Bloomberg - Are you a robot?

Five days and we've already succeeded in economically destroying Turkey and restoring our good name with our allies! We can't stop bigly winning!

Now, if only we could find somewhere for our displaced, yet 100% victorious, troops to go... Seems like Iraq is full.

Also, in more good news, our friends, Putin, Assad, and Erdogan, have agreed to take over our bases in Syria and take very good care of them for the foreseeable future.