Your best "oh crap" moment?

September 11, 2001.

I was attached to the local 902nd field office from the 513th. It was a nice way for CI agents to get some actual experience while CONUS. I'd been there about three weeks when September 11 happened. Oh crap moment one. Since the universe hates me, the NCOIC was out on medical leave, the specialist actually assigned to the office was in Korea getting married, and the OIC was TDY. Two specialists from the 513th had come over with me, but they had recently graduated from AIT, while I had been out and about for a year, so the chief said I was in charge while he was gone. Suffice it to say I was out of my league. The next 48 were hell.
I guess someone in the 902nd realized that they had no-one in the office but some loaners from another unit that might be called back at anytime so they sent a civilian. More importantly they didn't give him any instructions on what to do. He showed up, ensconced himself in the chief's office and once a day asked for status report on our activities. On the fifteenth, the deputy commanding General for fort Gordon (not an actual General I learned, but still a colonel) came by our office and chewed me out for not attending and contributing to the base force protection cell meetings and briefings in accordance with some SOP that I didn't know about, much less read. Oh Crap moment 2. The only colonel I'd ever talked to up to that point was my father's brigade commander when I was 17 at his retirement ceremony.
Then he told me he wanted to look at our case files and message traffic for the last three days. I told him no. Oh Crap moment 3. I don't think he heard that often. He walked out of the office confused. I was dying inside, I was sure I had just killed my short career. More importantly, that civilian never even opened the door. So the next day I sent a representative to the force protection briefing. I knew the colonel was going to be there, I have to admit I punked out, my smoking habit was up to three packs a day, I was running on cat naps, caffeine, and nicotine.
The soldier I sent came back with a copy of the slides from the briefing. I never looked at them. I was overwhelmed by the walk-ins and calls we were getting. (The Gordon office also covered forts Jackson and Stewart, Hunter AAF, and provided initial reporting for Charleston and kingsbay naval bases. not counting all the reserve and national guard facilities).
The 17th, the chief calls. He hadn't called up until this point. I'm not sure if his TDY was just that important or he thought someone from his unit would have covered it, I can't imagine he thought a PFC and two shake and bake Specialists were swinging this alone. The civilian comes to get me and closes the office door as I walk in. The chief on speaker phone says,"I don't know what's happening, but in five minutes you are getting called by FBI in Atlanta. Give them what they want."
Oh Crap. (I've lost track)
Want to know how out of my pay grade I was? The secretary called me. "Stand by for supervisory special agent Spry." He proceeded to chew me out for thirty minutes over a threat assessment that originated in my office. I couldn't get a word in. He hung up. At that point in my career I'd never heard of a threat assessment, much less done one. Civilian looked at me and shrugged. I asked the two specialists if they had sent any emails or faxes, they said no. I looked this Fbi guy up Dell Spry. head FBI agent for south east region. Also the guy who arrested Aldrich Ames. Much later, after he was gone, I found out the civilian had faxed the slides from that briefing to higher headquarters, and they faxed it on and on and on.
Good times.....

Let me start by saying I have so many of these each funnier than the last. I will start with this one and if you want more ask and I will post more along this same topic. I promise not to disappoint. First if you have ever been to Battle Staff you know this school is mentally challenging the school fails 50% of the students on the first test of the second day. It was the last day and we had to put together a full combat operations plan with all graphics and overlays and I was the battle captain and was to brief. what I did not know was the commandant of the NCO Academy was going to be present that day when I decided to wear the official outfit if you'll notice in the picture I am wearing my talk badge. The briefing is a completely other story and was definitely an oh crap moment when I turned and there was the commandant of the school. The picture explains much

As a recruiter, I was driving in the old G-Jet, and got a call from my BN CDR personally.

"I need you to come to my office right now. Stop whatever you're doing and get up here."

All I thought was damnit. There's enough things a recruiter can get in trouble for, but to step in so deep that the CO wants to address you personally is bad.

I get there, and he says, "We have to call this special agent from the FBI. One of your future Soldiers has a problem."

Oh hell..., so..., we get the guy on the horn, and apparently, my Soldier's wife, who was fully aware that he would leave her when he got his citizenship (he was from Ghana), decided to make some phone calls. She told the FBI that he was an African muslim terrorist that was making threats against the U.S. Once I explained the situation, all was well, and he never committed any acts of terrorism. I kept the poop stained drawers as a souvenir.

I don't know that it's my biggest oh crap moment, but it comes to mind.

I had been out all night at Graf moving from range to range that we had scheduled to occupy them, as we were not going to need them. We got beck into the barracks area about 1100. I had been out for 36 hours. The Company Commander told me that I need to go to the Battalion HQ and report to the BN Commander.
I went over saw the CSM he walked me to the Commanders office. I reported to the Commander and apologized for my appearance he laughed at me and told me that my sequence number was 0013. Shook my hand and told me to get cleaned up and some rest.

I called my wife told her that I was dirty, tired, hungry, horny and promotable. She asked me to repeat that and I started in again when she stopped me and said no the last one. That was how I found out that I was being promoted to SFC and how I told my wife.

Friday and last day of a 4 week field exercise.

On post getting a safety briefing from EVERYONE in my chain of command (to include our full-bird)

Brand spanking new PFC medic, 18yo, straight out of AIT attends all these briefings.

After formation, head back to the aid station. CPL Kinas orders/BEGS her to just stay on post one weekend, and no alcohol at all this weekend (illegal for her freakin' age anyway).

I get a call at 0100 the next morning from her freaking roommate that she was picked up at the freakin front gate for failing a breathalizer and the MPs have her.

My "oh-shit" moment was when i realized I have to meet with her and 1SG Grumpy (not real name) and the MP station.

My ENTIRE weekend was spent at the motor pool watching her sweep the pavement with a push broom. sun-up to sundown one my first days off for a freakin' month. She got better, but I was pissed for a looooooong time.

During WLC when we were doing battle drills, the SGL's would throw smoke. It just so happened that one of the smoke grenades that was thrown caught some of the grass/leaves on fire. Everyone had to stop what they were doing and we were trying to put out this fire by stomping the ground and throwing what ever water we had on it. Other classes saw the fire and got involved and they started throwing their water on this fire. It didn't seem like the fire was that big, maybe 10 feet in diameter, but I remember the heat being very intense. I've never been that close to a brush fire before. Thankfully, we were able to kill the fire. We got very lucky that day.

Can't believe I'm going to say this but here goes...I'm a young SSG at Ft Riley, KS and we are doing a field exercise and well things got a little hot. I'm using an arty simulator in high grass that is extremely dry and well the results were explosive. Before I knew it the grass around me, my Kevlar helmet and my MBITR were all on fire. Thankfully my LT looked down saw this and several Soldiers came to my rescue. Before we knew it half the darn training area was on fire and well I was missing my eyebrows..a fact 1SG Jason Fitzpatrick will never let me live down. Thankfully the only injury was my pride and eyebrows of course but at least I didn't owe money!

I was painting the Admiral's cabin on the ship, getting ready for him to embark the next day. After I pealed off some masking tape I wadded it up and put it on the newspaper I laid down to protect the carpet. I saw that I missed a spot and got on my knees to do a fast touch up. When I was getting back up, I flipped over the can and got paint all over his carpet.

August 1990 somewhere around Dhahrhan, Saudi Arabia. I'm in the back of a Deuce and half traveling down the road in a convoy with the 507th Maintenance Company. Every time we make a left turn the truck shudders and you can feel a thumping go thru the vehicle. We eventually stop and try to find out what the deal is. We look at the left front wheel and discover the it is being held on by one lug nut. The others had rattled off and the last was ready to shear off. I was that close to being a casualty during Desert Shield. Probably not the best "oh crap" moment but i figured you guys don't want to hear about the time I was in the 507th's CDR's truck when we wrecked it and totaled it out. The front axle was under my seat when I got out the truck but that's another story and it will cost you a drink.

Anytime my CSM sends me an email or through someone else to "come see him" its an oh crap moment lol.