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As leaders, we should automatically respect our subordinates at all times. There is a stark difference between leadership and dictatorship. As soon as the leaders in the military figure this out, they will notice a peak in the retention rate of their Soldiers.
I have communicated with over 300 Soldiers who are eligible to extend their enlistment contract within the past few months and was shocked to hear the responses from some of them. One Soldier mentioned, “I would remain in the military but cannot understand why I’m getting cursed out when asked to do something. I am a grown man!” I asked this same Soldier if he’d discuss with his leaders the disrespect he feels and he said that he had spoken with them about it. My final question to him was, “So what did they say?” He replied, “They said that I am a Soldier and if I can’t handle it, get out!”
As a leader myself, I apologized to this Soldier and informed him that some leaders are called leaders because of their position or title, not because of their leadership. I then annotated in the retention book that he was not going to extend his contract but instead, leave the military because of the disrespect from his leadership.
Must a Soldier be a Chaplain to get respected? Can a Soldier who informs his or her chain of command that the speaking of profanity is against their religion be provided the same respect that a chaplain receives? Should fellow Soldiers respect these Soldiers? To me, the answer is quite simple. We should.
I am one of these Soldiers. I am a non-paid minister at a local church. The Soldiers who are aware of this duty respect the fact I am a Soldier and a minister. I've expressed to others that I would like for them to be themselves while in my presence, as I would perceive unrealism if they would change their talk, speech, or attitude just because I was standing around in the vicinity. Some disagreed but others said okay and would use profanity as if I’m not around. It didn’t then and doesn’t bother me a bit. However, there might be Soldiers that are affected by vulgar and demeaning language and I believe this should be respected.
If smoking a cigarette around a non-smoker is a sign of disrespect, I believe using profanity around a non-profanity speaker falls within the same guidelines if the Soldier speaks up. Leaders must understand that profanity can be damning to a lot of people. The “F” word has been known to cause havoc, begin fights, and unfortunately result in someone being killed. To tell a Soldier to deal with the disrespect because you're a Soldier is unacceptable.
This is not a new Army. Respect began when the Army began.
I have communicated with over 300 Soldiers who are eligible to extend their enlistment contract within the past few months and was shocked to hear the responses from some of them. One Soldier mentioned, “I would remain in the military but cannot understand why I’m getting cursed out when asked to do something. I am a grown man!” I asked this same Soldier if he’d discuss with his leaders the disrespect he feels and he said that he had spoken with them about it. My final question to him was, “So what did they say?” He replied, “They said that I am a Soldier and if I can’t handle it, get out!”
As a leader myself, I apologized to this Soldier and informed him that some leaders are called leaders because of their position or title, not because of their leadership. I then annotated in the retention book that he was not going to extend his contract but instead, leave the military because of the disrespect from his leadership.
Must a Soldier be a Chaplain to get respected? Can a Soldier who informs his or her chain of command that the speaking of profanity is against their religion be provided the same respect that a chaplain receives? Should fellow Soldiers respect these Soldiers? To me, the answer is quite simple. We should.
I am one of these Soldiers. I am a non-paid minister at a local church. The Soldiers who are aware of this duty respect the fact I am a Soldier and a minister. I've expressed to others that I would like for them to be themselves while in my presence, as I would perceive unrealism if they would change their talk, speech, or attitude just because I was standing around in the vicinity. Some disagreed but others said okay and would use profanity as if I’m not around. It didn’t then and doesn’t bother me a bit. However, there might be Soldiers that are affected by vulgar and demeaning language and I believe this should be respected.
If smoking a cigarette around a non-smoker is a sign of disrespect, I believe using profanity around a non-profanity speaker falls within the same guidelines if the Soldier speaks up. Leaders must understand that profanity can be damning to a lot of people. The “F” word has been known to cause havoc, begin fights, and unfortunately result in someone being killed. To tell a Soldier to deal with the disrespect because you're a Soldier is unacceptable.
This is not a new Army. Respect began when the Army began.
Religion
Respect
Values
Command Post
Edited >1 y ago
Posted >1 y ago
Responses: 97
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I have all kinds of leadership since being in the military and since I was alittle bit older than most of the people I served with I expected that if I showed you respect that I would get it in return. I can say that I did have those leaders that would jump down my throat, but if they did than it was for a reason and I understood that. As long as they were professional about it than I had no issues, but if they went over the point that they were unprofessional I spoke up using a respectful and tactful response. The best team leader I had was a very blunt CPL from Massachusetts, who would correct us in a heart beat but was professional when doing it. People always thought he was a dick, but as long as you were doing what you were suppose to do than you would have no issues. A lot of people I think confuse someone who blunt and to the point with being unprofessional, and that comes from the younger generation that has never been told "NO" by their parents as they were growing up. Now as an NCO I do not care if my soldiers think I am dick when I jump on them for doing something they were told not do, because I know that I am not that type of leader who is unprofessional with my soldiers.
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MSG Miles, if this isnt already known in todays military to respect at all spectrums of rank then it never will be, the Army has changed a lot since I was enlisted and it seems more adept to boy scouts or baby setting from what I have been told, being able to tell a NCO they need to back off or take a "time out" or drop 1st and prove to a lower enlisted that they can do the push ups before they require the soldier to do them??? just who is running this dog and pony show anymore?? Much like todays society the Military has become too lax if this is really the way its being ran now. What you will wind up with are soldiers who pretty much do what they want when they want and the chain of command is more or less there to collect a paycheck, pretty much like the German Army, I almost fell over from laughing at the way they do this 9-5 job thing they call active duty.
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Yeah, some profanity and non-PC jokes everyone should handle, but at the same time, leadership should try to oblige people's feelings if it isn't inconvenient and delegate strongly enough to have the time to make sure they can remind their subordinates that they care about and respect them and to listen to and heed their concerns. As a cadet (right now), I've been advised that LTs, at least, notoriously are excessively harsh because they feel insecure in their authority. If I'm being a dick or being stupid, I will need not just my nearest NCO, but lowest Airman/Private to tell me so (politely, if time allows), or else I'm being a detriment to the mission and their well-being. Feeling disrespected should never be a reason someone ops not to renew their contract.
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MSG (Join to see)
"Feeling disrespected should never be a reason someone ops not to renew their contract." I could not agree more! I chose his stance to bring up the point about leaders respecting our Soldiers regardless of their rank and age.
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People need to learn the difference between being an NCO and a Sergeant; A Sergeant gets paid, NCO's lead and are consistent with their soldiers and conduct himself/herself at all times to bring credit upon the corp of NCO's, Military Service as well as her or his Comrades, keeping consistency, loyalty, reliability at the home, front, and unit. But, on the other side of this, a soldier also has to be adult enough to resolve a conflict if using the chain of command does not work. We have all had piss poor leadership, and it's worse as a civilian, you cannot judge the entirety of the Military based on one piss poor douche bag. There are always going to be PCS's, different units, to judge the military based on your experience in one unit is like judging a church based on the mentality of a few people in the congregation.
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Respect is a two way street. The men I led trusted me as they knew I would fight for their liberty and any promises made to them by those above me in the chain of command. I treated my superiors with respect, even when they did not deserve it, because that was the example I wanted my men to see. We learn to lead by men who lead by example. I respect all who have given up a part of their lives and their physical/mental well being in service to this country. I just wish our government showed the same sort of honor and integrity that our military has shown since its beginnings. Maybe if members of our government (all three branches) actually served in the military they would learn some strongly needed integrity that is much needed in Capitol Hill. Until we get some true leadership and integrity in all three branches I prefer to refer to Washington DC as "Crapitol Hill". If our government got paid for doing their job, they would actually owe the American taxpayer!
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There are moments for reward as there are moments for punishment with that in mind, respect goes a long way. First we need to understand what is respect. Respect is an Army value that is required for everyone to lived up too. it is treating others as we will like to be treated, it is what allows us to see the best on others... it is important to respect because it builds trust. I will have to disagree with some of the comments, respect is not asking please to accomplish a mission, there are many situations that there is no room for please. I will not ask a Soldier to please place fires on the objective or to jump out of an aircraft in flight. Asking please is just a polite way to do things while respect is ensuring you care of others doing what is expected from you and not demanding what others can not accomplish. There are times to be polite and there is time to place a boot in someone behind, I guarantee that regardless which one, others will respect you for who you are and not for how polite you can be. "Suck it up and drive on and I will lead our way home"
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MSG (Join to see)
I don't know where the word "Please" appeared because that's not a military word as far as I'm concerned. I agree with you on getting the job done while providing a directive. That's military 101. Does it require profanity to do it? Well if you're a curser you'd probably say yes and I have no problem with it just as long as you don't disrespect my, well a Soldier.
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SFC Nestor Nievesmoran
I do not believe that cursing is the answer to make things happen. A professional leaders will earn other people respect for who they are and his action will earn the trust. Cursing is a lack of self control and it said lots of a person. However there are moments that it push other to react weather is High risk or life threatening situation.
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I would say that today's military has developed a bad habit of recognizing someone's ability only after accomplishing feats and being recognized by higher echelon leadership above the Soldier's unit. An even bigger problem is that the expectation of the Soldier's ability to contribute is dependant upon their rank. I have seen the disrespect upon Soldiers of lower ranks despite their age. Today's military is different than 20 - 30 years ago. Separation of ability in case of education was very distinguishable between enlisted and officers. Not so much today. I have seen Sergeants with Master's persuing their Doctorate and certifications from previous civilian employments. The Army is employing these great assets and placing them but then sadly I think not being utilized as they should. From my perspective, I see the senior company grade to field grade officers being the most guilty of exposing their biases.
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SFC Joseph Galvin
Well spoken. I'd have to agree with you. I've seen and experienced some of the biases. I don't let it prevent me from completing my missions. I drive on with the mission at hand. Sooner than later hopefully someone will recognize the biases and implement changes before it's too late.
Well spoken. I'd have to agree with you. I've seen and experienced some of the biases. I don't let it prevent me from completing my missions. I drive on with the mission at hand. Sooner than later hopefully someone will recognize the biases and implement changes before it's too late.
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I always think of Respect and Cursing as a direct reflection on my Parents and, Grade schoo; teachers.
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SP5 Tom Carlson
I tthhink we are getting to point,,,, cursing is one thing,,, but using to demean a subordinate especially in front of others is a total NO NO...
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Many view foul language as a sign of ignorance. My experience suggests that when used correctly, it can leave a lasting impression. This is important because any lesson that sticks with you is a lesson learned. I don't remember one calm conversation that involved a leader explaining sweetly what I did wrong. I do, however, remember every time that I've been punched in the face. An effective use of colorful language lies somewhere in the middle.
I personally do my best to leave the four letter variety out of my pattern of speech, but I work hard to weave my verbal tapestry in such a way that it leaves a stamp on the lives of my Soldiers. Such a stamp helps them to retrieve my (hopefully) sage advice when necessary in life.
I remember my drill instructors using some such phrases, that are still with me 18 years later. I have the upmost respect for them, and don't believe for one second they were ignorant or stupid.
I personally do my best to leave the four letter variety out of my pattern of speech, but I work hard to weave my verbal tapestry in such a way that it leaves a stamp on the lives of my Soldiers. Such a stamp helps them to retrieve my (hopefully) sage advice when necessary in life.
I remember my drill instructors using some such phrases, that are still with me 18 years later. I have the upmost respect for them, and don't believe for one second they were ignorant or stupid.
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SFC Walter Mack
Let's phrase it this way. Good leadership is hard to define. Troops know it when they see it. To say the use of foul language makes a poor leader is complete stupidity. There are some outstanding leaders that are known to let loose with some coarse language. I've also known some leaders that don't ever utter an obscenity that absolutely suck at leading men. Foul language in and of itself doesn't mean beans as a leadership indicator. Go to the Soldiers and judge their effectiveness and professionalism. This is indicative of their leadership. Results matter.
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MSG (Join to see)
SFC Walter Mack, results matter because that's what we as leaders are selected to achieve. However, as SCPO Larry Knight mentioned, there is a right way and a wrong way. One cannot and should not (as a leader) disregard the respect factor because he wants to accomplish a specific mission when he/she as a leader can get the same result while respecting the subordinate. In other words, don't demean a subordinate just because you can and just because you have the rank and/or just because our leaders treated you in such a way that you're going to follow suit.
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SFC Walter Mack
It is an incorrect assumption that foul language is always disrespectful and demeaning. I can be disrespectful and demeaning as a leader without using any foul language. I've had many leaders belittle their subordinates without it. In many career fields, both inside and outside of the military, foul language is just part of the vernacular. If you leave the military and work for an oil company, I hope you don't expect them to be respectful of a desire to not hear those four letter words.
Once again, I will reiterate that foul language in and of itself is not indicative of leadership, either good or bad. When one focuses solely on foul language, and gets butthurt every time someone offends their ears, this can create a negative working environment just as well as anything else. We should teach our service members to focus on intent. Just because I deliver a mean and belittling message with no foul language makes me no less the jerk.
Once again, I will reiterate that foul language in and of itself is not indicative of leadership, either good or bad. When one focuses solely on foul language, and gets butthurt every time someone offends their ears, this can create a negative working environment just as well as anything else. We should teach our service members to focus on intent. Just because I deliver a mean and belittling message with no foul language makes me no less the jerk.
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