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Your buddy calls you late at night and tells you about all of the negativity going on in their life. As you listen to them describe his emotional distress, you pick up on some clues that lead you to think that this is a crisis situation. You also remember that they are a firearm owner. You want to ask about their guns because you know it’s not a safe situation under the circumstances, but you’re concerned that they will either hang up on you or, worse, that you’ll put an idea in his mind. What do you do?
People in distress can go from 0 to 60 very fast. Somewhere between 25% and 40% of individuals who attempt suicide make the final decision to act within 5 minutes of the suicide attempt. Nearly 70% make the final decision to act within the hour before their attempt. Easy access to potentially lethal methods for suicide—especially firearms—during periods of intense emotional distress increases the likelihood of bad outcomes such as suicide.
Temporarily limiting someone’s access to firearms and other possible methods for suicide during these periods can reduce the likelihood of a bad outcome, however, it’s similar to how we try to prevent our friends from getting in a car crash when they’ve been drinking. We know that the risk of a car crash increases when someone has been drinking. Because of this, we temporarily restrict access to driving—typically by taking away someone’s keys—when they’ve been drinking. When the person sobers up, we give them their keys back; we don’t prohibit them from driving ever again.
We can prevent suicides using the same mindset. When someone is under a lot of stress, having easy access to a firearm or other methods for suicide can be dangerous. During these times, we can offer to temporarily store a friend’s firearms, medications, or other possible suicide methods until things get better, just like we hold on to their keys when they’ve been drinking.
Here’s an example of how you can raise the issue:
It sounds like things haven’t been going well for you lately. I’m worried about you. Would you be willing to let me hang on to your guns/medications for a while until things get better?
If they don’t feel comfortable with this, consider asking them if they’d be willing to change how they store their firearms or medications instead:
What are your thoughts about storing your guns/medications in a safe or locking them up in another way?
Talking with a friend about locking up or temporarily limiting their access to a firearm or another possible method for suicide can be a difficult topic to discuss, but it can be a simple and effective strategy for helping them get through tough times.
[Video: https://vimeo.com/175761640]
*To learn more about the National Center of Veterans Studies programs visit: https://rly.pt/NCVS
People in distress can go from 0 to 60 very fast. Somewhere between 25% and 40% of individuals who attempt suicide make the final decision to act within 5 minutes of the suicide attempt. Nearly 70% make the final decision to act within the hour before their attempt. Easy access to potentially lethal methods for suicide—especially firearms—during periods of intense emotional distress increases the likelihood of bad outcomes such as suicide.
Temporarily limiting someone’s access to firearms and other possible methods for suicide during these periods can reduce the likelihood of a bad outcome, however, it’s similar to how we try to prevent our friends from getting in a car crash when they’ve been drinking. We know that the risk of a car crash increases when someone has been drinking. Because of this, we temporarily restrict access to driving—typically by taking away someone’s keys—when they’ve been drinking. When the person sobers up, we give them their keys back; we don’t prohibit them from driving ever again.
We can prevent suicides using the same mindset. When someone is under a lot of stress, having easy access to a firearm or other methods for suicide can be dangerous. During these times, we can offer to temporarily store a friend’s firearms, medications, or other possible suicide methods until things get better, just like we hold on to their keys when they’ve been drinking.
Here’s an example of how you can raise the issue:
It sounds like things haven’t been going well for you lately. I’m worried about you. Would you be willing to let me hang on to your guns/medications for a while until things get better?
If they don’t feel comfortable with this, consider asking them if they’d be willing to change how they store their firearms or medications instead:
What are your thoughts about storing your guns/medications in a safe or locking them up in another way?
Talking with a friend about locking up or temporarily limiting their access to a firearm or another possible method for suicide can be a difficult topic to discuss, but it can be a simple and effective strategy for helping them get through tough times.
[Video: https://vimeo.com/175761640]
*To learn more about the National Center of Veterans Studies programs visit: https://rly.pt/NCVS
University of Utah
Safety
Stress
PTSD
Edited 6 y ago
Posted 6 y ago
Responses: 38
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Awesome response. When someone is reaching out; drop everything and do what you can to help.We all need assistance in our lives. Helping a fellow veteran is what a patriotic human should do. The consideration you demonstrate for them will remain in your heart forever. Thanks in advance for anyone reading this and a special thanks for someone who adheres to it.
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I have attempted suicide and have known several others. I have also known several people that where in my opinion. A danger to themselves or others. Just like telling an angry man to calm down, Suggesting that such a person surrender their weapon is a recipe for disaster. Like the Md. case where police were forced to kill a man when they came to take his guns until he was deemed safe. Instead, I always try to separate the person from the danger. Much easier to say hey we are going to have to go through a weapons check than. Give me your gun and leave yourself at my mercy.
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I have not got this call and hope I never do. My advice is he or she is reaching out to you so YOU may be their last resort just remember everything you tell them must come from the heart. Ask them "What about me? You will leave me with a gap in my heart." Remind them about all the good times you shared together and don't be affraid to tell them that you are being a little selfish because you can't invision yourself without them. Remind them of everyone they will not only leave behind but hurt greatly. Add that their mother would be a wreck and that could cause her health to decline. Also mention siblings mourning their beloved brother/sister. Offer to go to church with them because GOD can heal a wounded heart. Be sincer because if your not they will pick up on it. Offer to hold their weapons till the darkness passes. Explain to them that you are literlly "blood brothers/sisters". We need to help these brave souls from harming themselfs or others. LET THEM KNOW YOU LOVE THEM!!! GOD bless and good luck.
One more thing you may need help reach out to the VA or your local law enforcement as a last resort.
One more thing you may need help reach out to the VA or your local law enforcement as a last resort.
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Firearms are just a small factor in who dies by their own hand. Two or maybe three times I have considered it with a 45 auto twice and played Russian roulette once. Frustration and emptiness lead to the solution of death. It was not death I wanted, only hope in some form. The problem of death by sel-inflicted means is that others will suffer and that is harder than death unless there is no-one you care about or maybe you are so wrapped up in self-pity that others do not matter. I have known others who did themselves in and that is why after thoughtful considerations I did not relieve my pain which eventually went into the crapper. After the last time with a 357 pistol and almost being successful, I never tried again. I hurt but I know it will pass and if it is bad enough, I will leave and disappear into a place never to be found or seen again. Today's world gives no hope of a future. I am still here.
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1SG (Join to see)
Hang in there, Ivan.
You have many things to do yet.
If you ever find yourself in Minnesota, look me up and I'll buy you a beer.
You have many things to do yet.
If you ever find yourself in Minnesota, look me up and I'll buy you a beer.
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Sgt Ivan Boatwright
1SG (Join to see) - Thanks for the offer but because of my first year back from Nam, I quit for 30 years and now only allow 6 per year and never more than two a night. Now I drink sweet tea, cherry pepsi or coke. If I get there I will hold you to one of the three.
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I'm an ASIST trainer and haven't been in such a situation but here's what I've been taught:
If you're concerned they're having suicidal thoughts, ask directly. Asking the question usually doesn't put the idea in their head. Either they're already thinking it and are relieved someone has picked up on the signal or they're not and deny it (hopefully they're telling the truth).
If they have access to a firearm, I would recommend calling the police.
If you're concerned they're having suicidal thoughts, ask directly. Asking the question usually doesn't put the idea in their head. Either they're already thinking it and are relieved someone has picked up on the signal or they're not and deny it (hopefully they're telling the truth).
If they have access to a firearm, I would recommend calling the police.
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Lumping guns and meds together seems like a familiar tactic when discussing this topic. I'm not sure how beneficial this really is - but anyone with a PTSD/TBI diagnosis can tell you the VA (and others) seem focused on making the two a singular, inseparable item.
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