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My wife is new to the Army she's only been in about 7 months. While she was in AIT her mother passed away and she has been having a really tough time dealing with it. Now that she is out of training and in the regular Army we both think that she needs to see a therapist but she's been told by multiple people in her unit that she shouldn't. They've said that it will be viewed as a negative and especially so because of how new she is. She was told that it would be part of her file and potentially prevent her from moving up. We want to know if this is true and if so what options she has. Any help is greatly appreciated. Thank you.
Therapy
Promotions
Military Career
Posted 4 y ago
Responses: 20
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With the army having a suicide stand down every other month, I think the army is more Sympathetic. Have her talk to a chaplain.
We have had too many generals commit suicide because they felt they were too good to seek professional help. If somebody gives your wife crap tell them a lieutenant colonel (Me) sent you this story.
https://www.armytimes.com/news/your-army/2017/01/11/army-report-self-doubt-and-sleep-deprivation-led-to-2-star-s-suicide/
We have had too many generals commit suicide because they felt they were too good to seek professional help. If somebody gives your wife crap tell them a lieutenant colonel (Me) sent you this story.
https://www.armytimes.com/news/your-army/2017/01/11/army-report-self-doubt-and-sleep-deprivation-led-to-2-star-s-suicide/
Army report: Self-doubt and sleep deprivation led to 2-star's suicide
Maj. Gen. John Rossi was two days away from pinning on a third star and taking the reins at U.S. Army Space and Missile Defense Command last July when he hanged himself.
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SGT Robert Pryor
Thank you LTC (Join to see), That's pretty powerful. I was just going to also say talk to a Chaplain, but what you wrote is so much more meaningful. I hope this young family takes your advice and proceed with working thought this difficult time. And my sympathy to your bride, J D and the entire extended family on the loss of your mother-in-law.
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Those encouraging her to not seek therapy/counseling are mistaken.
I strongly encourage you to support her in
seeking counseling/therapy. Please note that the Chaplain, in addition to health care providers, is another source.
Failing to seek counseling/therapy is unwise, and, truth be told, has the potential to have a negative impact on duty performance and family life.
Tell her to seek it; support her; and, tell her to hold her head high.
I strongly encourage you to support her in
seeking counseling/therapy. Please note that the Chaplain, in addition to health care providers, is another source.
Failing to seek counseling/therapy is unwise, and, truth be told, has the potential to have a negative impact on duty performance and family life.
Tell her to seek it; support her; and, tell her to hold her head high.
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J D Absolutely have seek help immediately through the chaplain services on base and don't wait. The loss of love one can be devastating and she needs the counseling. She can also connect with me and Warriors for Life (WFL) Virtual Support Group - it's private, no judgment, no stigma, and we've all been through the loss of a love one and even those who've died from Suicide. We meet on Satruday, Sunday, Monday, and Tuesday evening every week. We're here for veterans Juan. Here is my contact: [login to see] You can both reach out to me and I will give you the information to connect. Take care of her my friend.
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If she does not get better, that will affect her career much more than seeking help. I am in people's medical charts daily and unless you have a need to know, I do not even have access. There are certain markers than can affect a career but like I said in the beginning, if this does not get resolved, the issues will affect far more than getting seen.
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The Army has worked hard to remove the stigma of receiving therapy ever since Green Berets started returning from Iraq and killing their spouses/murder-suicide. We now have embedded behavior health counselors right in the Brigade and the chaplains are trained in counseling as well for those who prefer to talk to the chaplains. I myself have sought out counseling several times during the more stressful and traumatic periods of my career. Military One Source also provides six free counseling sessions with a local civilian counselor for you and your spouse for each for each separate issue and does not report that to her command.
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Not sure what the regs are, but as a leader I would much rather someone be proactive rather than reactive to mental health. I had a number of sailors that I sent to mental health, and none of them had their careers affected. Get the help, deal with what may come after words. Sorry about her Mom.
Edit: Saw some of the other posts and want to re-iterate about talking to a Chaplain. Even if you aren't religious, they are a very underutilized source that are VERY GOOD at dealing with stuff like this, and they know all the regs.
Edit: Saw some of the other posts and want to re-iterate about talking to a Chaplain. Even if you aren't religious, they are a very underutilized source that are VERY GOOD at dealing with stuff like this, and they know all the regs.
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You reminded me about mental Health! I put this on my Facebook. 3 Generals are on my friends list... I am not afraid to discuss sobriety and mental health! Thank you for inquiring!
J D COL (Join to see) CPT (Join to see)
J D COL (Join to see) CPT (Join to see)
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I worked with a Full bird colonel who went to The funeral of this lieutenant colonel. This new tenant colonel was a DEA agent stressed out about his work. He told his CO workers and went home and blew his brains Out. I don't feel there's anything wrong with your wife seeking counseling. Just have her do the best job she can. You can bring these stories along for good measure because her commander will be able to say a damn thing!!
https://www.military.com/daily-news/2018/03/14/police-investigating-death-marine-battalion-commander.html
https://www.military.com/daily-news/2018/03/14/police-investigating-death-marine-battalion-commander.html
Marine Battalion Commander Found Dead in Home
Officials have ruled a suicide after the commander of a Marine Forces Reserve unit was discovered dead earlier this month.
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Any leader that tells Soldiers that seeking help from Behavioral Health is seen/will be seen as a flaw/weakness....is a shitty leader IMHO. Behavioral Health is there for a reason. For Soldiers to get the help they need. I have told my Soldiers that if they need assistance...to seek out that assistance. Hell, I've told my Soldiers that I will personally go with them if they wanted me to. Hell, I've sought out the help of Behavioral Health. Your wife is getting bad intel. And any teammate that tells your wife to not seek help, they are some serious BLUE FALCONS
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