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22: That is the number of veterans that END their lives every day. That is 8,030 veterans that are no longer with us come December 31, 2014. Too many veterans are dying each year and we need to do better as a nation to battle this statistic. I, for one, almost became part of that statistic last year. I was lucky my wife somehow figured out something was not right because the VA did not help me. Instead, they kept me on a zip-lock bag of medications that I told them made me feel numb and zombie-like. The medications were the reason I was ready to take my own life. They said my medications were not the problem, I just needed to get used to the “new me”. I almost accepted their reasoning, and it would have killed me if I did.
The big problem is the stigma that goes with mental health problems. I just heard someone say the other day, “people who commit or attempt suicide are some of the weakest people.” No, we are not. Some of us have been in dark places for years and ultimately see no light at the end of the tunnel. We think the only way to feel better and alleviate the burden on our families is to end our own lives. In my mind, the stigma won’t ever leave until the whole country is educated about the mindsets of suicidal people.
We need to be more proactive in our treatments of depression and mental sickness. We need to be educated on the side effects of the medicines prescribed to us. I was guilty of taking whatever the VA prescribed me without question. It seemed like for the first 2 months, every time I turned around, more medications kept being added to battle the side effects of another. Or they would ask, “Are you still angry?” and I would say yes, so they would keep upping the dosage.
I ask you all to be a good friend and look for the red flags. If you wondering what some red flags may be, I would say listen to “Red Flags” by Soldier Hard. It is a great song that will educate those who don’t really know what to look for. Don’t be afraid to talk to your friend if he looks like he needs help – realize that a veteran who seems like he is going to hurt himself, wants and needs help whether or not he admits it. I can tell you I was afraid to admit I needed help because I felt it made me look weak.
From my personal experience, I felt lost in life because after retirement, I felt like I lost who I was. To me, I was BU2(SCW) Ferretti - Navy Seabee. I did not know how to be Corey Ferretti as a civilian. I also felt like I lost my mission in life and I could not easily get hired. When I finally did get hired, I had troubles adjusting to working there since it was so different than everything I knew. They were great employers, but I just walked out because I could not deal with my own life. I think if more veterans knew to focus on finding a new mission in life once they got out, it would help them so much. There are many veteran-focused groups out there, like Team Rubicon for example, who provide disaster relief. Find something that you love and find a way to make it your work. For me, horses saved my life. I am now apprenticing as a Farrier - I have a lot to learn, but I get to work with horses every day and they are my therapy.
I’m sure there are others on RallyPoint who wouldn’t mind sharing their stories in order to help those who might be in a bad place but don’t want to bring it up. If you’re in a bad place, I would be happy to talk more about my story if you have any questions. A question to other veterans: how have you found your new “life mission” after leaving service?
The big problem is the stigma that goes with mental health problems. I just heard someone say the other day, “people who commit or attempt suicide are some of the weakest people.” No, we are not. Some of us have been in dark places for years and ultimately see no light at the end of the tunnel. We think the only way to feel better and alleviate the burden on our families is to end our own lives. In my mind, the stigma won’t ever leave until the whole country is educated about the mindsets of suicidal people.
We need to be more proactive in our treatments of depression and mental sickness. We need to be educated on the side effects of the medicines prescribed to us. I was guilty of taking whatever the VA prescribed me without question. It seemed like for the first 2 months, every time I turned around, more medications kept being added to battle the side effects of another. Or they would ask, “Are you still angry?” and I would say yes, so they would keep upping the dosage.
I ask you all to be a good friend and look for the red flags. If you wondering what some red flags may be, I would say listen to “Red Flags” by Soldier Hard. It is a great song that will educate those who don’t really know what to look for. Don’t be afraid to talk to your friend if he looks like he needs help – realize that a veteran who seems like he is going to hurt himself, wants and needs help whether or not he admits it. I can tell you I was afraid to admit I needed help because I felt it made me look weak.
From my personal experience, I felt lost in life because after retirement, I felt like I lost who I was. To me, I was BU2(SCW) Ferretti - Navy Seabee. I did not know how to be Corey Ferretti as a civilian. I also felt like I lost my mission in life and I could not easily get hired. When I finally did get hired, I had troubles adjusting to working there since it was so different than everything I knew. They were great employers, but I just walked out because I could not deal with my own life. I think if more veterans knew to focus on finding a new mission in life once they got out, it would help them so much. There are many veteran-focused groups out there, like Team Rubicon for example, who provide disaster relief. Find something that you love and find a way to make it your work. For me, horses saved my life. I am now apprenticing as a Farrier - I have a lot to learn, but I get to work with horses every day and they are my therapy.
I’m sure there are others on RallyPoint who wouldn’t mind sharing their stories in order to help those who might be in a bad place but don’t want to bring it up. If you’re in a bad place, I would be happy to talk more about my story if you have any questions. A question to other veterans: how have you found your new “life mission” after leaving service?
Posted >1 y ago
Responses: 71
Pray, check on a buddy, listen, call your congressman and tell him or her to stop funding middle east countried and fund mental health.
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What a tragedy and the worst part is this is not in the main stream media's focus.... instead less important events like who is wearing what dress in the Hollywood Elite or who is dating whom...clearly misplaced priorities....we need to focus and put the spot light on this national tragedy!!!
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It seems it is how veterans are instead of how suicide can be prevented.
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I have considered, more times than I care to admit, having seriously considered killing myself for one reason or another. I think that many veterans feel put out by their government, that they feel those in the highest tiers of the government, don't care about their wounds whether they be internal or external. Worst yet when I left that active duty military ranks, there were a lot of things that no one told me about as far as getting help and becoming a productive member of the civilian community. I was still very young and couldn't have known the right questions to ask and that made the whole thing even more difficult. The desire to hurt myself these days has become more rare; not because of medications or support groups, but because I have something worth living for now. What would I like to see done for my brothers and sisters still out there serving? That they never have to be burdened with the many questions that I was left with and that the government starts to take veterans more seriously.
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PO2 Corey Ferretti
Thank you for sharing your story. Yes i think in alot of ways the military fails us in our transition out. It was one of my biggest struggles. i got out at 28 i still did not know all the questions to ask because i joined at 18. im glad you are still here and thank you for sharing your story.
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1 a day is too high. 22 is a tragic crime that should not be hidden from the Nation.
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SSG Jim Foreman
It's a number I think of every day. It's a number that makes me sad. It's a number that reminds me to call my battle buddy. Stay strong my Brothers and Sisters, we will win this war.
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Critical legislation that would address the epidemic of veteran suicide was blocked in the Senate by a lone senator two days ago. The Clay Hunt Suicide Prevention for American Veterans (SAV) Act was effectively shut down by Senator Tom Coburn (R-Okla), an outgoing senator who seems to actually revel in his status as a senator that blocks legislation.
Funny, Senator Coburn sure as hell voted to send us to Iraq and Afghanistan, but when it comes time to support veterans he spits in our face. Send 'em to war, boys! Screw 'em if they make it home! Personally I'd endorse an executive order mandating that Senator Coburn personally dig the graves of every veteran who commits suicide. No, not hyperbole either.
Funny, Senator Coburn sure as hell voted to send us to Iraq and Afghanistan, but when it comes time to support veterans he spits in our face. Send 'em to war, boys! Screw 'em if they make it home! Personally I'd endorse an executive order mandating that Senator Coburn personally dig the graves of every veteran who commits suicide. No, not hyperbole either.
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PO2 Corey Ferretti
Do you have a link for this i cant find it and would like to read up on this. I heard about it. Sorry SSG Tim Everett i have been buys and seems i have missed some peoples comments.
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SSG Tim Everett
The Man Who Killed The Bill To Combat Veterans Suicide
The long-delayed Clay Hunt Suicide Prevention Act failed to pass in the Senate, and departing Oklahoma Republican Sen. Tom Coburn is the man to blame.
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Sgt Adam Jennings
Anytime guys, this kid something that means a lot to me. If mine learned one thing since I got out it is that no one cares about us other than other veterans and family.
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PO2 Corey Ferretti
I fat finger things all the time haha. You are right i started to realize that shortly after getting out that no one really cares about us. They say they do but really it is more pitty then sincere.
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PO2 Corey Ferretti Thank you for having the courage to share your story with us. I don't know why but I am almost indifferent to most of societie's woes. However, whenever I read about the trials and tribulations that our service members and fellow veterans deal with just to get treatment from the VA it always brings tears of rage to my eyes.
I personally have avoided contact with the VA as much as I can, having seen first hand the BS my mother has had to deal with from the VA.
I've made a resolution that in the coming years I will become actively involved in helping vets in need be it from depression/PTS or homelessness. I think vets should be able to look to each other for help and the system can be damned.
I think it's awesome that you've found working with horses to be therapeutic! Bravo Zulu my brother!
I personally have avoided contact with the VA as much as I can, having seen first hand the BS my mother has had to deal with from the VA.
I've made a resolution that in the coming years I will become actively involved in helping vets in need be it from depression/PTS or homelessness. I think vets should be able to look to each other for help and the system can be damned.
I think it's awesome that you've found working with horses to be therapeutic! Bravo Zulu my brother!
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PO2 Corey Ferretti
Thank you PO3 (Join to see) for taking the time to read my post and respond. Yes I now do a majority of my care outside of the VA because i have the insurance to do so i also use our VET Center it is a great place that is affiliated with the VA but is not the VA. The VA does have it strengths but i think there weakness falls with in the mental heath side of the house. I hope you are able to get involved as much as you can that is a great resolution brother.
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PO3 (Join to see)
I lost a good friend of mine to suicide in September just a week before his 29th birthday. We did not see it coming.
This is a poem I wrote and read at his service. It was the hardest thing I've ever done.
Inner Struggle
A proud Navy solider you once stood.
Where the sea became home and fellow sailors become family.
Honor, Courage, and commitment are the motto you lived by.
There was honor in your words, courage in your eyes, and commitment in your heart.
Once the mission was complete all you wanted was to come back to the life you once knew.
Unfortunately the world was a different place.
The family you left behind was not as it once was.
Everyone had grown and started families of their own.
You never quit adapted back into civilian life
The future looked uncertain but you continued your search.
Your determinations lead to a position with the Sheriff’s department.
Perhaps this would fulfill the void?
Unaware of the demons you fought inside,
Family and friends congratulated you and felt you would be alright.
We ask ourselves how you hid it so well, you’re lost and struggling soul.
There was never a dull moment when you were around.
That smile was contagious and could light up a room.
You had a huge heart and a caring personality.
But now your spirit is free to soar from the fear that gripped so tight
May your tortured mind be calm and you find the peace you longed for.
And may the music of the angels be the sweet sounds that you hear.
The world has truly lost a wonderful man you will be greatly missed. Your memory will live
On and your service and bravery to our country will never be forgotten.
We love you Jacob
This is a poem I wrote and read at his service. It was the hardest thing I've ever done.
Inner Struggle
A proud Navy solider you once stood.
Where the sea became home and fellow sailors become family.
Honor, Courage, and commitment are the motto you lived by.
There was honor in your words, courage in your eyes, and commitment in your heart.
Once the mission was complete all you wanted was to come back to the life you once knew.
Unfortunately the world was a different place.
The family you left behind was not as it once was.
Everyone had grown and started families of their own.
You never quit adapted back into civilian life
The future looked uncertain but you continued your search.
Your determinations lead to a position with the Sheriff’s department.
Perhaps this would fulfill the void?
Unaware of the demons you fought inside,
Family and friends congratulated you and felt you would be alright.
We ask ourselves how you hid it so well, you’re lost and struggling soul.
There was never a dull moment when you were around.
That smile was contagious and could light up a room.
You had a huge heart and a caring personality.
But now your spirit is free to soar from the fear that gripped so tight
May your tortured mind be calm and you find the peace you longed for.
And may the music of the angels be the sweet sounds that you hear.
The world has truly lost a wonderful man you will be greatly missed. Your memory will live
On and your service and bravery to our country will never be forgotten.
We love you Jacob
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PO2 Corey Ferretti
PO3 (Join to see) that was a beautiful poem thank you for sharing and i am sorry for you loss. Keep your head up Seabee
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I had no idea! I don't know anyone that I served with who chose to end their life. It's not common for my MOS to experience direct combat, so that may be why.
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PO2 Corey Ferretti
Sgt Terry Hall this was not just directed on combat veterans. Mental illness does not know deployments. Although most of the friends i have lost to suicide have all been combat veterans this is not just limited to them.
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I once called our hotline to request an appointment. I was given the run around and they were talking next month. I replied today, because I don't think I will be here tomorrow unless I get help. I got an appointment. I had to drive 20 miles to see the counselor. I had made up my mind that if I encountered a semi on the way I was going to cross the centerline into its path.
Thankfully I did not encounter one.
Folks, if you need help reach out NOW.
Thankfully I did not encounter one.
Folks, if you need help reach out NOW.
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