Posted on Dec 23, 2022
She fell in love with a woman in 1998. Missouri's anti-LGBTQ laws nearly took away her kids
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Nancy Fowler almost lost custody of her kids 24 years ago, because Missouri laws considered her sexual orientation as evidence she was an unfit parent. Now she worries the country is moving backward.
Two experiences, separated by 24 years, stand out in Nancy Fowler’s mind when she thinks about same-sex marriage. First, there’s her own marriage to a woman, a union now codified in federal law under the Respect for Marriage Act signed earlier this month.
And then there was the moment in 1998, when Fowler’s divorce attorney told her that she would likely lose custody of her three young children because Missouri law considered her sexual orientation a mark against her — and potentially evidence that she was an unfit parent. .At the time, sex between gay people, intimacy itself, was criminalized under the state’s now-repealed sodomy law.
Two experiences, separated by 24 years, stand out in Nancy Fowler’s mind when she thinks about same-sex marriage. First, there’s her own marriage to a woman, a union now codified in federal law under the Respect for Marriage Act signed earlier this month.
And then there was the moment in 1998, when Fowler’s divorce attorney told her that she would likely lose custody of her three young children because Missouri law considered her sexual orientation a mark against her — and potentially evidence that she was an unfit parent. .At the time, sex between gay people, intimacy itself, was criminalized under the state’s now-repealed sodomy law.
She fell in love with a woman in 1998. Missouri's anti-LGBTQ laws nearly took away her kids
Posted from kcur.org
Love
Parenting
LGBTQ+
Marriage
Same Sex Marriage
Posted >1 y ago
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PO1 William "Chip" Nagel good day Brother William, always informational and of the most interesting. Thanks for sharing, have a blessed day!
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PO1 William "Chip" Nagel that is just flat wrong!
..."During her divorce in 1998, Fowler’s ex-husband eventually agreed to a joint custody agreement. But before that resolution, she had been forced to navigate depositions and accusations that her sexual orientation and relationship with a woman would harm her kids and lead to bullying.
Even after agreeing to joint custody, her relationship and orientation were treated as problems. The arrangement forbade her from living with a partner to whom she wasn’t married until her children were eighteen, effectively requiring her to live alone with her children for a decade. In the meantime, the U.S. Supreme Court decriminalized gay sex by overturning Lawrence v. Texas, and, in 2015, the court legalized same-sex marriage.
In Fowler’s essay in the Huffington Post, she candidly detailed her first memories of feeling attracted to another woman, and the wrenching decisions she made during her marriage to the father of her children.
Looking back on that time, Jamie Larson, Fowler’s daughter, observed that the national discussions over marriage equality often ignore the perspective of the children of those marriages.
“At the time, I had to think a lot about being gay or lesbian and what that meant,” said Larson, who was 12 during the divorce proceedings in 1998.
Her mother’s experiences changed her, too.
“It very much made me who I am today,” Larson said. “My mom was an excellent mom, we had so much love and support and structure…. and having a parent that has gone through a lot of challenges and revelations in her life, I think that's just allowed me to be more open and empathetic to other people as well. And use those challenges as ways to push myself forward and take risks and pursue my dreams as well.”
..."During her divorce in 1998, Fowler’s ex-husband eventually agreed to a joint custody agreement. But before that resolution, she had been forced to navigate depositions and accusations that her sexual orientation and relationship with a woman would harm her kids and lead to bullying.
Even after agreeing to joint custody, her relationship and orientation were treated as problems. The arrangement forbade her from living with a partner to whom she wasn’t married until her children were eighteen, effectively requiring her to live alone with her children for a decade. In the meantime, the U.S. Supreme Court decriminalized gay sex by overturning Lawrence v. Texas, and, in 2015, the court legalized same-sex marriage.
In Fowler’s essay in the Huffington Post, she candidly detailed her first memories of feeling attracted to another woman, and the wrenching decisions she made during her marriage to the father of her children.
Looking back on that time, Jamie Larson, Fowler’s daughter, observed that the national discussions over marriage equality often ignore the perspective of the children of those marriages.
“At the time, I had to think a lot about being gay or lesbian and what that meant,” said Larson, who was 12 during the divorce proceedings in 1998.
Her mother’s experiences changed her, too.
“It very much made me who I am today,” Larson said. “My mom was an excellent mom, we had so much love and support and structure…. and having a parent that has gone through a lot of challenges and revelations in her life, I think that's just allowed me to be more open and empathetic to other people as well. And use those challenges as ways to push myself forward and take risks and pursue my dreams as well.”
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PO1 William "Chip" Nagel that is just flat wrong!
..."During her divorce in 1998, Fowler’s ex-husband eventually agreed to a joint custody agreement. But before that resolution, she had been forced to navigate depositions and accusations that her sexual orientation and relationship with a woman would harm her kids and lead to bullying.
Even after agreeing to joint custody, her relationship and orientation were treated as problems. The arrangement forbade her from living with a partner to whom she wasn’t married until her children were eighteen, effectively requiring her to live alone with her children for a decade. In the meantime, the U.S. Supreme Court decriminalized gay sex by overturning Lawrence v. Texas, and, in 2015, the court legalized same-sex marriage.
In Fowler’s essay in the Huffington Post, she candidly detailed her first memories of feeling attracted to another woman, and the wrenching decisions she made during her marriage to the father of her children.
Looking back on that time, Jamie Larson, Fowler’s daughter, observed that the national discussions over marriage equality often ignore the perspective of the children of those marriages.
“At the time, I had to think a lot about being gay or lesbian and what that meant,” said Larson, who was 12 during the divorce proceedings in 1998.
Her mother’s experiences changed her, too.
“It very much made me who I am today,” Larson said. “My mom was an excellent mom, we had so much love and support and structure…. and having a parent that has gone through a lot of challenges and revelations in her life, I think that's just allowed me to be more open and empathetic to other people as well. And use those challenges as ways to push myself forward and take risks and pursue my dreams as well.”
..."During her divorce in 1998, Fowler’s ex-husband eventually agreed to a joint custody agreement. But before that resolution, she had been forced to navigate depositions and accusations that her sexual orientation and relationship with a woman would harm her kids and lead to bullying.
Even after agreeing to joint custody, her relationship and orientation were treated as problems. The arrangement forbade her from living with a partner to whom she wasn’t married until her children were eighteen, effectively requiring her to live alone with her children for a decade. In the meantime, the U.S. Supreme Court decriminalized gay sex by overturning Lawrence v. Texas, and, in 2015, the court legalized same-sex marriage.
In Fowler’s essay in the Huffington Post, she candidly detailed her first memories of feeling attracted to another woman, and the wrenching decisions she made during her marriage to the father of her children.
Looking back on that time, Jamie Larson, Fowler’s daughter, observed that the national discussions over marriage equality often ignore the perspective of the children of those marriages.
“At the time, I had to think a lot about being gay or lesbian and what that meant,” said Larson, who was 12 during the divorce proceedings in 1998.
Her mother’s experiences changed her, too.
“It very much made me who I am today,” Larson said. “My mom was an excellent mom, we had so much love and support and structure…. and having a parent that has gone through a lot of challenges and revelations in her life, I think that's just allowed me to be more open and empathetic to other people as well. And use those challenges as ways to push myself forward and take risks and pursue my dreams as well.”
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