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Every year our nation sets aside a day to honor our military who have died in service to our country. For many of us, this day is a tough one as we experience the full range of emotions. Our hearts are filled with great pride and great loss.
No matter how much time has passed, remembering can feel like waves in the ocean. Sometimes the waves of emotion are light and wash up against our ankles, however, there are times when those emotional waves crash into us hard and take our breath away.
Memorial Day impacts us all a little bit differently. I find myself on a roller coaster going from smiling to crying, thinking of the past and also what life might have been.
On Memorial Day, my wife and I join tens of thousands of military families across the United States to honor all our nation’s Fallen Heroes. We honor and remember our two sons who died fighting different battles.
Together with all of our fellow Americans, we honor over 677,000 members of the U.S. military who gave the ultimate sacrifice while bravely serving around the globe since the Civil War.
This Memorial Day, in particular, we are reminded of the fragility and sacredness of human life. In recent months, over 90,000 Americans have died from COVID-19 including over one thousand veterans.
Recent events also remind us that many of our military, both former and currently serving, are fighting to survive two different types of battles.
While many Americans continue social distancing or remain in self-isolation due to COVID-19, experts are warning of a surge in mental health issues. Not only is COVID-19 causing isolation, it also is tightening much needed resources for service members and veterans who rely on treatment for service related Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) and Traumatic Brain Injury (TBI).
Scarred by physical and emotional wounds, our veteran population already has a higher suicide rate than the national population, with a rate 1.5 times higher than civilians.
Many of our military and veterans are suffering from wounds you cannot see that can be more serious and deadly than the wounds you can see.
Unfortunately, our family has experienced the tragedy of suicide first-hand. As an ROTC cadet at the University of Kentucky, our son Kevin was studying to be an Army doctor. He was a scholarship student battling depression and stopped taking his medication because he didn’t want the military to know of his illness. When Kevin died, we blamed ourselves for not recognizing the serious warning signs that Kevin’s depression was a true medical illness and not just a sad feeling. We now know that eliminating the stigma and accessing quality treatment is a matter of life and death.
It was around the time of Kevin’s death that the military began experiencing crisis numbers of suicides on military installations where we served. My wife and I dedicated ourselves to opening up the conversation in both the military and civilian world about suicide.
As a retired Major General in the U.S. Army, my mission today is to ensure that any veteran, service member, family member, or caregiver gets the help they need, whenever they have an issue, wherever they are in the world -- before challenges turn into crises. They are not alone.
In many ways, our humble support of service members and veterans who suffer the invisible wounds of war is a way we can honor their comrades who fought and died.
This Memorial Day we respectfully remember with gratitude the hundreds of thousands of men and women who have served our country on the battlefield in countless wars and conflicts.
We remember over 7,000 post-9/11 troops, like our other son Jeff, who was killed by an IED leading a foot patrol in Iraq.
We remember the many generations before Jeff and Kevin who fought and died in the name of freedom.
Retired Army Maj. Gen. Mark Graham is director of Vets4Warriors. Veterans experiencing a mental health emergency can contact the Veteran Crisis Line at [login to see] and select option 1 for a VA staffer. If you want to speak with a peer, call Vets4Warriors at [login to see] , visit http://www.Vets4Warriors.com or follow us on social @Vets4Warriors to learn more.
No matter how much time has passed, remembering can feel like waves in the ocean. Sometimes the waves of emotion are light and wash up against our ankles, however, there are times when those emotional waves crash into us hard and take our breath away.
Memorial Day impacts us all a little bit differently. I find myself on a roller coaster going from smiling to crying, thinking of the past and also what life might have been.
On Memorial Day, my wife and I join tens of thousands of military families across the United States to honor all our nation’s Fallen Heroes. We honor and remember our two sons who died fighting different battles.
Together with all of our fellow Americans, we honor over 677,000 members of the U.S. military who gave the ultimate sacrifice while bravely serving around the globe since the Civil War.
This Memorial Day, in particular, we are reminded of the fragility and sacredness of human life. In recent months, over 90,000 Americans have died from COVID-19 including over one thousand veterans.
Recent events also remind us that many of our military, both former and currently serving, are fighting to survive two different types of battles.
While many Americans continue social distancing or remain in self-isolation due to COVID-19, experts are warning of a surge in mental health issues. Not only is COVID-19 causing isolation, it also is tightening much needed resources for service members and veterans who rely on treatment for service related Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) and Traumatic Brain Injury (TBI).
Scarred by physical and emotional wounds, our veteran population already has a higher suicide rate than the national population, with a rate 1.5 times higher than civilians.
Many of our military and veterans are suffering from wounds you cannot see that can be more serious and deadly than the wounds you can see.
Unfortunately, our family has experienced the tragedy of suicide first-hand. As an ROTC cadet at the University of Kentucky, our son Kevin was studying to be an Army doctor. He was a scholarship student battling depression and stopped taking his medication because he didn’t want the military to know of his illness. When Kevin died, we blamed ourselves for not recognizing the serious warning signs that Kevin’s depression was a true medical illness and not just a sad feeling. We now know that eliminating the stigma and accessing quality treatment is a matter of life and death.
It was around the time of Kevin’s death that the military began experiencing crisis numbers of suicides on military installations where we served. My wife and I dedicated ourselves to opening up the conversation in both the military and civilian world about suicide.
As a retired Major General in the U.S. Army, my mission today is to ensure that any veteran, service member, family member, or caregiver gets the help they need, whenever they have an issue, wherever they are in the world -- before challenges turn into crises. They are not alone.
In many ways, our humble support of service members and veterans who suffer the invisible wounds of war is a way we can honor their comrades who fought and died.
This Memorial Day we respectfully remember with gratitude the hundreds of thousands of men and women who have served our country on the battlefield in countless wars and conflicts.
We remember over 7,000 post-9/11 troops, like our other son Jeff, who was killed by an IED leading a foot patrol in Iraq.
We remember the many generations before Jeff and Kevin who fought and died in the name of freedom.
Retired Army Maj. Gen. Mark Graham is director of Vets4Warriors. Veterans experiencing a mental health emergency can contact the Veteran Crisis Line at [login to see] and select option 1 for a VA staffer. If you want to speak with a peer, call Vets4Warriors at [login to see] , visit http://www.Vets4Warriors.com or follow us on social @Vets4Warriors to learn more.
Posted in these groups: 
Memorial Day
Memorial
Vets4Warriors
Operation Iraqi Freedom (OIF)
Coronavirus COVID19
Memorial Day Memorial Vets4Warriors Operation Iraqi Freedom (OIF) Coronavirus COVID19
Edited >1 y ago
Posted >1 y ago
Responses: 59
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Thank you for your words, General Graham. I am sorry for your losses. I am glad that you have taken up the baton to educate others regarding depression in the military. It is as real as another illness and it can also be treated. Many, including those who are diagnosed with it are not aware of the total picture and certainly their family members generally are not up on it. We have to do more for our best in the ranks…all ranks. There are so few who are qualified to serve and fewer yet who are willing to. They are a very important minority who we must take care of.
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Our thoughts and prayers are with you this Memorial day general! I have served as an army veteran and have not seen the loss you have seen and I wish you and your family the best! I have just obtained a job in the veterans administration and I will do my best to serve each and each and every fellow veteran to the best of my abilities. I will be working out of the office of community Care within the veterans health administration and I hope that I will be able to serve up and honor the veterans that have giving their all for this country!
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Sir, thank you the share and above all, so sorry for your loss. It is humbling what we continue to face in and out of warfare and we need to continue to remember that it was NOT in vain but in the name of something greater than ALL of us. Sometimes it is too much for us us to handle and we forget that we could or should reach out and do not. On behalf of my family, and I am sure as well as the other military brothers-in-arms in this network and their supportive family, we offer our prayers to you and your family’s sacrifice as well as prayers for those who paid the ultimate sacrifice for freedom. God bless and thank you for sharing.
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Thank you, sir, for sharing your painful experiences in order to help others find a way to heal. I honor your family's sacrifice--as well as those of countless others--on Memorial Day and always.
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Sir,
Some gave all.
Only God saves.
Prayers for you and your family...
God is good!
Carter
Some gave all.
Only God saves.
Prayers for you and your family...
God is good!
Carter
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Sir: Very sorry to learn this. I think about the soldiers I lost every single day, so I understand. But losing sons must be something else entirely. Thanks to you and your family for your service and sacrifice. As Abraham Lincoln said long ago, there must be a solemn pride in having laid so costly a sacrifice on the altar of freedom.
Very Sincerely,
Hugh
Very Sincerely,
Hugh
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"We must never ever forget our fallen and continue to push forward for those who are serving".
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I thank you for this post and I help local veterans who call for help. I also work with some homeless vets who have lost their way.. I grieve for those lost at home and abroad.. Some were family and friends and some were fellow servicemen and women. Semper Fidelis to all my fellow Americans.. JP
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