Posted on May 18, 2014
Why does the Army discriminate against single soldiers?
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First let me say I am biased in my opinion since I am a single soldier. The Army stacks the deck against single soldiers, in a variety of ways. There are standards that single soldiers are forced to obey that married soldiers are not. Purely just because of their marriage.
Housing is my personal biggest area of concern being a single soldier. I am a 27 yr old college graduate. I get the same "rights" in my living quarters that a single 17/18 yr old straight out of high-school would get. If that same soldier is married, they get considerably more freedom, pay, and budget control than I do.
I as a single soldier get no say in where I live. At my current duty station the BAH for my rank and dependent status (Single, E-4) would be $1,068. So I essentially pay $1,068 dollars a month to live in the barracks. The barracks I live in have two separate bedrooms, with a common kitchen and bathroom area. Since there are two soldiers in each little barracks apartment, we collectively pay $2,136 a month for this set up. That is FAR more then what a similar apartment style would cost in the surrounding communities. If single soldiers were allowed to have BAH and live where they choose we could potentially save several hundred dollars a month by controlling our living expenses. That's not including the approximately $300 a month we are forced to pay for the DFACs.
There is also the issue of furniture in the barracks. Again we have no say, we get whatever the Army already has in the room. Personally I would love to have an actual nice mattress, instead of these cheap plastic blue ones.
Barracks inspections. I can't stand barracks inspections. The inspections are completely up to the person doing them and what they "think" the standard should be. One inspection your could be fine, the next one your getting lectured about how to make a bed. Last summer I had to write a 2 page paper for an LT about personal standards in the barracks. All because my bed didn't have hospital corners. (That morning when I get up I tossed my blanket off to the right of me, where it was just sorta crunched up against the wall running the length of my bed.) If I want to know what I am allowed to have and not have in my room, I have to read three different policy letters to find out. Division could allow something, Brigade could say no, and then Battalion have nothing about it at all. I get that lower commands are allowed to restrict privileges as they see fit. I'm just saying it's cumbersome to have to read three different levels policy to find out what is what.
It annoys me that I have to have periodic inspections(currently every morning before PT for my company) while married soldiers receive no inspections just because they are married. I get that they have a family, I just don't see why that should stop a squad leader from making a planned, announced, and visual walk-through of the house of the married soldier. Keeping the same standard of living as a single soldier should be part of the military life.
Meal Deductions. I don't think the DFACs are worth the $300 a month I have to pay. I hate having to "play" the "I am a Meal Card Holder" card to get lunch sometimes during work. It's usually followed by a married soldier saying "I'm working thru lunch, you don't see me bitching about wanting to leave for food". True. However when we miss our lunch it's gone. The money we paid is gone rather we ate that meal or not. Married people if they bring their lunch it'll still be there later. If they eat out, then well that's just money they didn't spend that day. They can use it tomorrow to get twice as much for lunch or eat somewhere more expensive depending on their budget.
We get no say in what sounds good for dinner. It's whatever the DFAC has. Sometimes that means either fried or grilled chicken. If they run out of one thing, it'll be whatever they have left. It's not right. It leaves married people with control over their diet and single soldiers with whatever the Army needed to clean out of the fridge.
The above is just Big Army things, the discrimination continues all the way down to the company level. At my company single soldiers who live in the barracks are not allowed to park in the lot in front of the company. Now our barracks is approximately 3/4 mile down the road. Our motor pool is another 3/4 mile the other direction. I find it silly that an entire parking lot is reserved for married people. Sure single soldiers can drive to work, but we have to park in the barracks across the street. Which is not the barracks we live in. Married people can't park in that same lot if the one in front of company is full? To a point I can understand the reasoning behind this, but single soldiers have to leave and run here and there just like our married counter-parts. Why should they get special parking treatment? I don't see anyone stopping married people from using the barracks washers and dryers to avoid buying their own/going to coin laundry mats. Why are married people allowed to dip their hands in our honey and slap ours away from theirs?
Like I said from the start I'm biased. I look over the fence and see greener grass. Perhaps this is all just one single soldier bitching and complaining.
_______________________________________________________________________________________
Update FEB 2019: Since I originally posted this message, I have gotten married. My view on the subject has not changed. I want to respond to some of the overarching themes in everyone responses.
“Quit bitching/whining/complaining.” I feel there is a difference between logically laying out issues and grievances and just bitching about them. The number of leaders who contributions on this post/topic amounted to “quit saying words” is disheartening.
“Get married/Army will issue you a wife.” Saying to get married just to move out of the barracks is a failure of leadership. Those of you (in my opinion) with that mentally should reconsider what you do/did and what your job is/was. As a former Infantry NCO I have dealt with the countless issues that arise when a soldier quickly marries someone for the wrong reason (example: get out of the barracks). The domestic issues, spouse calling in to the Staff Duty, soldier isn’t training because of counseling/FAP/court/Divorce related nonsense, greatly diminishes readiness which the last I checked the Army still considers to be pretty important.
“I had more money/I wish I was back in the barracks/ but but bills! etc.” Bull. I wish I could challenge anyone who says that to actually prove it. As stated, I am married now. I have more money, flexibility, and financial freedom then I did as a single E-4. Now some of that is because I’m a higher rank. Part of it is because I use BAH as intended to cover housing/bills, my BAS for food, and having the control over how much I spend on those two items is very important. Also, my spouse works. I have come to realize that is less than common for married soldiers in the Army. However, I would argue that getting married and not having both spouses working is a decision that you made going in to it. I’m not arguing/stating if it’s the right or wrong choice. It’s what you decided worked for ya’ll. To me it’s the equivalent of a private going out and buying that 23% interest Mustang then complaining about how much money it costs and how he used to have it so much better without that car payment. If you choose (by getting married/having kids) to feed/house/care for additional people (spouse/kids) and yet do nothing to increase your income than yeah…you’ll have less money. That is a very poor argument for what the original post was about.
a. Hopefully ^above^ I’ve made my point clear and concise seems a little muddy to me, I guess we shall see in future comments.
“Move off post.” That’s not an option. Well I guess it is, however single soldiers still have to maintain the barracks room they get assigned, they still wouldn’t get the BAH entitlement, and they would have to still pay the DFAC out of their BAS. Do I need to continue on the ignorance of that statement? Sure, there’s a packet you can submit and ask to receive those allowances, I’ve only ever seen get accepted once and that was when my BDE changed from Light to Armored, only for E-5s, and it was suggested only if they were on orders and would be PCS’ing soon anyhow. They wanted non-PCS’ing E-5s still in the barracks. I don’t recall if I stated it in my original post but that unofficial additional duty of being an NCO at the barracks is crap. “You’re an NCO at the barracks keep everyone in line down there after work and on weekends”, thought that’s what CQ was for. I’ll also comment on the “single people off post would party to much/be late to formation/traffic at the gates/ get in trouble in town more” line of nonsense. It’s ignorant. Along with the “paying dues” comments.
Veterans- I appreciate you are still active in the boarder military community, and recognize that your time in the service paved the way for what we did/do/have accomplished today. However, pointing out how things were worse yesterday compared today and to “suck it up” is lazy. There is no reason we can’t keep pointing out things today to make tomorrow even better. I’m sure there is crap I can’t even fathom that ya’ll dealt with back in the 60s, 80s, and what have you that were fixed because of people continuing to bring the issue up.
Lastly, I’ve enjoyed reading the varied amount of responses everyone has on the topic. If mine come off as aggressive or across the line it was not my intention. When I posted the original stuff above 4+ almost 5 years ago I never expected it to get attention and still receive emails notifications years later. I’m fairly sure I’ve read 90% of the comments because Rally Point sends me an email every time someone comments. No I did not add that picture at the top, it’s the website. Sorry if you clicked on a Rally Point ad somewhere that linked to this post only to see it’s from 2014. I don’t control those. It’s the website. Yes I’m sure there are a few grammar and spelling errors. If you point it out at the beginning of a comment, I’m more likely to see it and correct the issue. Cheers to several more years of being told why I’m wrong.
Housing is my personal biggest area of concern being a single soldier. I am a 27 yr old college graduate. I get the same "rights" in my living quarters that a single 17/18 yr old straight out of high-school would get. If that same soldier is married, they get considerably more freedom, pay, and budget control than I do.
I as a single soldier get no say in where I live. At my current duty station the BAH for my rank and dependent status (Single, E-4) would be $1,068. So I essentially pay $1,068 dollars a month to live in the barracks. The barracks I live in have two separate bedrooms, with a common kitchen and bathroom area. Since there are two soldiers in each little barracks apartment, we collectively pay $2,136 a month for this set up. That is FAR more then what a similar apartment style would cost in the surrounding communities. If single soldiers were allowed to have BAH and live where they choose we could potentially save several hundred dollars a month by controlling our living expenses. That's not including the approximately $300 a month we are forced to pay for the DFACs.
There is also the issue of furniture in the barracks. Again we have no say, we get whatever the Army already has in the room. Personally I would love to have an actual nice mattress, instead of these cheap plastic blue ones.
Barracks inspections. I can't stand barracks inspections. The inspections are completely up to the person doing them and what they "think" the standard should be. One inspection your could be fine, the next one your getting lectured about how to make a bed. Last summer I had to write a 2 page paper for an LT about personal standards in the barracks. All because my bed didn't have hospital corners. (That morning when I get up I tossed my blanket off to the right of me, where it was just sorta crunched up against the wall running the length of my bed.) If I want to know what I am allowed to have and not have in my room, I have to read three different policy letters to find out. Division could allow something, Brigade could say no, and then Battalion have nothing about it at all. I get that lower commands are allowed to restrict privileges as they see fit. I'm just saying it's cumbersome to have to read three different levels policy to find out what is what.
It annoys me that I have to have periodic inspections(currently every morning before PT for my company) while married soldiers receive no inspections just because they are married. I get that they have a family, I just don't see why that should stop a squad leader from making a planned, announced, and visual walk-through of the house of the married soldier. Keeping the same standard of living as a single soldier should be part of the military life.
Meal Deductions. I don't think the DFACs are worth the $300 a month I have to pay. I hate having to "play" the "I am a Meal Card Holder" card to get lunch sometimes during work. It's usually followed by a married soldier saying "I'm working thru lunch, you don't see me bitching about wanting to leave for food". True. However when we miss our lunch it's gone. The money we paid is gone rather we ate that meal or not. Married people if they bring their lunch it'll still be there later. If they eat out, then well that's just money they didn't spend that day. They can use it tomorrow to get twice as much for lunch or eat somewhere more expensive depending on their budget.
We get no say in what sounds good for dinner. It's whatever the DFAC has. Sometimes that means either fried or grilled chicken. If they run out of one thing, it'll be whatever they have left. It's not right. It leaves married people with control over their diet and single soldiers with whatever the Army needed to clean out of the fridge.
The above is just Big Army things, the discrimination continues all the way down to the company level. At my company single soldiers who live in the barracks are not allowed to park in the lot in front of the company. Now our barracks is approximately 3/4 mile down the road. Our motor pool is another 3/4 mile the other direction. I find it silly that an entire parking lot is reserved for married people. Sure single soldiers can drive to work, but we have to park in the barracks across the street. Which is not the barracks we live in. Married people can't park in that same lot if the one in front of company is full? To a point I can understand the reasoning behind this, but single soldiers have to leave and run here and there just like our married counter-parts. Why should they get special parking treatment? I don't see anyone stopping married people from using the barracks washers and dryers to avoid buying their own/going to coin laundry mats. Why are married people allowed to dip their hands in our honey and slap ours away from theirs?
Like I said from the start I'm biased. I look over the fence and see greener grass. Perhaps this is all just one single soldier bitching and complaining.
_______________________________________________________________________________________
Update FEB 2019: Since I originally posted this message, I have gotten married. My view on the subject has not changed. I want to respond to some of the overarching themes in everyone responses.
“Quit bitching/whining/complaining.” I feel there is a difference between logically laying out issues and grievances and just bitching about them. The number of leaders who contributions on this post/topic amounted to “quit saying words” is disheartening.
“Get married/Army will issue you a wife.” Saying to get married just to move out of the barracks is a failure of leadership. Those of you (in my opinion) with that mentally should reconsider what you do/did and what your job is/was. As a former Infantry NCO I have dealt with the countless issues that arise when a soldier quickly marries someone for the wrong reason (example: get out of the barracks). The domestic issues, spouse calling in to the Staff Duty, soldier isn’t training because of counseling/FAP/court/Divorce related nonsense, greatly diminishes readiness which the last I checked the Army still considers to be pretty important.
“I had more money/I wish I was back in the barracks/ but but bills! etc.” Bull. I wish I could challenge anyone who says that to actually prove it. As stated, I am married now. I have more money, flexibility, and financial freedom then I did as a single E-4. Now some of that is because I’m a higher rank. Part of it is because I use BAH as intended to cover housing/bills, my BAS for food, and having the control over how much I spend on those two items is very important. Also, my spouse works. I have come to realize that is less than common for married soldiers in the Army. However, I would argue that getting married and not having both spouses working is a decision that you made going in to it. I’m not arguing/stating if it’s the right or wrong choice. It’s what you decided worked for ya’ll. To me it’s the equivalent of a private going out and buying that 23% interest Mustang then complaining about how much money it costs and how he used to have it so much better without that car payment. If you choose (by getting married/having kids) to feed/house/care for additional people (spouse/kids) and yet do nothing to increase your income than yeah…you’ll have less money. That is a very poor argument for what the original post was about.
a. Hopefully ^above^ I’ve made my point clear and concise seems a little muddy to me, I guess we shall see in future comments.
“Move off post.” That’s not an option. Well I guess it is, however single soldiers still have to maintain the barracks room they get assigned, they still wouldn’t get the BAH entitlement, and they would have to still pay the DFAC out of their BAS. Do I need to continue on the ignorance of that statement? Sure, there’s a packet you can submit and ask to receive those allowances, I’ve only ever seen get accepted once and that was when my BDE changed from Light to Armored, only for E-5s, and it was suggested only if they were on orders and would be PCS’ing soon anyhow. They wanted non-PCS’ing E-5s still in the barracks. I don’t recall if I stated it in my original post but that unofficial additional duty of being an NCO at the barracks is crap. “You’re an NCO at the barracks keep everyone in line down there after work and on weekends”, thought that’s what CQ was for. I’ll also comment on the “single people off post would party to much/be late to formation/traffic at the gates/ get in trouble in town more” line of nonsense. It’s ignorant. Along with the “paying dues” comments.
Veterans- I appreciate you are still active in the boarder military community, and recognize that your time in the service paved the way for what we did/do/have accomplished today. However, pointing out how things were worse yesterday compared today and to “suck it up” is lazy. There is no reason we can’t keep pointing out things today to make tomorrow even better. I’m sure there is crap I can’t even fathom that ya’ll dealt with back in the 60s, 80s, and what have you that were fixed because of people continuing to bring the issue up.
Lastly, I’ve enjoyed reading the varied amount of responses everyone has on the topic. If mine come off as aggressive or across the line it was not my intention. When I posted the original stuff above 4+ almost 5 years ago I never expected it to get attention and still receive emails notifications years later. I’m fairly sure I’ve read 90% of the comments because Rally Point sends me an email every time someone comments. No I did not add that picture at the top, it’s the website. Sorry if you clicked on a Rally Point ad somewhere that linked to this post only to see it’s from 2014. I don’t control those. It’s the website. Yes I’m sure there are a few grammar and spelling errors. If you point it out at the beginning of a comment, I’m more likely to see it and correct the issue. Cheers to several more years of being told why I’m wrong.
Posted in these groups: 
Barracks
BAS
Marriage
DiscriminationBetter Opportunities for Single Soldiers (BOSS) President
Barracks BAS Marriage DiscriminationBetter Opportunities for Single Soldiers (BOSS) President
Edited >1 y ago
Posted >1 y ago
Responses: 488
This isn’t an Army issue, it’s a DOD issue. Were you not made aware of these situations prior to signing your contract? Did you not ask any of these questions before you joined? I served for 27 years as both a single soldier and a married one so have been on both sides of the fence. You always have choices, you just need to make them.
Oh no! 2 rooms with a common kitchen and bathroom? I had a some points, 4 men to a room, with a central latrine area that two platoons shared. We were not even allowed to have a microwave or a coffee pot.
Suck it up, soldier. You signed on the dotted line.
Suck it up, soldier. You signed on the dotted line.
Honestly, it’s a nuclear family thing more than and Army thing because it’s also across other branches. America has constantly pushed the narrative that people need to get married and have babies to further the working bees and since our society values our bodies as commodities to be used, they see single people as less than and inherently risky. I’d like it to change myself; especially considering I don’t think the military really wants families serving. They’d prefer a bunch of singles.
Seems not much has changed in the barracks over the years. Yeah, rooms instead of bays and kitchen, washer rooms, day rooms all in the barracks but "tenants" have as much freedom to live their lives todays as they did seventy years ago when I lived in open bays. I don't know if soldiers/airmen still have to stand roll call each working day - but those living off base were exempt. Not fair, perhaps, but that is the army/air force. Get promoted or get out. Marriage is not really an option just to get out of the barracks.
I was a single solider in the Army and except for overseas and schools l think l lived off post since l was an E-5. Overseas dependents weren't allowed. A 2 lD Korea thing. Had nice digs off post as you don't spend a lot of money in Korea. Yeah married folks were treated better but there board and water and power negated that. I was lucky everybody was treated the same after an exercise
We had it easy compared to the WWII men! I was during Viet Nam era...we did not have separate bedrooms! When it wasnt open bay barracks bunks...you had at least 3 room mates...maybe a locker separated us! You sound like youre kind of spoiled! Wow! I dont know how I made it on a lot less than 10 K a year but it really wasnt that much of a struggle! I adapted!
You should not be beating yourself up ... what you believe is a choice you made; perfectly justified per your experience.
What someone response Is their choice. If we all think the same, life will not have any challenges.
I’m sure your comments have been heard and changes be made 50 years from now. It appears your comments are valid. Stay strong brother and be a good leader; Lead By Example! Hooah
What someone response Is their choice. If we all think the same, life will not have any challenges.
I’m sure your comments have been heard and changes be made 50 years from now. It appears your comments are valid. Stay strong brother and be a good leader; Lead By Example! Hooah
1970. Single. Arrive after basic at Ft Eustis, VA. Start AIT, 61C Marine engineman (yes the Army has boats) did well, advanced to the higher class. Made distinguished student (second highest score). Held over to go to shake and bake. So here’s 12 of us, all E-4 with red felt dots under our rank going thru the leadership phase, we’re all doing great. Next phase is advanced engineering. That’s 8 weeks. Upon graduation we all will be pinned Sgt E-5, not sp5.
At the 4 week mark of the Engineering phase of the course, 4 of us ( conveniently the 4 single guys) We’re pulled and given orders to Vietnam because of a supposed to be shortage in a watercraft BN. So we took leave, ended up at CamRhon Bay replacement company. Hey in the mean time that BN received warning orders to stand down and prepare to rotate to the states. We were split up, to different units.
We all survived, returned still E-4. I looked up the graduates of our class, all Sgt E-5, but one was working the NCO club, one running the automotive shop, one assistant to the NCOIC of post details, one was drummed out for going AWOL. One was assigned to a vessel at the port but it was inoperable. The other 3 were off somewhere, one sent to Germany, don’t know about the other two. But here’s all that training wasted.
I got out early in exchange for a 1 year obligation to my hometown National Guard unit. Was promoted to sp5 the second drill. Stayed another 27 years.
At the 4 week mark of the Engineering phase of the course, 4 of us ( conveniently the 4 single guys) We’re pulled and given orders to Vietnam because of a supposed to be shortage in a watercraft BN. So we took leave, ended up at CamRhon Bay replacement company. Hey in the mean time that BN received warning orders to stand down and prepare to rotate to the states. We were split up, to different units.
We all survived, returned still E-4. I looked up the graduates of our class, all Sgt E-5, but one was working the NCO club, one running the automotive shop, one assistant to the NCOIC of post details, one was drummed out for going AWOL. One was assigned to a vessel at the port but it was inoperable. The other 3 were off somewhere, one sent to Germany, don’t know about the other two. But here’s all that training wasted.
I got out early in exchange for a 1 year obligation to my hometown National Guard unit. Was promoted to sp5 the second drill. Stayed another 27 years.
Way back in the day, the 70's, the answer was, if the Army wanted you to have a wife they would've issued you one. The married guys always thought they were getting short changed, while the single guys always thought they were pampered. Here's the real danger about the way they Army has dealt with married soldiers. Certain soldiers may get an opportunity to communicate with their spouses while others may not be in that same position. A few of the soldiers in touch with spouses may be disenchanted with the way things are going and they tell their spouses things that should be unit business. Next thing you know, the wives of those disenchanted soldiers get some information and rumors amongst the "Wive's Club" starts. Next thing you know, soldiers or NCOes are screwing around with a female soldier and the wife of that soldier immediately gets concerned and the rumor mill gets placed way out of proportion. Things get back to the "In Theater" command and it creates issues for the soldiers in the Box. Those that are not true create many issues that are not necessary, or creates facial issues based on rumor. There are so many issues involved with these spousal organizations that gets back to the operational areas and there is no way for them to get resolved, while operational standards are strained. I agree with the old days of, If the Army wanted you to have a wife, they would've issued you one. There are way too many unproven issues that can affect and effect a line leaders moral and ability to lead their troops. The wive's do NOT understand OPSEC, or Procedures. None of this covers the issues brought up by the Sgt., but combat and conflict operations are impacted to a much deeper level than day-to-day garrison operations, such as barracks inspections etc. In order to gain the real feel for the Army, they need to bring open bays back. Open bays were fun, aggravating, irritating, and as much negative as could be, but it really brought forth camaraderie. Different topic for a different day, but making certain that soldiers maintain integrity within the ranks with mission accomplishment and ensuring that all operational procedures for mission accomplishment and lives of subordinates are protected to the best of one's ability. Outside interference can skew this judgement and throw the entire unit and mission out of synch.
Man I'm glad I only did a Two year stint.As a draftee all I had to do was keep my mouth shut and do my job.If you joined or re-upped,you knew what you were signing up for.We were trained to take up any slack that presented itself.All for $78.00 a month.
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