Posted on Oct 14, 2014
Why is it taboo not to love your time in the service?
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I am perplexed by the idea that everyone who put on the uniform has to love what they are doing. How is it that you expect everyone to be able to have the few goods override the many negatives? We all know that every day we lose great talent because they are unhappy with the work conditions, and no longer want to tolerate them. We speak about how we might be able to retain them if possible. I understand not everyone can retire from the military but like any other company shouldn't the Army be doing its best to retain as much prime talent as possible?
I learned a lesson as a child in school, "you do not have to love the job you have, but you have to do it to the best of your ability". In the military I learned, "if you don't like the way things are, get promoted and change what you can in your A.O., or get out and lobby for change from the outside".
Maybe this is a rant, but I have some real interest in knowing why it is so taboo for people when they hear you are not happy about your service as of yet, or your overall experience in general.
I learned a lesson as a child in school, "you do not have to love the job you have, but you have to do it to the best of your ability". In the military I learned, "if you don't like the way things are, get promoted and change what you can in your A.O., or get out and lobby for change from the outside".
Maybe this is a rant, but I have some real interest in knowing why it is so taboo for people when they hear you are not happy about your service as of yet, or your overall experience in general.
Service
Culture
Edited 11 y ago
Posted 11 y ago
Responses: 12
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I don't think that it is taboo not to love all your time in the Service. I have had numerous times in my career where I couldn't stand the job I was doing, or the people I was working with/for, or the politics of a unit, or you name it. The thing that I learned a long time ago and it has been reinforced all throughout my career is that there will be bad days and bad times. The key is to learn something from them and move on. Never make a long term decision based on a short term problem. The good times that I have experienced in the Service far outweighs the bad times, but I think that you would be hard-pressed to find any Service Member who has experienced nothing but good times in their career.
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SFC (Join to see)
I love serving in this profession and will miss it terrible when the time comes for me to leave it. I've served with people that helped me become a better person and Leader; even if they weren't good people or good leaders. We can focus more on the bad and not on the good; but that's not fair. I have so many more good memories during my 16 years of service than bad ones, and that's what I love about my time in the Army!
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There is nothing at all wrong with not loving your time in service. We have ALL had periods of time where we, dare I say, hated it! In that respect, it's no different than any other job. It is, however, uncommon for veterans or service members to not be proud of their service to our Nation, a very big distinction.
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SPC Christopher Smith
MSG Wade Huffman I believe you have hit the nail on the head, I believe some people cross service happiness/tolernace with pride.
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Who ever said it was Taboo? I've known plenty of people who hated it....but very few that look back and STILL hate it.
I couldn't even begin to tell you how many people I saw who just gritted their teeth and came to grips with "I don't have to like it, but I DO have to DO it"....or even adopted the acronym "FIDO" as their personal mantra. (look that one up if you don't know it).
I'm sure that there were plenty of moments through my time in the Military where I didn't love it...the thing is, when I look back at it, I'm hard pressed to come up with one....in fact, looking back through the 20 years I've been out I can come up with a lot more in civilian jobs - and to compound that, those moments in civilian jobs didn't mean a damn thing to anyone except money. At least when it sucked in the Army, it meant something. This may not mean much to you now, but if you serve out your term and get out, someday it will.
I couldn't even begin to tell you how many people I saw who just gritted their teeth and came to grips with "I don't have to like it, but I DO have to DO it"....or even adopted the acronym "FIDO" as their personal mantra. (look that one up if you don't know it).
I'm sure that there were plenty of moments through my time in the Military where I didn't love it...the thing is, when I look back at it, I'm hard pressed to come up with one....in fact, looking back through the 20 years I've been out I can come up with a lot more in civilian jobs - and to compound that, those moments in civilian jobs didn't mean a damn thing to anyone except money. At least when it sucked in the Army, it meant something. This may not mean much to you now, but if you serve out your term and get out, someday it will.
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SPC Christopher Smith, I agree with SFC Michael Hasbun. I don't think it's taboo not to love your time in the service, but I'll bet when you ETS (or retire), you will look back on your Army time and remember the good times more than you remember the tough times. It's human nature, I think, to remember the good things and let the bad fade away.
I had some sort of a blessed career - minimal deployments, mostly garrison jobs, lots of time in civilian clothes - but I still had times I was hatin' life and not enjoying my job, my boss, the cold, the heat, etc. Still, "bad" memories fade away a lot quicker than the good memories and when I think back on my time in the Army and remember the people, the assignments, the accomplishments, etc., I remember my Army career very fondly.
I had some sort of a blessed career - minimal deployments, mostly garrison jobs, lots of time in civilian clothes - but I still had times I was hatin' life and not enjoying my job, my boss, the cold, the heat, etc. Still, "bad" memories fade away a lot quicker than the good memories and when I think back on my time in the Army and remember the people, the assignments, the accomplishments, etc., I remember my Army career very fondly.
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SFC Michael Hasbun
I agree. I've found that the moments that just suck at the time end up making the best memories/stories...
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It's not. At least it wasn't when I first joined. Back in the day, loving the military was for "boots", new guys. It was assumed you just didn't have the necessary experience to have formed a more accurate opinion, ie a negative one.
I can honestly say that, while I enjoy the military, I don't worship it. I enjoy her positives and am honest about her negatives. The day you are unable to acknowledge a fault is when solutions and progress become impossible..
I can honestly say that, while I enjoy the military, I don't worship it. I enjoy her positives and am honest about her negatives. The day you are unable to acknowledge a fault is when solutions and progress become impossible..
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SPC Christopher Smith
SFC Michael Hasbun thank you for the honest answer. It has been my personal experience as of late that most leaders are shocked when they are told the truth that ones experience has not brought them around to loving their service time. I wanted to make sure there was some unwritten test of loyalty I didn't know about.
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I have noticed Soldiers and Leaders alike focus deeply on the time they put into the Army rather than what they receive in return. The traveling, the camaraderie, the people you meet along the way, the experience, I think the point is to keep Soldiers positive, not necessarily make negative feedback taboo.
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SPC Christopher Smith
That is a great method, fight a negative with a positive in hopes to neutralize the mind set. Seeing how we forget the bad times sooner, than the good, in the long run.
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SPC Christopher Smith - I don't think it is taboo to not have enjoyed your time in the military. That life is not for everyone, if it was who would take care of the rest of our society? I feel bad that you did not have the great experiences that many of us did, but I can totally understand how you might not have enjoyed your time. Like all of life there can be some really bad people in the military which equates to bad experiences.
Find the good in life and pass it along, use all experiences good or bad as learning tools. If you were effected by bad leaders work hard to be a good one and don't make their mistakes.
Find the good in life and pass it along, use all experiences good or bad as learning tools. If you were effected by bad leaders work hard to be a good one and don't make their mistakes.
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SPC Christopher Smith It's not taboo to hate part or all of your time in service - not at all. What may be taboo, at least professionally, is to WBC....as in whine, bitch & complain. There were times in my career I really truly hated just about everything about the Navy. Some of the worst moments in my life were in the Navy - bar none. I won't tell you that those moments are forgotten or the individuals responsible for them forgiven, because it would be a lie.
What should happen....and I emphasize the word SHOULD.... is we move on from those moments. We take stock of the event(s), learn our lessons and realize we are (1) still alive and kicking (2) living in a country that allows second chances (3) use the lessons learned to avoid repeating the same scenario (note I did NOT say "repeating the same mistake" - not all negative events are a direct result of YOUR mistakes) and finally (4) smile when someone complains about something you know to be exceptionally trivial.
'Nuff said.
What should happen....and I emphasize the word SHOULD.... is we move on from those moments. We take stock of the event(s), learn our lessons and realize we are (1) still alive and kicking (2) living in a country that allows second chances (3) use the lessons learned to avoid repeating the same scenario (note I did NOT say "repeating the same mistake" - not all negative events are a direct result of YOUR mistakes) and finally (4) smile when someone complains about something you know to be exceptionally trivial.
'Nuff said.
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SPC Christopher Smith
PO1 (Join to see) I might have to print this and frame it, that is a great way to live life. Thank you
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PO1 (Join to see)
SPC Christopher Smith You're welcome...if you succeed and become rich and famous...don't call me. But rest assured, I'll be on the sidelines clapping my hands in congratulations.
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I loved being a soldier. There were some time periods that I did not particularly enjoy, and my body seems to have held a grudge about the wear and tear associated with the life in uniform . . . . but I would still have chosen to serve if I'd known then yada yada yada.
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I am very proud of my time in the Army! I have met great people, great leaders and experienced things (good and bad) that I would never have experienced otherwise. That being said, I have also met crappy people, had HORRIBLE leaders and got screwed by those same leaders. I have found that most people are unhappy about their current leadership more than their overall military experience. I suppose it is true that there are some people who are just generally unhappy with their entire military experience, but I think that if those folks looked really hard, they would find that they got something positive from their time in service.
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