69
66
3
As leaders, we should automatically respect our subordinates at all times. There is a stark difference between leadership and dictatorship. As soon as the leaders in the military figure this out, they will notice a peak in the retention rate of their Soldiers.
I have communicated with over 300 Soldiers who are eligible to extend their enlistment contract within the past few months and was shocked to hear the responses from some of them. One Soldier mentioned, “I would remain in the military but cannot understand why I’m getting cursed out when asked to do something. I am a grown man!” I asked this same Soldier if he’d discuss with his leaders the disrespect he feels and he said that he had spoken with them about it. My final question to him was, “So what did they say?” He replied, “They said that I am a Soldier and if I can’t handle it, get out!”
As a leader myself, I apologized to this Soldier and informed him that some leaders are called leaders because of their position or title, not because of their leadership. I then annotated in the retention book that he was not going to extend his contract but instead, leave the military because of the disrespect from his leadership.
Must a Soldier be a Chaplain to get respected? Can a Soldier who informs his or her chain of command that the speaking of profanity is against their religion be provided the same respect that a chaplain receives? Should fellow Soldiers respect these Soldiers? To me, the answer is quite simple. We should.
I am one of these Soldiers. I am a non-paid minister at a local church. The Soldiers who are aware of this duty respect the fact I am a Soldier and a minister. I've expressed to others that I would like for them to be themselves while in my presence, as I would perceive unrealism if they would change their talk, speech, or attitude just because I was standing around in the vicinity. Some disagreed but others said okay and would use profanity as if I’m not around. It didn’t then and doesn’t bother me a bit. However, there might be Soldiers that are affected by vulgar and demeaning language and I believe this should be respected.
If smoking a cigarette around a non-smoker is a sign of disrespect, I believe using profanity around a non-profanity speaker falls within the same guidelines if the Soldier speaks up. Leaders must understand that profanity can be damning to a lot of people. The “F” word has been known to cause havoc, begin fights, and unfortunately result in someone being killed. To tell a Soldier to deal with the disrespect because you're a Soldier is unacceptable.
This is not a new Army. Respect began when the Army began.
I have communicated with over 300 Soldiers who are eligible to extend their enlistment contract within the past few months and was shocked to hear the responses from some of them. One Soldier mentioned, “I would remain in the military but cannot understand why I’m getting cursed out when asked to do something. I am a grown man!” I asked this same Soldier if he’d discuss with his leaders the disrespect he feels and he said that he had spoken with them about it. My final question to him was, “So what did they say?” He replied, “They said that I am a Soldier and if I can’t handle it, get out!”
As a leader myself, I apologized to this Soldier and informed him that some leaders are called leaders because of their position or title, not because of their leadership. I then annotated in the retention book that he was not going to extend his contract but instead, leave the military because of the disrespect from his leadership.
Must a Soldier be a Chaplain to get respected? Can a Soldier who informs his or her chain of command that the speaking of profanity is against their religion be provided the same respect that a chaplain receives? Should fellow Soldiers respect these Soldiers? To me, the answer is quite simple. We should.
I am one of these Soldiers. I am a non-paid minister at a local church. The Soldiers who are aware of this duty respect the fact I am a Soldier and a minister. I've expressed to others that I would like for them to be themselves while in my presence, as I would perceive unrealism if they would change their talk, speech, or attitude just because I was standing around in the vicinity. Some disagreed but others said okay and would use profanity as if I’m not around. It didn’t then and doesn’t bother me a bit. However, there might be Soldiers that are affected by vulgar and demeaning language and I believe this should be respected.
If smoking a cigarette around a non-smoker is a sign of disrespect, I believe using profanity around a non-profanity speaker falls within the same guidelines if the Soldier speaks up. Leaders must understand that profanity can be damning to a lot of people. The “F” word has been known to cause havoc, begin fights, and unfortunately result in someone being killed. To tell a Soldier to deal with the disrespect because you're a Soldier is unacceptable.
This is not a new Army. Respect began when the Army began.
Religion
Respect
Values
Command Post
Edited 11 y ago
Posted >1 y ago
Responses: 95
2
2
0
Great article MSG Miles, you are correct in saying that the disrespect is now rampant in today's military. It's sad to see.
(2)
(0)
MSG (Join to see)
SPC Buckalew, leaders will either get right or get left. LDRSHIP is the acronym for our Army values but yet some leaders want to skip over the "R."
(2)
(0)
2
2
0
It is as simple as knowing your audience. Giving a range brief to my Battalion Commander requires a different speaking style than I'd use when I was out in the field on an exercise with my men. While I'd prefer not to curse at all, sometimes the situation definitely requires the use either as a motivator or a rebuke.
(2)
(0)
MSG (Join to see)
1LT (P) Ahmed Faried, the problem isn't the use of profanity. Profanity doesn't bother me until it is directed at me and towards another. When I hear, "Get your fuc_ing a$$ over here Specialist Jones!" I always ask the question, Could I have received the same result If I said, "Specialist Jones, you need to get here now!" It only becomes and issue when one demeans a subordinate because they outrank them. Cursing at a Soldier doesn't make him or her follow orders. The power and influence of your rank and position compels the Soldier to move.
(1)
(0)
2
2
0
2
2
0
I'm not really certain what this topic has to do with religion. I know of no theological prohibition against profanity. There is, however, a military prohibition against profanity. Indecent language is a specific subarticle of article 134, aptly titled indecent language.
This is a policy issue, and an enforcement issue, not a religious one.
This is a policy issue, and an enforcement issue, not a religious one.
(2)
(0)
SFC Michael Hasbun
What is lewd, obscene, or indecent is completely up to that Commander. Profanity, by definition, fits that bill. Thats what profanity means, profane language.
Still, agreed on the barracks lawyers..
Still, agreed on the barracks lawyers..
(0)
(0)
MSG (Join to see)
SSG Michael Hasbun and Tsgt Richard Miller, I respect your comments. I made the mistake by placing the word Religion in the subject line. It's not about religion. It's about respect. For those of us in the Army, it's the third letter of the acronym LDRSHIP. Don't demean junior Soldiers or subordinates just because you outrank them. Show them some respect. This should be automatic. No, don't appease them and baby them as someone said earlier. Cuss/Curse and use the language that we fight for you to use. Just don't demean another Soldier/service-member while doing it.
(0)
(0)
1LT Nick Kidwell
It is a policy issue, indeed. However, in Christianity, there are numerous New Testament exhortations to refrain from unwholesome speech.
See the following:
Ephesians 4:29
1 Peter 3:10
James 3:9-12
Jesus Himself states that what comes out of your mouth reflects who you are inside (Luke 6:45).
See the following:
Ephesians 4:29
1 Peter 3:10
James 3:9-12
Jesus Himself states that what comes out of your mouth reflects who you are inside (Luke 6:45).
(0)
(0)
SFC Michael Hasbun
Thats more a caution that your words are a reflection of you, which I agree completely with... Not really a prohibition on specific words. The UCMJ is a bit more strict and specific...
(0)
(0)
Suspended Profile
Sure, using derogatory statements and cursing is not going to be an effective communication method. That said, the Army is built for a purpose, to kill an enemy during War, this means by default it will attract men and women who hold varying systems of belief. These beliefs differ, and as a result you get friction.
Leadership is surely a two-way street, and it does include mutual respect. So, if a soldier advises his superior that he/she does not like to be cursed at then that superior has a choice to make, either show mutual respect or ignore the request.
The reality of military service is such that many (not all) use a certain aggressive communication style, it gets built-in and as a result f-bombs and various other expletives are used in-place of more civilized forms.
My advice is this, for anyone truly wanting to be a senior Leader in today's military they should learn to adjust their communication style to reflect the more professional nature of today's military. An intelligent person usually senses when others' in their presence are agreeable to gutter-speak.
Frankly, I curse, but not around most people as I know how offensive most people find it.
Last, this will always be an issue, many individuals are emotionally sensitive to words, while this is not good for them it does not obviate the fact that a good leader should be aware of their own level of professionalism at all times.
It seems to me that any Soldier who "wants" to stay in the military and serve will find a way to adjust and do so. Any Soldier who "wants" to find an excuse to leave will do the same.
At the end of the day I simply do not have sympathy for anyone who cannot stand-up for themselves. I had my own woodshed event as a Private when I told my NCO to f-off, this was back in the day of course. It did however quickly teach me who I could and could not tell off...
Leadership is surely a two-way street, and it does include mutual respect. So, if a soldier advises his superior that he/she does not like to be cursed at then that superior has a choice to make, either show mutual respect or ignore the request.
The reality of military service is such that many (not all) use a certain aggressive communication style, it gets built-in and as a result f-bombs and various other expletives are used in-place of more civilized forms.
My advice is this, for anyone truly wanting to be a senior Leader in today's military they should learn to adjust their communication style to reflect the more professional nature of today's military. An intelligent person usually senses when others' in their presence are agreeable to gutter-speak.
Frankly, I curse, but not around most people as I know how offensive most people find it.
Last, this will always be an issue, many individuals are emotionally sensitive to words, while this is not good for them it does not obviate the fact that a good leader should be aware of their own level of professionalism at all times.
It seems to me that any Soldier who "wants" to stay in the military and serve will find a way to adjust and do so. Any Soldier who "wants" to find an excuse to leave will do the same.
At the end of the day I simply do not have sympathy for anyone who cannot stand-up for themselves. I had my own woodshed event as a Private when I told my NCO to f-off, this was back in the day of course. It did however quickly teach me who I could and could not tell off...
MSG (Join to see)
SGT S, well spoken. I do not like those who cannot stand up for themselves either but only if they're an E-5 and above. Sergeants by definition are leaders. I will get off in an E-5 through E-7's butt for using their rank to abuse a junior Soldier just because they can. Profanity doesn't bother me and I'm a minister. However, I will continue to state that we can leave the word religion out of the picture and just focus on respect. I'm not talking battlefield jargon. I'm speaking of respect when we're in Garrison.
(3)
(0)
1SG David Spalding
Bingo MSG! It's a leader's job to look out for the welfare of his/her troops, PERIOD! There have been a hundred revisions of AR/FM/ADP etc for leadership, but BLUF, NCOs train their Soldiers, Lead their Soldiers, and Look out for their Soldiers - all else falls within those three directives.
(0)
(0)
1
1
0
I think that there is a confusion between respect and, professionalism and leadership for some. Cursing and yelling are disrespectful, but more than that it is unprofessional.
As leaders we have a responsibility to lead by example. For me, respect is earned, but professionalism is required. We can reflect on certain aspects of respect as they pertain to our lives, but at the end of the day it comes down to this, as a member of the Armed Forces we represent not just ourselves, but the citizens of the United States, our behavior says a lot about who we are as a country, not just a soldier. Our unprofessionalism even among ourselves tend to carry to when we are away from the unit, and effects how our subordinates carry themselves.
If we want to be respected we need to be more than how want others to see us, but how we want people to treat us. I always far more respected leaders who were tough but professional than those that barked orders and cursed at me. While respect does go to rank and position, more powerful is that which is earned.
I think the best example I have of this is when I was stationed in Korea, our unit commander and 1SG would spend time talking with and getting to know the soldiers, they held challenges to give soldiers a chance show their skills and earn days off. The next unit commander came in yelling and demanding soldiers followed him, unit moral went down and soldiers begged to leave the unit. We are only as strong as our weakest link and if the weak link is the leadership we are in trouble.
As leaders we have a responsibility to lead by example. For me, respect is earned, but professionalism is required. We can reflect on certain aspects of respect as they pertain to our lives, but at the end of the day it comes down to this, as a member of the Armed Forces we represent not just ourselves, but the citizens of the United States, our behavior says a lot about who we are as a country, not just a soldier. Our unprofessionalism even among ourselves tend to carry to when we are away from the unit, and effects how our subordinates carry themselves.
If we want to be respected we need to be more than how want others to see us, but how we want people to treat us. I always far more respected leaders who were tough but professional than those that barked orders and cursed at me. While respect does go to rank and position, more powerful is that which is earned.
I think the best example I have of this is when I was stationed in Korea, our unit commander and 1SG would spend time talking with and getting to know the soldiers, they held challenges to give soldiers a chance show their skills and earn days off. The next unit commander came in yelling and demanding soldiers followed him, unit moral went down and soldiers begged to leave the unit. We are only as strong as our weakest link and if the weak link is the leadership we are in trouble.
(1)
(0)
1
1
0
Currently, I have six soldiers under me. Of those six, one is 19, two are 20, one is 24, one is 26, and the last is 34. Despite the differences in their age, they are all legal adults. When I took over as their squad leader, I told each of them that they are adults and I will treat them as such. We have a job to do, and when that job is done properly and to standard we go home. They know that they can come to me in confidence and ask me questions anytime they want.
My philosophy that I have explained to my soldiers is this: Respect is earned, not given. Though they have to be respectful of my rank and position over them, I need to earn their respect as they need to earn mine.
Showing your soldiers a little respect will give them motivation and drive to move mountains for you, all you have to do is show them that you acknowledge them as adults and human beings. When I say this, I don't mean befriend them and treat them special, I mean establish a good soldier/NCO relationship and make your intentions for them clear, and have them inform you of what they expect from you as their leader. A little communication goes a LONG way when dealing with your subordinates.
My philosophy that I have explained to my soldiers is this: Respect is earned, not given. Though they have to be respectful of my rank and position over them, I need to earn their respect as they need to earn mine.
Showing your soldiers a little respect will give them motivation and drive to move mountains for you, all you have to do is show them that you acknowledge them as adults and human beings. When I say this, I don't mean befriend them and treat them special, I mean establish a good soldier/NCO relationship and make your intentions for them clear, and have them inform you of what they expect from you as their leader. A little communication goes a LONG way when dealing with your subordinates.
(1)
(0)
1
1
0
Obviously respect for ones superiors is automatic and must happen at all times.. respect or at least professionalism should be treated down the chain of command and this is where a lot of people in positions of snco or officer power fail, there is a lot of "I'm "x" rank and your not so deal with how i feel that day.". This is a sad thing as leaders are suppose to be seen as people who are the height of military professionalism, not abusers of rank. Power and or position though seem to go to some peoples heads.
(1)
(0)
1
1
0
MSG (Join to see) - MSG, I disagree that respect is automatic. TREATING with respect should be automatic, but respecting the individual should still be earned. I will treat everyone with the same level of respect, but regardless, I respect the opinions of some more than others based on their experiences.
If someone requests me not to swear around them, I will. However, I refuse to live my life in "fear" of offending someone. This is who I am, and I will respond to those request me to modify behavior around them. I don't ask smokers to not smoke around me....I just move upwind. I don't ask homosexuals not to talk about their life, I just ask not to share "gory details", just like I would expect of any heterosexual. If something offends me, I will address it and I expect the same around me.
Being TREATED with respect is given (until lost)....being RESPECTED is earned. There is a small, but distinct difference.
v/r,
CPT Butler
If someone requests me not to swear around them, I will. However, I refuse to live my life in "fear" of offending someone. This is who I am, and I will respond to those request me to modify behavior around them. I don't ask smokers to not smoke around me....I just move upwind. I don't ask homosexuals not to talk about their life, I just ask not to share "gory details", just like I would expect of any heterosexual. If something offends me, I will address it and I expect the same around me.
Being TREATED with respect is given (until lost)....being RESPECTED is earned. There is a small, but distinct difference.
v/r,
CPT Butler
(1)
(0)
CPT (Join to see)
MAJ (Join to see) - Between the responsibilities of work, school, command....and then a family member needed surgery. It had been pretty crazy. LOL. I'll PM ya with a few things.....probably going to be a really busy summer...but I think there's a lot of things that I'm trying to do that are probably already done....
v/r,
CPT Butler
v/r,
CPT Butler
(1)
(0)
MSG (Join to see)
Watch this Sir (CPT Jonathan Butler) I respect you although I do not know you. Why is this? Because as you stated, respect should be automatically rendered until one provides a reason not to give the respect. We are in agreement. I hate the fact that most are focusing on the swearing from the original post because the focus should be on respect. Army Soldiers who live the ARMY values should automatically know this. The third letter in the acronym LDRSHIP defines what we should do as Soldiers when it comes to respect. We are to treat others as they should be treated. I believe we are speaking the same language Sir but with a small difference. I have served in three sections (Active Army, Army Reserve and Active Guard Reserve totaling 26 years on 15 May and in different capacities. I can surely say that the respect for others isn't there like it used to be and like it needs to be. NCOs are looking for their next promotion instead of caring about their Soldiers' welfare and promotion opportunities.
(0)
(0)
CPT (Join to see)
MSG (Join to see) - Respect as a whole has degraded in our culture (civilian and military). I would never dream of calling female friends a bitch or a whore, but these are common. Kids disrespect their parents routinely without discipline.
Likewise, I am watching several concerning trends that I am hoping to make a small impact on.
First, I have watched some of the degradation of the NCO Corps. This isn't meant to be an insult. Even my MSGs have seen it and commented. Some of the responsibilities have been stripped away, and likewise, the immense pride in the NCO corps doesn't seem to be what it has been in prior generations. As a select number of NCOs become focused on their own advancement, they "kiss ass" to officers and senior NCOs to get promoted rather than rocking the boat for the right reasons. Others are not taught the tactfulness in presenting their ideas, which can make enemies. For example, I read something that said "Officers, this is NCO business. Stay out unless asked for," which discounts the abilities of mustangs, and others that have had leadership and other experiences helping. These can often make enemies that prevent advancement.
Second, "respect" is probably the most commonly misinterpreted meaning, and the definition gets more and more vague as time goes on. People confused "respect" and "acceptance". I do not need to agree with you to respect you. You are an individual with a wealth of knowledge and experiences, and to discredit you automatically would be a disservice to yourself and the troops that you oversee.
I see this problem a lot with MEDCOM. One of my Soldiers/friends is undergoing medical process, but it is being done so wrong. Trying to help her navigate the process, which is stressful enough....and then feeling that her own "chain" while receiving care is attempting to sabotage her career is SO incredibly frustrating.
v/r,
CPT Butler
Likewise, I am watching several concerning trends that I am hoping to make a small impact on.
First, I have watched some of the degradation of the NCO Corps. This isn't meant to be an insult. Even my MSGs have seen it and commented. Some of the responsibilities have been stripped away, and likewise, the immense pride in the NCO corps doesn't seem to be what it has been in prior generations. As a select number of NCOs become focused on their own advancement, they "kiss ass" to officers and senior NCOs to get promoted rather than rocking the boat for the right reasons. Others are not taught the tactfulness in presenting their ideas, which can make enemies. For example, I read something that said "Officers, this is NCO business. Stay out unless asked for," which discounts the abilities of mustangs, and others that have had leadership and other experiences helping. These can often make enemies that prevent advancement.
Second, "respect" is probably the most commonly misinterpreted meaning, and the definition gets more and more vague as time goes on. People confused "respect" and "acceptance". I do not need to agree with you to respect you. You are an individual with a wealth of knowledge and experiences, and to discredit you automatically would be a disservice to yourself and the troops that you oversee.
I see this problem a lot with MEDCOM. One of my Soldiers/friends is undergoing medical process, but it is being done so wrong. Trying to help her navigate the process, which is stressful enough....and then feeling that her own "chain" while receiving care is attempting to sabotage her career is SO incredibly frustrating.
v/r,
CPT Butler
(0)
(0)
MSG (Join to see)
CPT Jonathan Butler, well witten Sir. I cannot disagree with you at all. I've seen the slow degredation of the NCO Corps as well Sir. No insult when it's the truth and I feel so bad that I am seeing this on my way out. I can only imagine wha the future holds for our military if the NCOs don't follow the NCO Creed in its entirety. We have to accomplish the mission and take care of our Soldiers. The conjunction in between is the word "AND" but all too often the welfare of the Soldiers is placed on the back burner. This should not be.
(1)
(0)
1
1
0
I concur we should respect our Soldiers. If you are the type of leader who chooses to expell a fountain of profanity, all the the time it will become ineffective. I do not cuss however a mentor of mine once said "A well placed "F" in conversation can be effective."
(1)
(0)
Read This Next
Continue with Facebook 
Continue with Google