Your best "oh crap" moment?

Fortunately, this is something I witnessed.

On a Sunday afternoon during basic training, we had just arrived from morning service. Sundays were always area beautification day and we were just getting ready to join the rest of our cohorts when the Senior Drill Sergeant walks in. Wr look around and realized that everything was squared but we missed something as Privates often do.

Somehow we didn't see the private asleep in his bed at 1:00 pm in the afternoon. Well, the DS took a B-line right to his bunk and did the unexpected... He "tossed it". I mean with force!

Oh Crap!!!

The private jumps off the floor and proceeds to curse the living day lights out of the Senior Drill Sergeant. (I can't even type the things this kid said while he was half-sleep).

Oh Snap!

Needless to say, the poor kid got chewed, smoked, and dehydrated! He had to carry at least 20 sandbags about half a mile in the woods to fox hole one at a time, then go back into the foxhole and return them in the same method before dinner chow. I felt bad for the Soldier!

I was in AIT at Fort Polk, where we were in the old splinter city barracks. There were several commodes next to each other with no walls in between, and there were no real tp holders-so we always had a roll of tp available that we would pass back and forth as needed. I learned quickly to be one of the first ones on the pot, because I had the tp roll first. You knew they were out when some hapless soldier would ask for the roll, only to find out the previous soldier just finished the last of the roll. Oh, crap indeed!

I was briefing the LtCol on deployment and it was the first time I briefed without notes. I froze for a minute in the middle of the brief and completely forgot what I was talking about. It also happened to be the first brief we did for the British commander that was there with us.

About July '68. I had 10 days left in country and was out chasing rocket launch sites south of Danang. I had a pick up driver from supply and as things were a bit "hot" I double cocked the .50 on the way out to Engineers. We pulled into our slot and I set up azimuths to possible launch site targets before the sun went down. I walked out on the fender to watch the sunset and heard "I wonder if I can hit the French fort from...BANG!" My pick up driver had sat down in my TC hatch and squeezed off a single .50 over my ear.
I went from rage to covering my driver in an instant as an Engineer officer came out to see what was up. "Just an AD.......blah blah" I later tore him ten new assholes.

September 18, 2006, Goose Creek Naval Weapons Station, Charleston, SC. It was a beautiful, windy day with a bit choppy water. I was pulling onto our pier after conducting waterborne patrol. I tried to moor (park) just behind the USCG boat that was also moored. I was riding a 'Boston whaler' small boat, almost light enough to be picked up from water by hands all together. The strong gust was blowing in my back as I was pulling in and water choppiness did not help, swishing parallel with the wind.

I thought I slowed down enough so as not to create any wakes. My partner jumped off onto the pier and attempted to tie up the boat. He wasn't strong enough as wind and current pushed the boat slightly forward. The bow (tip) brushed against USCG boat engine blocks causing only minor scratches. Coasties, who stood at the pier, looked at the scratches, shook their heads, and floated away.

20 minutes later they pull back in: Chief wants it documented. The showdown began, all units have been notified of a boat wreck, all reported down to the pier. Watch commander, detectives, USN and USCG Chiefs on scene. Both USN and USCG COs were on scene. CDO/OOD came on scene. I'm standing in the office of our division officer (LT at a time) blaming the wind and the current.

Some coasties didn't think I was coming in fast, but some did, bastards! My partner had my back because he said I came in just fine.

Long story short, detectives took my statement and watch commander advised of a possible DRB (pre-NJP) hearing. DRB never happened and I was on patrol the day after next (they were too short with qualified coxswains heh heh)

Since that moment I got tired of being afraid of people and politics. I do the best that I can, work hard, play hard, and if I mess up, well I fess up. I take it like a champ, and never have another 'oh crap' day again. Hooyah!

I have 2.

First, I had just been stop-lossed for a third deployment and was pretty pissed so my appearance was less than squared away (not out of reg's though) and I was never much of a "garri-trooper" anyway. So it's the day of the E-5 board (I had already been promoted a few months earlier) and my PSG (also not squared away on this day) sends me to represent a soldier from my team. Well of course my company 1SG and CSM notice my appearance and chastise me, but to add to that I was told to report to the battalion CSM that afternoon with my PSG and both of us had to have fresh haircuts. We get in there and CSM reams us about appearance and how we aren't SF and we still have standards. The highlight was CSM was complaining about blousing pants over boots (which was how I rolled) so I was just standing there thinking "Don't look down, don't look down". Anyway, at the end of it my PSG told me "that was a waste of an ass-chewing".

The second one was the day after my 21st birthday. I was asleep on my buddies couch and it's around 1 pm. Another friend of mine comes in and wakes me up saying the CSM (same one as above) is asking for me by name and that I was supposed to be in a meeting at 11 am (I was never informed beforehand). So I hustle and get ready and head in, assuming the worst, but there was no issue. Just had a meeting about SDNCO's while on rear d. Breathed a big sigh of relief after that one.

So there I was, no shit, in the middle of field exercises and we're having a leaders meeting, E6 and above. Commander and 1SG just back from the BUB ready to put some knowledge down on us. Just before the meeting I watched my 1SG try to belittle my smoke, so I was already in a very angry mood when the meeting started. I was the 1st Platoon PL/XO so ammo is my baby in the field. Apparently BN had an issue with the other batteries Fing up their ammo counts. So 1SG asks me the count. I give it, shell/fuze/prop/and yes even fing primers. He tells me to be sure and recount it, which I had done directly before the meeting with the ammo section and each gun. So I said, my numbers are solid, checked and verified. So he said something to the effect of well I Don trust your numbers, so check it again. To which I knife handed my 1SG, and thanked him for assuming that I don't know how to do my job(3rd year as a PL, 2nd one stateside, 1 deployed), and that perhaps he'd rather be the one trooping the line, rather than making px runs and being late with the chow...no one knew what to do...but the commander kept the meeting going...in a word...it made me an instant legend

I was a young SrA assigned to the Horn of Africa section at HQ USCENTCOM J2 during Operation Restore Hope/Continue Hope. We were having a not so busy day (for once!) in the duty section and were cutting up and telling jokes. Apparently, the levity got to me a bit much as the secure phone began ringing. Being the closest member to it, I made a quick grab for the receiver:

Me: "City fire house, you light it, we fight it! How may I help you?"
From the receiver I hear: "Uh, Airman Holt, this is General Hughes. Would you tell the LtCol (who was our section commander) to come to my office. You can come too"

You have no idea how thankful I am that man has a sense of humor!

While stationed at Kadena Okinawa as a munitions troop, I once assisted the weapons guys at the de-arm area at the end of the runway. An F-105 came in from Japan and we proceeded to start the de-arm process, one of which was for the pilot to open the bomb bay doors to check for ordinance. The pilot refused several times, and after being threatened, he finally opened the doors. Inside were six Kawasaki motorcycles. We cleared him and sent him on his way. AS Sgt Shultz would say "we know nothing", Where the bikes wound up, who knows.

Yellowknife Canada, 1986. we were TDY supporting an F-16 squadron doing a training exercise. One night we go to this place called "the float base". It is tequila night and shots are a dollar. the kicker is you have to drink 12 to get the discount. Young SGT Burch can't resist. About an hour later a drunken Canadian is talking trash about americans and young patriotic SGT Burch takes offense and headbutts him. As I am standing over him about to start punching him in the face, his buddy breaks a bar stool across my back. this starts a full on, old school bar brawl. I dive over the bar and crawl out the back door and back to the hotel. The Mounties show up and arrest everyone. they call our LT to go get everyone out of jail and they start blue falconing me. "SGT Burch started the whole thing". I, of course, claim to have been asleep at the hotel the entire time. And since I had paid in cash, cellphones and CCTV didn't exist there was no physical evidence that I had ever been there. Everyone else got 30 days extra duty and I got a stern "talking to" by our LT.