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Don't Ask for a Mentor- Ask for Advice !
Mentorship is the voluntary developmental relationship the exists between a person of greater experience and a person of lessor experience that is characterized by mutual trust and respect. (AR 600-100)
There is no predetermined manner in which one enters into a Mentor-Mentee relationship. You generally do not ask for mentorship, it is a natural unspoken expansion of an existing relationship. Mentorship is a very personal and voluntary evolution based on trust and chemistry. This generally starts with the less experienced member asking for simple advice (Personal or Professional). If the advice given is "Not Awesome" the less experienced person will likely not return for future help. Similarly, if the more experienced person doesn't see potential or feels there are ulterior motives he or she will walk away. However, once a mentorship begins there are three communication decisions to make: Frequency, Medium, and Topics. The needs of the mentee and the maturity of the relationship determines the frequency of interaction. In our experience, the amount of mentorship increases and decreases constantly over time. A pattern also develops on the type of communication (Face to Face/ Phone/ Written). The most effective and efficient method for both parties is critical as their lives and geographic location change. The topics of conversation are limitless, but finding common ground that aligns with the mentor's expertise and the mentee's need is critical to the relationship's growth. Having participated in the mentor/mentee selection and method of communication process no less than 30 times, one thing remained constant in each process. Never have the following words been spoken, "Will you be my mentor?" Each started with someone asking for advice!
Mentorship is the voluntary developmental relationship the exists between a person of greater experience and a person of lessor experience that is characterized by mutual trust and respect. (AR 600-100)
There is no predetermined manner in which one enters into a Mentor-Mentee relationship. You generally do not ask for mentorship, it is a natural unspoken expansion of an existing relationship. Mentorship is a very personal and voluntary evolution based on trust and chemistry. This generally starts with the less experienced member asking for simple advice (Personal or Professional). If the advice given is "Not Awesome" the less experienced person will likely not return for future help. Similarly, if the more experienced person doesn't see potential or feels there are ulterior motives he or she will walk away. However, once a mentorship begins there are three communication decisions to make: Frequency, Medium, and Topics. The needs of the mentee and the maturity of the relationship determines the frequency of interaction. In our experience, the amount of mentorship increases and decreases constantly over time. A pattern also develops on the type of communication (Face to Face/ Phone/ Written). The most effective and efficient method for both parties is critical as their lives and geographic location change. The topics of conversation are limitless, but finding common ground that aligns with the mentor's expertise and the mentee's need is critical to the relationship's growth. Having participated in the mentor/mentee selection and method of communication process no less than 30 times, one thing remained constant in each process. Never have the following words been spoken, "Will you be my mentor?" Each started with someone asking for advice!
Posted 10 y ago
Responses: 26
When looking for mentors, don't fall into the trap of looking only at those higher in rank than you are, which is especially relevant to my fellow officers. Over my career, many of my best mentors have and remain NCOs, even relatively junior NCOs.
I'm a chemical officer and was a Korean linguistic and PSYOP specialist in my enlisted days. When I was given the privilege of commanding a long-haul transportation company (M915) I jumped at the chance despite knowing nothing whatsoever about transportation or trucking. My mentors were the E-7 truck master and an E-5 master driver, among others. Sure the BN commander and S3 were also mentors, but it was from those NCOs that I learned how to accomplish my unit's mission.
Most precious of all was that E-5, who taught me how to drive a big-rig and build my skills sufficiently to get licensed on the M915 and then followed her advice and drove in every convoy that time allowed.
I'm a chemical officer and was a Korean linguistic and PSYOP specialist in my enlisted days. When I was given the privilege of commanding a long-haul transportation company (M915) I jumped at the chance despite knowing nothing whatsoever about transportation or trucking. My mentors were the E-7 truck master and an E-5 master driver, among others. Sure the BN commander and S3 were also mentors, but it was from those NCOs that I learned how to accomplish my unit's mission.
Most precious of all was that E-5, who taught me how to drive a big-rig and build my skills sufficiently to get licensed on the M915 and then followed her advice and drove in every convoy that time allowed.
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You aren't limited to one. You can have mentors for different things. Some that are senior in your field, others for getting through difficult assignments and others for work-life balance.
I also think it's beneficial to have officer-enlisted mentorships. With their vast experience, many senior enlisted have much to offer both senior and junior officers.
I also think it's beneficial to have officer-enlisted mentorships. With their vast experience, many senior enlisted have much to offer both senior and junior officers.
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Ususally you are assigned a mentor so its never the individuals choice. But i do know with 100% certainty that in the Marine Corps the Mentee is suppose to choose their mentor. But noone follows the order. Everyone just does what the crowd does.
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The Navy has a mentorship program at most commands where you have to find some outside of your work center that is a higher rank with similar life goals. It's works ok. I would think that the other branches had something similar. But if not it really is as easy as asking someone you respect that is decently successful in life.
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I was a certified mentor in VA. At the time, it was as easy as asking if they would be one's mentor. Each mentor had their own preferences and styles. For me, I wanted to know the mentee's aspirations, their expectation and their willingness to put in the time. It took time for both mentor and mentee, however, it helped both. I say, find someone you believe holds the qualities you are interested in and ask. The worse they can say is no. But to ask will also give them a sense of pride that you value their leadership and hopefully put you in good favor with them. Look at your organization and see who are the movers and shakers. Look to see who demonstrates a successful outlook. Reach for the stars. No harm in asking the CEO if that's who you are interested in mentoring under.
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