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Last spring, I submitted an essay to the online journal Wrath-Bearing Tree. It was about my late husband, a Vietnam Vet who lived for 50 years after his tour of duty.
I am lucky to have shared so many rich and fulfilling years with him, years of marriage, creating our family, raising our three sons. I’m comforted and contented by memories of our lives together, family holidays and precious vacations, challenging decisions, some achievements here and there, and throughout it all his companionship.
But I also know now that for him, just plain old living life was very hard. For a long time, I was oblivious to how the consequences of his military service as a combatant seeped into our lives. I don’t know if he realized it either until the harsh, limiting symptoms of PTSD pushed their way to the surface and interrupted our world, a full 25 years after discharge. We’d been together a long time before it was named, before we understood that war trauma had been living alongside us, waiting to take its toll. I have enormous admiration for how he forged his way through the devastation of that time and back to us.
On his way to getting better, he founded Consequence, a literary journal addressing the consequences and culture of war https://rly.pt/ConsequenceForum. Still, he kept his own experience of those consequences close to the vest. For 12 years he edited and published the stories of others, not his own. Eventually he saw the benefit his story had for others and began to share it.
Now I, as a board member for the non-profit, Consequence Forum, Inc. work along with many dedicated folks to sustain his legacy. Of course, we totally support the publication of our contributors’ narratives addressing the human consequences of war and geopolitical violence, contributors that may be witnesses, refugees, soldiers and veterans and yes, partners and family members too.
Last spring, I co-led a Writing Workshop for Spouses and Partners of Veterans and Active Military offered by Consequence Forum, Inc. We plan to run the workshop again this fall. (Continue to check RallyPoint for details.) Participants in our first session were mothers, daughters, and wives of Veterans, writing their stories, which are of course about their soldiers and veterans. In the workshop, participants wrote about lives that, if not shaped by, are at least heavily influenced by the current and former military men and women in their families.
Still, when it came time to submit my piece for publication at Wrath-Bearing Tree, I wasn’t sure it was okay to do so. I wondered, am I really authorized to reveal bits of the life we shared when my late husband isn’t here to review or edit it to his liking? Was I telling his story, or mine? After a fifty-five-year relationship, he’s a major character in mine to be sure, but right to the end, I struggled with whether it was okay to hit “send” and share that piece of writing.
There are those who believe I can’t know what he is thinking or would be thinking about all this. There are those who believe that of course I know. I’m not certain about all that, but I did hit send. The essay, “What He Wore” appeared in Wrath-Bearing Tree in March and is here to read: https://rly.pt/WhatHeWore
I have to believe we, as partners of Veterans and active military, can and should share our stories. And we should read those of other family members of Veterans and active military, the stories of others who understand the consequences of war and geopolitical violence that appear here, on Command Post, or in literary journals such as Wrath-Bearing Tree and Consequence.
The next reading period for work to be considered for Consequence Forum is now-- July 15 - October 15-- and work submitted will be considered for either our print publication (Consequence Journal), and you can read more and subscribe at https://rly.pt/ConsequenceForum
I am lucky to have shared so many rich and fulfilling years with him, years of marriage, creating our family, raising our three sons. I’m comforted and contented by memories of our lives together, family holidays and precious vacations, challenging decisions, some achievements here and there, and throughout it all his companionship.
But I also know now that for him, just plain old living life was very hard. For a long time, I was oblivious to how the consequences of his military service as a combatant seeped into our lives. I don’t know if he realized it either until the harsh, limiting symptoms of PTSD pushed their way to the surface and interrupted our world, a full 25 years after discharge. We’d been together a long time before it was named, before we understood that war trauma had been living alongside us, waiting to take its toll. I have enormous admiration for how he forged his way through the devastation of that time and back to us.
On his way to getting better, he founded Consequence, a literary journal addressing the consequences and culture of war https://rly.pt/ConsequenceForum. Still, he kept his own experience of those consequences close to the vest. For 12 years he edited and published the stories of others, not his own. Eventually he saw the benefit his story had for others and began to share it.
Now I, as a board member for the non-profit, Consequence Forum, Inc. work along with many dedicated folks to sustain his legacy. Of course, we totally support the publication of our contributors’ narratives addressing the human consequences of war and geopolitical violence, contributors that may be witnesses, refugees, soldiers and veterans and yes, partners and family members too.
Last spring, I co-led a Writing Workshop for Spouses and Partners of Veterans and Active Military offered by Consequence Forum, Inc. We plan to run the workshop again this fall. (Continue to check RallyPoint for details.) Participants in our first session were mothers, daughters, and wives of Veterans, writing their stories, which are of course about their soldiers and veterans. In the workshop, participants wrote about lives that, if not shaped by, are at least heavily influenced by the current and former military men and women in their families.
Still, when it came time to submit my piece for publication at Wrath-Bearing Tree, I wasn’t sure it was okay to do so. I wondered, am I really authorized to reveal bits of the life we shared when my late husband isn’t here to review or edit it to his liking? Was I telling his story, or mine? After a fifty-five-year relationship, he’s a major character in mine to be sure, but right to the end, I struggled with whether it was okay to hit “send” and share that piece of writing.
There are those who believe I can’t know what he is thinking or would be thinking about all this. There are those who believe that of course I know. I’m not certain about all that, but I did hit send. The essay, “What He Wore” appeared in Wrath-Bearing Tree in March and is here to read: https://rly.pt/WhatHeWore
I have to believe we, as partners of Veterans and active military, can and should share our stories. And we should read those of other family members of Veterans and active military, the stories of others who understand the consequences of war and geopolitical violence that appear here, on Command Post, or in literary journals such as Wrath-Bearing Tree and Consequence.
The next reading period for work to be considered for Consequence Forum is now-- July 15 - October 15-- and work submitted will be considered for either our print publication (Consequence Journal), and you can read more and subscribe at https://rly.pt/ConsequenceForum
Creative Writing
Vietnam War
PTSD
Edited 10 mo ago
Posted 10 mo ago
Responses: 15
15
15
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I began writing the family history while there were still some alive. Several have dedicated their lives to Military and public service and I feel it is important to write what we know before it is lost forever. As I wrote, I sent it to those still alive to make sure the information was correct and to get their opinion of what I had written. They looked forward to receiving each new page and discussed it with each other and sent back comments and corrections, with an occasional phone call to discuss something they thought I should include. There are speech to write options with AI now to make it easier to collect the stories. What they did mattered They suffered from PTSD til the end. It might never make it into a book but at least it’s started.
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SP5 Robert Kennedy
Maj Kim Patterson, plow on young lady. I have a second cousin who wrote a book about his uncle who served in WWII. He researched and wrote for several years, but refused to share or publish until the last of the people, the Veteran uncle, and all of the relatives and friends who wrote letters to that uncle while he served during World War II from a remote base in Greenland, DIED! The author is a second cousin of mine whom I have never met. He lives in Grand Rapids, MI, my mothers hometown until @ 1932. Amazingly, I knew most of the folks (relatives and friends of the veteran, even the veteran himself) and the book includes many of my Kennedy relatives as well, because my mother (Marie Thome) lived next door to my dad (Everett Kennedy) in Detroit beginning in the 1930s, and way back in the 1930's and 1940's there were plenty of trips by many of both families that most of us never knew about. The center of the book has quite a number of photos of the letter writers and others that the letters were about. I'd absolutely recommend that you go on Amazon and just read the pages that you can read for free just to see how his novel presentation works. I couldn't put it down. The book is entirely the letters that the Veteran RECEIVED, and none of the letters he wrote back to them. Yet, you learned who the writers of the letters were because of what the letters they wrote included about others who received his return letters... very clever.
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MAJ Ken Landgren
Unfortunately, I am dealing with a few assholes in the Texags Military Forum. I have posted some military essays and some responded that I am plagiarizing. However, you and I are fully cognizant that when writing essays, it requires research in order to illuminate the messages and big pictures we want to portray.
When I write military essays, I often have to research a few or several sources in order to provide a comprehensive narrative. One of the reasons I like to write essays is because it forces me to research and become familiar with the topic on hand. Case in point is I wanted to write an essay about the advent and use of P-51s in the ETO. I had to research and become smart on the plane before I was able to write the essay.
I have learned that being an veteran does not necessarily make a person immune to being an asshole. lol
When I write military essays, I often have to research a few or several sources in order to provide a comprehensive narrative. One of the reasons I like to write essays is because it forces me to research and become familiar with the topic on hand. Case in point is I wanted to write an essay about the advent and use of P-51s in the ETO. I had to research and become smart on the plane before I was able to write the essay.
I have learned that being an veteran does not necessarily make a person immune to being an asshole. lol
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Joan, I read your essay. You need not have any reservations for writing it.
Most combat soldiers have a "hole in their dike" that will eventually break loose. Having served in combat with the First Air Cav in Vietnam, I was exposed to the horrors of war. I am thankful that my dike did not break. As a Veterans Service Officer I still have Vietnam Veterans who realize their dike has broken. Also, almost every Iraq and Afghanistan War Veteran that comes into my office files a claim for PTSD and most are awarded.
Keep writing!
Most combat soldiers have a "hole in their dike" that will eventually break loose. Having served in combat with the First Air Cav in Vietnam, I was exposed to the horrors of war. I am thankful that my dike did not break. As a Veterans Service Officer I still have Vietnam Veterans who realize their dike has broken. Also, almost every Iraq and Afghanistan War Veteran that comes into my office files a claim for PTSD and most are awarded.
Keep writing!
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SPC (Join to see)
SPC Mike Bennett - Hi Mike. Claims for PTSD and most are awarded? On a first go-around? No appeals? Boy this sure is different than when I applied! Took 15 1/2 years and more appeals than I can remember!
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@Joan Kovach thanks for sharing your life events & encouraging others to do the same. I know first-hand about the effects of P.T.S.D. on the individual & family.
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