Posted on May 18, 2014
Why does the Army discriminate against single soldiers?
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First let me say I am biased in my opinion since I am a single soldier. The Army stacks the deck against single soldiers, in a variety of ways. There are standards that single soldiers are forced to obey that married soldiers are not. Purely just because of their marriage.
Housing is my personal biggest area of concern being a single soldier. I am a 27 yr old college graduate. I get the same "rights" in my living quarters that a single 17/18 yr old straight out of high-school would get. If that same soldier is married, they get considerably more freedom, pay, and budget control than I do.
I as a single soldier get no say in where I live. At my current duty station the BAH for my rank and dependent status (Single, E-4) would be $1,068. So I essentially pay $1,068 dollars a month to live in the barracks. The barracks I live in have two separate bedrooms, with a common kitchen and bathroom area. Since there are two soldiers in each little barracks apartment, we collectively pay $2,136 a month for this set up. That is FAR more then what a similar apartment style would cost in the surrounding communities. If single soldiers were allowed to have BAH and live where they choose we could potentially save several hundred dollars a month by controlling our living expenses. That's not including the approximately $300 a month we are forced to pay for the DFACs.
There is also the issue of furniture in the barracks. Again we have no say, we get whatever the Army already has in the room. Personally I would love to have an actual nice mattress, instead of these cheap plastic blue ones.
Barracks inspections. I can't stand barracks inspections. The inspections are completely up to the person doing them and what they "think" the standard should be. One inspection your could be fine, the next one your getting lectured about how to make a bed. Last summer I had to write a 2 page paper for an LT about personal standards in the barracks. All because my bed didn't have hospital corners. (That morning when I get up I tossed my blanket off to the right of me, where it was just sorta crunched up against the wall running the length of my bed.) If I want to know what I am allowed to have and not have in my room, I have to read three different policy letters to find out. Division could allow something, Brigade could say no, and then Battalion have nothing about it at all. I get that lower commands are allowed to restrict privileges as they see fit. I'm just saying it's cumbersome to have to read three different levels policy to find out what is what.
It annoys me that I have to have periodic inspections(currently every morning before PT for my company) while married soldiers receive no inspections just because they are married. I get that they have a family, I just don't see why that should stop a squad leader from making a planned, announced, and visual walk-through of the house of the married soldier. Keeping the same standard of living as a single soldier should be part of the military life.
Meal Deductions. I don't think the DFACs are worth the $300 a month I have to pay. I hate having to "play" the "I am a Meal Card Holder" card to get lunch sometimes during work. It's usually followed by a married soldier saying "I'm working thru lunch, you don't see me bitching about wanting to leave for food". True. However when we miss our lunch it's gone. The money we paid is gone rather we ate that meal or not. Married people if they bring their lunch it'll still be there later. If they eat out, then well that's just money they didn't spend that day. They can use it tomorrow to get twice as much for lunch or eat somewhere more expensive depending on their budget.
We get no say in what sounds good for dinner. It's whatever the DFAC has. Sometimes that means either fried or grilled chicken. If they run out of one thing, it'll be whatever they have left. It's not right. It leaves married people with control over their diet and single soldiers with whatever the Army needed to clean out of the fridge.
The above is just Big Army things, the discrimination continues all the way down to the company level. At my company single soldiers who live in the barracks are not allowed to park in the lot in front of the company. Now our barracks is approximately 3/4 mile down the road. Our motor pool is another 3/4 mile the other direction. I find it silly that an entire parking lot is reserved for married people. Sure single soldiers can drive to work, but we have to park in the barracks across the street. Which is not the barracks we live in. Married people can't park in that same lot if the one in front of company is full? To a point I can understand the reasoning behind this, but single soldiers have to leave and run here and there just like our married counter-parts. Why should they get special parking treatment? I don't see anyone stopping married people from using the barracks washers and dryers to avoid buying their own/going to coin laundry mats. Why are married people allowed to dip their hands in our honey and slap ours away from theirs?
Like I said from the start I'm biased. I look over the fence and see greener grass. Perhaps this is all just one single soldier bitching and complaining.
_______________________________________________________________________________________
Update FEB 2019: Since I originally posted this message, I have gotten married. My view on the subject has not changed. I want to respond to some of the overarching themes in everyone responses.
“Quit bitching/whining/complaining.” I feel there is a difference between logically laying out issues and grievances and just bitching about them. The number of leaders who contributions on this post/topic amounted to “quit saying words” is disheartening.
“Get married/Army will issue you a wife.” Saying to get married just to move out of the barracks is a failure of leadership. Those of you (in my opinion) with that mentally should reconsider what you do/did and what your job is/was. As a former Infantry NCO I have dealt with the countless issues that arise when a soldier quickly marries someone for the wrong reason (example: get out of the barracks). The domestic issues, spouse calling in to the Staff Duty, soldier isn’t training because of counseling/FAP/court/Divorce related nonsense, greatly diminishes readiness which the last I checked the Army still considers to be pretty important.
“I had more money/I wish I was back in the barracks/ but but bills! etc.” Bull. I wish I could challenge anyone who says that to actually prove it. As stated, I am married now. I have more money, flexibility, and financial freedom then I did as a single E-4. Now some of that is because I’m a higher rank. Part of it is because I use BAH as intended to cover housing/bills, my BAS for food, and having the control over how much I spend on those two items is very important. Also, my spouse works. I have come to realize that is less than common for married soldiers in the Army. However, I would argue that getting married and not having both spouses working is a decision that you made going in to it. I’m not arguing/stating if it’s the right or wrong choice. It’s what you decided worked for ya’ll. To me it’s the equivalent of a private going out and buying that 23% interest Mustang then complaining about how much money it costs and how he used to have it so much better without that car payment. If you choose (by getting married/having kids) to feed/house/care for additional people (spouse/kids) and yet do nothing to increase your income than yeah…you’ll have less money. That is a very poor argument for what the original post was about.
a. Hopefully ^above^ I’ve made my point clear and concise seems a little muddy to me, I guess we shall see in future comments.
“Move off post.” That’s not an option. Well I guess it is, however single soldiers still have to maintain the barracks room they get assigned, they still wouldn’t get the BAH entitlement, and they would have to still pay the DFAC out of their BAS. Do I need to continue on the ignorance of that statement? Sure, there’s a packet you can submit and ask to receive those allowances, I’ve only ever seen get accepted once and that was when my BDE changed from Light to Armored, only for E-5s, and it was suggested only if they were on orders and would be PCS’ing soon anyhow. They wanted non-PCS’ing E-5s still in the barracks. I don’t recall if I stated it in my original post but that unofficial additional duty of being an NCO at the barracks is crap. “You’re an NCO at the barracks keep everyone in line down there after work and on weekends”, thought that’s what CQ was for. I’ll also comment on the “single people off post would party to much/be late to formation/traffic at the gates/ get in trouble in town more” line of nonsense. It’s ignorant. Along with the “paying dues” comments.
Veterans- I appreciate you are still active in the boarder military community, and recognize that your time in the service paved the way for what we did/do/have accomplished today. However, pointing out how things were worse yesterday compared today and to “suck it up” is lazy. There is no reason we can’t keep pointing out things today to make tomorrow even better. I’m sure there is crap I can’t even fathom that ya’ll dealt with back in the 60s, 80s, and what have you that were fixed because of people continuing to bring the issue up.
Lastly, I’ve enjoyed reading the varied amount of responses everyone has on the topic. If mine come off as aggressive or across the line it was not my intention. When I posted the original stuff above 4+ almost 5 years ago I never expected it to get attention and still receive emails notifications years later. I’m fairly sure I’ve read 90% of the comments because Rally Point sends me an email every time someone comments. No I did not add that picture at the top, it’s the website. Sorry if you clicked on a Rally Point ad somewhere that linked to this post only to see it’s from 2014. I don’t control those. It’s the website. Yes I’m sure there are a few grammar and spelling errors. If you point it out at the beginning of a comment, I’m more likely to see it and correct the issue. Cheers to several more years of being told why I’m wrong.
Housing is my personal biggest area of concern being a single soldier. I am a 27 yr old college graduate. I get the same "rights" in my living quarters that a single 17/18 yr old straight out of high-school would get. If that same soldier is married, they get considerably more freedom, pay, and budget control than I do.
I as a single soldier get no say in where I live. At my current duty station the BAH for my rank and dependent status (Single, E-4) would be $1,068. So I essentially pay $1,068 dollars a month to live in the barracks. The barracks I live in have two separate bedrooms, with a common kitchen and bathroom area. Since there are two soldiers in each little barracks apartment, we collectively pay $2,136 a month for this set up. That is FAR more then what a similar apartment style would cost in the surrounding communities. If single soldiers were allowed to have BAH and live where they choose we could potentially save several hundred dollars a month by controlling our living expenses. That's not including the approximately $300 a month we are forced to pay for the DFACs.
There is also the issue of furniture in the barracks. Again we have no say, we get whatever the Army already has in the room. Personally I would love to have an actual nice mattress, instead of these cheap plastic blue ones.
Barracks inspections. I can't stand barracks inspections. The inspections are completely up to the person doing them and what they "think" the standard should be. One inspection your could be fine, the next one your getting lectured about how to make a bed. Last summer I had to write a 2 page paper for an LT about personal standards in the barracks. All because my bed didn't have hospital corners. (That morning when I get up I tossed my blanket off to the right of me, where it was just sorta crunched up against the wall running the length of my bed.) If I want to know what I am allowed to have and not have in my room, I have to read three different policy letters to find out. Division could allow something, Brigade could say no, and then Battalion have nothing about it at all. I get that lower commands are allowed to restrict privileges as they see fit. I'm just saying it's cumbersome to have to read three different levels policy to find out what is what.
It annoys me that I have to have periodic inspections(currently every morning before PT for my company) while married soldiers receive no inspections just because they are married. I get that they have a family, I just don't see why that should stop a squad leader from making a planned, announced, and visual walk-through of the house of the married soldier. Keeping the same standard of living as a single soldier should be part of the military life.
Meal Deductions. I don't think the DFACs are worth the $300 a month I have to pay. I hate having to "play" the "I am a Meal Card Holder" card to get lunch sometimes during work. It's usually followed by a married soldier saying "I'm working thru lunch, you don't see me bitching about wanting to leave for food". True. However when we miss our lunch it's gone. The money we paid is gone rather we ate that meal or not. Married people if they bring their lunch it'll still be there later. If they eat out, then well that's just money they didn't spend that day. They can use it tomorrow to get twice as much for lunch or eat somewhere more expensive depending on their budget.
We get no say in what sounds good for dinner. It's whatever the DFAC has. Sometimes that means either fried or grilled chicken. If they run out of one thing, it'll be whatever they have left. It's not right. It leaves married people with control over their diet and single soldiers with whatever the Army needed to clean out of the fridge.
The above is just Big Army things, the discrimination continues all the way down to the company level. At my company single soldiers who live in the barracks are not allowed to park in the lot in front of the company. Now our barracks is approximately 3/4 mile down the road. Our motor pool is another 3/4 mile the other direction. I find it silly that an entire parking lot is reserved for married people. Sure single soldiers can drive to work, but we have to park in the barracks across the street. Which is not the barracks we live in. Married people can't park in that same lot if the one in front of company is full? To a point I can understand the reasoning behind this, but single soldiers have to leave and run here and there just like our married counter-parts. Why should they get special parking treatment? I don't see anyone stopping married people from using the barracks washers and dryers to avoid buying their own/going to coin laundry mats. Why are married people allowed to dip their hands in our honey and slap ours away from theirs?
Like I said from the start I'm biased. I look over the fence and see greener grass. Perhaps this is all just one single soldier bitching and complaining.
_______________________________________________________________________________________
Update FEB 2019: Since I originally posted this message, I have gotten married. My view on the subject has not changed. I want to respond to some of the overarching themes in everyone responses.
“Quit bitching/whining/complaining.” I feel there is a difference between logically laying out issues and grievances and just bitching about them. The number of leaders who contributions on this post/topic amounted to “quit saying words” is disheartening.
“Get married/Army will issue you a wife.” Saying to get married just to move out of the barracks is a failure of leadership. Those of you (in my opinion) with that mentally should reconsider what you do/did and what your job is/was. As a former Infantry NCO I have dealt with the countless issues that arise when a soldier quickly marries someone for the wrong reason (example: get out of the barracks). The domestic issues, spouse calling in to the Staff Duty, soldier isn’t training because of counseling/FAP/court/Divorce related nonsense, greatly diminishes readiness which the last I checked the Army still considers to be pretty important.
“I had more money/I wish I was back in the barracks/ but but bills! etc.” Bull. I wish I could challenge anyone who says that to actually prove it. As stated, I am married now. I have more money, flexibility, and financial freedom then I did as a single E-4. Now some of that is because I’m a higher rank. Part of it is because I use BAH as intended to cover housing/bills, my BAS for food, and having the control over how much I spend on those two items is very important. Also, my spouse works. I have come to realize that is less than common for married soldiers in the Army. However, I would argue that getting married and not having both spouses working is a decision that you made going in to it. I’m not arguing/stating if it’s the right or wrong choice. It’s what you decided worked for ya’ll. To me it’s the equivalent of a private going out and buying that 23% interest Mustang then complaining about how much money it costs and how he used to have it so much better without that car payment. If you choose (by getting married/having kids) to feed/house/care for additional people (spouse/kids) and yet do nothing to increase your income than yeah…you’ll have less money. That is a very poor argument for what the original post was about.
a. Hopefully ^above^ I’ve made my point clear and concise seems a little muddy to me, I guess we shall see in future comments.
“Move off post.” That’s not an option. Well I guess it is, however single soldiers still have to maintain the barracks room they get assigned, they still wouldn’t get the BAH entitlement, and they would have to still pay the DFAC out of their BAS. Do I need to continue on the ignorance of that statement? Sure, there’s a packet you can submit and ask to receive those allowances, I’ve only ever seen get accepted once and that was when my BDE changed from Light to Armored, only for E-5s, and it was suggested only if they were on orders and would be PCS’ing soon anyhow. They wanted non-PCS’ing E-5s still in the barracks. I don’t recall if I stated it in my original post but that unofficial additional duty of being an NCO at the barracks is crap. “You’re an NCO at the barracks keep everyone in line down there after work and on weekends”, thought that’s what CQ was for. I’ll also comment on the “single people off post would party to much/be late to formation/traffic at the gates/ get in trouble in town more” line of nonsense. It’s ignorant. Along with the “paying dues” comments.
Veterans- I appreciate you are still active in the boarder military community, and recognize that your time in the service paved the way for what we did/do/have accomplished today. However, pointing out how things were worse yesterday compared today and to “suck it up” is lazy. There is no reason we can’t keep pointing out things today to make tomorrow even better. I’m sure there is crap I can’t even fathom that ya’ll dealt with back in the 60s, 80s, and what have you that were fixed because of people continuing to bring the issue up.
Lastly, I’ve enjoyed reading the varied amount of responses everyone has on the topic. If mine come off as aggressive or across the line it was not my intention. When I posted the original stuff above 4+ almost 5 years ago I never expected it to get attention and still receive emails notifications years later. I’m fairly sure I’ve read 90% of the comments because Rally Point sends me an email every time someone comments. No I did not add that picture at the top, it’s the website. Sorry if you clicked on a Rally Point ad somewhere that linked to this post only to see it’s from 2014. I don’t control those. It’s the website. Yes I’m sure there are a few grammar and spelling errors. If you point it out at the beginning of a comment, I’m more likely to see it and correct the issue. Cheers to several more years of being told why I’m wrong.
Posted in these groups: 
Barracks
BAS
Marriage
DiscriminationBetter Opportunities for Single Soldiers (BOSS) President
Barracks BAS Marriage DiscriminationBetter Opportunities for Single Soldiers (BOSS) President
Edited >1 y ago
Posted >1 y ago
Responses: 488
I was single for my entire 20 years. My takeaway is that the Army really doesn't give a shit about its soldiers, single or married or otherwise. Single soldiers get it the worst just because that's what's convenient for Army leadership. It's not personal, the Army just doesn't see us as a valuable resource, so we're not taken care of.
Your article brings up good and bad point about the Army. I myself has gone through the marrying the wrong person then having to go through the divorce but still provide her half my check because big army said well she's entitled to your money even if she was the one proven to be the guilty party. Then of course when i started to try and live my life the best i could and just start talking to people my command failed me by pulling me into CDMs every chase they had all because they assumed or had a perception of anything and everything. I even had one soldier get demoted because he was accused of messing around with another soldier who was married. It literally took me and my soldiers months to clear his name and to prove him innocent because the two knew each other personally and was from the same town amd went to the same school.
They said well she's married and he isn't but we assumed they had a thing. I made the statement that assumption is the mother of all fuck ups per say my first sergeant. Needless to say never tell an MP the ideals of a grunt. They never get it.
Also i too have seen couples get refused off base housing because they had on base housing available and the couples would complain because the houses all looked the same. Now my first sergeant was a firm believer in knowing where all of his troopers were and where they lived and would visit frequently just to make sure everything was good with everyone.
As far as the DFAC meals goes, brother i got charged for all my meals regardless if i brought my own or not.
But there is a lot wrong with the army but fortunately there are steps going in the right direction to help make it better.....now transitioning out and into the civilian world, they definitely need to work on in my opinion but that's a different story for a different pot of turpentine.
They said well she's married and he isn't but we assumed they had a thing. I made the statement that assumption is the mother of all fuck ups per say my first sergeant. Needless to say never tell an MP the ideals of a grunt. They never get it.
Also i too have seen couples get refused off base housing because they had on base housing available and the couples would complain because the houses all looked the same. Now my first sergeant was a firm believer in knowing where all of his troopers were and where they lived and would visit frequently just to make sure everything was good with everyone.
As far as the DFAC meals goes, brother i got charged for all my meals regardless if i brought my own or not.
But there is a lot wrong with the army but fortunately there are steps going in the right direction to help make it better.....now transitioning out and into the civilian world, they definitely need to work on in my opinion but that's a different story for a different pot of turpentine.
I absolutely 100% couldn’t agree more. I was one of the idiots that got married for the wrong reasons. Got married to a female soldier in Korea just to live off post because of the RIDICULOUS crap barracks soldiers had to go through, if you’ve never been to Korea, well. There’s nothing to do there but TRAIN! If you’re combat mos anyway up at camp Casey/hovey. So we got married, my commander was cool and let me live off post, hers... not so much. So I ended up with an apartment all to myself, and sometimes my wife would come over and occasionally sneak a night over. It ended up being a place where we all hung out. My new wife and I didn’t end up getting along so well, divorced STILL while in Korea (TEN DOLLARS! Well.. 10 wan or whatever). So much easier that here. I’ve done both. But yeah. I went through some shit to get those married benefits.
There is a reason, but you've got to look at finances from the Army's point of view. Those barracks shouldn't cost more than $1068/room to house soldiers, but that's another conversation. Essentially, the army has to pay an extra $1400 dollars to those married soldiers, and that cost takes away from the budget somewhere else. How many married soldiers are in your company? 20 costs the army an extra $28,000/month. When times are tight, that's not much in the training bucket, but it counts for something. Taxpayers want efficient use of their funds. I agree with BS on multiple SOPs to keep track of, but how are you going to explain to the non-college educated single soldier that the reason his roommate doesn't have to go through inspections is that he has a degree? Standards are not a bad thing, and Joe appreciates when leaders are held to the same standards.
The perks are there too. I can't tell you that I never felt a little jealousy at the guys living on post. While I was waking up earlier to get in my truck and drive in, I would see the guys running up to formation that would barely wake up 15 minutes prior. Also, being able to run 5 minutes to get something forgotten is a bonus. Plus there is a level of built in comradery that married soldiers don't get.
Over my three years, I noticed that level build between the guys living together and hanging out after work. I get it. They would say "Bryant, you're so lucky." Then they would go play video games and hang out, everything paid for except a car payment and cell phone. I meanwhile would go home and go to work, helping take care of the kid, dinner, dishes, yard and house. Sometimes I'd pull staff duty, sometimes I'd have to wake up in the middle of the night to get ready and drive in for a rotating guard shift, only to drive back home after two hours. There are perks to either. That $1400/month doesn't go very far when you have to rent a whole house or apartment, and take care of a kid. I'm just glad my wife worked and shared the financial burden. Bring up the equality issues.
The perks are there too. I can't tell you that I never felt a little jealousy at the guys living on post. While I was waking up earlier to get in my truck and drive in, I would see the guys running up to formation that would barely wake up 15 minutes prior. Also, being able to run 5 minutes to get something forgotten is a bonus. Plus there is a level of built in comradery that married soldiers don't get.
Over my three years, I noticed that level build between the guys living together and hanging out after work. I get it. They would say "Bryant, you're so lucky." Then they would go play video games and hang out, everything paid for except a car payment and cell phone. I meanwhile would go home and go to work, helping take care of the kid, dinner, dishes, yard and house. Sometimes I'd pull staff duty, sometimes I'd have to wake up in the middle of the night to get ready and drive in for a rotating guard shift, only to drive back home after two hours. There are perks to either. That $1400/month doesn't go very far when you have to rent a whole house or apartment, and take care of a kid. I'm just glad my wife worked and shared the financial burden. Bring up the equality issues.
I'm not enlisted and thus did not have to live in the barracks. Eventhough I agree with you wholeheartedly. I'm a single officer and the way single soldiers, enlisted and officers, are treated from a financial perspective is discriminatory compared to married soldiers. The current military view at married vs single is antiquated and explains why many single officers leave the military.
The REAL reason is that married soldiers tend to be harder workers and more likely to reenlist than single soldiers so they take care of married soldiers. My fix would be to not provide BAH or on base housing for E4s and below who are married. That would discourage junior enlists from getting married too soon which is a source of many problems. If a young soldier wants to get married he or she should get it together and get promoted to E5. Is that too much to ask?
Please keep reading. I served in 91/92 as a single soldier and noticed the very same issues you pointed out. Unless a single soldier bought a house or rented off base, with permission from his COC, he was relocated to base barracks and shared facilities. In my company, we had married E-1's in base housing with all the benefits you pointed out and more. They had additional personal liberties which extended beyond and into physical fitness. They were often absent from morning formations with no repercussion. Meanwhile, we had NCOs signing in and out of barrack life, living down the hall from 18/19 year olds. Never mind your auto correct grammar. Your message was and probably still is, accurate.
Perhaps the Armed Forces does this for a more existential reason. Maybe a married soldier has more to live for and will therefore fight harder? And maybe a married soldier will grow more to become an educated soldier? Maybe they fear a wife will entice her soldier husband to leave service? He he wants to leave he'll have to calculate the $$$ lost if he becomes a civilian again. Will they be able to afford a house? Insurance for that home? Taxes for that home? You get the idea.
Good post Sgt
Have a great day
Perhaps the Armed Forces does this for a more existential reason. Maybe a married soldier has more to live for and will therefore fight harder? And maybe a married soldier will grow more to become an educated soldier? Maybe they fear a wife will entice her soldier husband to leave service? He he wants to leave he'll have to calculate the $$$ lost if he becomes a civilian again. Will they be able to afford a house? Insurance for that home? Taxes for that home? You get the idea.
Good post Sgt
Have a great day
It's all about the economics and logistics. The system is not perfect but it works. That's the compensation package, don't like it, see yah, get another "job", but don't try to take away benefits from the married ones. Getting married to solve your solvency "problems" is not a solution, it's a complication. Improving quality of life in the barracks is the target. Run it like an HOA and see what happens, no one agrees. Good luck with that. PS. I loved my life in the Army as a single soldier; I looked for experiences outside the barracks. Inspections, make all of them unannounced and random. Fix the room, find a girlfriend off post. I loved the food at the dinning facility, the people that work there made the difference. Quality of life is the target, not a paycheck. Just saying...
It's not just Army. In the Air Force single airmen were always the first called to deploy and the last to redeploy to home base.
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