
(0)
You're the Reservist, it won't affect your career. The midshipman is the one who will lose everything from the relationship. If they were Army it wouldn't be as much of an issue. But these are the clubhouse rules of the organization they chose to play for
(3)
(0)
SSG (Join to see)
As has been discussed in other threads, started by the OP, the Army allows it, the Navy does not.
(1)
(0)

Suspended Profile
It sucks but that's the way it is. I had a guy I was kind of dating but I had to end things with him. Why? Because I had just sworn in at MEPS and signed a no fraternization policy. He's an officer and we decided it's just best to not risk anything. I'm not trying to ruin the man's career over some puppy love. He's spent the last 14 years building his military career and it's not worth it to ruin it by dating an enlisted. It sucks sometimes but that's the way it is. I would have something to go back to if we were to get in trouble but he wouldn't. His whole life has been military since he got out of high school. That's the same with being a reservist and dating an active duty officer. You have something to fall back on as a reservist. They are active duty and it could destroy their entire career. I would move on. It may suck for a bit but you'll eventually get over it.
The regulation simply states that the relationship must not compropmise the integrity of your command. While I was an active duty E-3, I dated an E-6 national guardsmen on active orders. When I was an E-4 and she was a Warrant Officer, we got married. We ran our relationship up our COCs to be sure everyone was on the same page and no one batted an eyelash. Run it up your chain to cover your six but you will be okay.
(1)
(0)
SGT (Join to see)
LTC Jason Mackay - I read this question as it is: "Enlisted Reservist/Active Duty Officer (of a different branch)". I will have to disagree, however. The Navy's fraternization policy is as follows:
Prohibited relationships include:
"1. Personal relationships between officer and enlisted members which are unduly familiar and do not respect differences in grade or rank.
2. Personal relationships between Chief Petty Officers (E-7 to E-9) and junior personnel (E-1 to E-6), who are assigned to the same command which are unduly familiar and do not respect differences in grade or rank.
3. Personal relationships between officers or between enlisted which are unduly familiar and do not respect differences in grade or rank, such that they are of a nature to bring discredit to the Naval service or are prejudicial to good order.
Unduly familiar relationships as defined create the potential for real or perceived conflicts of interest within the command, and are therefore detrimental to positive morale, unit cohesiveness, and good order and discipline. Fraternization will not be tolerated."
The Navy has simplified this policy and essentially states that if the relationship compromises the integrity of the command, at any capacity, it is considered an "unduly relationship". A relationship between two individuals, from separate branches, components, and commands, would not have the aforementioned effects. The Naval Academy will have their own policy but worst case scenario, they would have to wait until she/he graduates.
Prohibited relationships include:
"1. Personal relationships between officer and enlisted members which are unduly familiar and do not respect differences in grade or rank.
2. Personal relationships between Chief Petty Officers (E-7 to E-9) and junior personnel (E-1 to E-6), who are assigned to the same command which are unduly familiar and do not respect differences in grade or rank.
3. Personal relationships between officers or between enlisted which are unduly familiar and do not respect differences in grade or rank, such that they are of a nature to bring discredit to the Naval service or are prejudicial to good order.
Unduly familiar relationships as defined create the potential for real or perceived conflicts of interest within the command, and are therefore detrimental to positive morale, unit cohesiveness, and good order and discipline. Fraternization will not be tolerated."
The Navy has simplified this policy and essentially states that if the relationship compromises the integrity of the command, at any capacity, it is considered an "unduly relationship". A relationship between two individuals, from separate branches, components, and commands, would not have the aforementioned effects. The Naval Academy will have their own policy but worst case scenario, they would have to wait until she/he graduates.
(1)
(0)
(1)
(0)
SGT (Join to see)
LTC Jason Mackay - "that are unduly familiar and do not respect differences in rank and grade are prohibited and violate long-standing customs and traditions of the U.S. Navy" ... I like the emphasis on 'unduly'. This is all at the discretion of the SM's command. I've seen relationships between Officers and Enlisted of different branches. I advised that the SM and his partner clear the relationship with their command to make sure all the boxes have been checked. I was married to an AGR Warrant Officer and we both had signed memorandums from our commands ensuring that our relationship was not compromising either command. Integrity, discipline, morale, and fairness. As long as those are intact, there won't be an issue.
(1)
(0)
LTC Jason Mackay
SGT (Join to see) - it goes on to enumerate that sexual or romantic relationships are included.
My absolute best advice is for both service members to go to their respective legal assistance office and ask the question. I'm willing to bet you a soda that the Midshipman will get the bad news.
My absolute best advice is for both service members to go to their respective legal assistance office and ask the question. I'm willing to bet you a soda that the Midshipman will get the bad news.
(1)
(0)
Read This Next