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SPC Benjamin Hartog
19
19
0
Colonel,

Trying to recapture the magic of the bonhomie that encapsulated my life in the military is existentially impossible but not psychologically for even the most distant memories of my comrades reemerges spontaneously like the crocuses in a well watered, spring garden. My yearning for similar companionship in civilian life remains frustrated even when I make half-hearted attempts to draw emotional sustenance from my academic milieu. But the fellowship I find on campus might be cognitively stimulating, it fails to provide me with the esprit de core that was so crucial to surviving the precarious (deadly) circumstances n Vietnam. To bond with others is neurologically intrinsic to Homo sapiens even though it might be distorted at times by suicide, schizophrenia, dementia like Alzheimer's disease, psychopathy and a major depressive episode. I think Descartes was wrong: "I long for attachment therefore I am." And this need for connection is nowhere stronger than in a rifle platoon in the midst of war. Thus, the crucible of forming cohesive links is intensified amongst young men in peril and can never be exactly duplicated in a benign environment where veterans can maintain a "normal" lifestyle including loving family connections.
Thank you,
SPC Benjamin
(19)
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SPC Nancy Greene
SPC Nancy Greene
>1 y
Extremely eloquently stated SPC Benjamin Hartog !
WELCOME HOME!
(5)
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LTC Elaine Gullotta
LTC Elaine Gullotta
>1 y
Hi Benjamin,
Yes, we all need connection to others. Are you making connection with other veterans besides here on Rallypoint? There are so many veteran organizations you could join to find the camaraderie you seek.
(4)
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SPC Benjamin Hartog
SPC Benjamin Hartog
>1 y
Major,

I was a member of a Vietnam rap group in the late 1980s that approximated the tight camaraderie I shared with the men in my squad. Ironically, I am the only survivor of that rap group. Most of the veterans in the group died in their early sixties including one, Diego, who committed suicide in my home where I found him draped over a computer desk that was piled high with cocaine and underneath his legs lay a packet of black tar heroine. Vietnam implanted a Augustinian perspective in me that all persons are inherently valuable and worthy of respect including the dead, like Diego, who I eulogized posthumously even though I was incensed over the futility of his untimely, lonely and sordid death. But my animosity was gratuities with no specific object. My angst was misplaced, however, and I realized that Diego hoodwinked me by depriving me of his companionship which closely resembled my relationships in Vietnam insofar as they were shortlived and aborted. I have imaginatively and meticulously reconstructed the associations I forged in Vietnam but I am a victim of predestination who like a protagonist in a Greek tragedy is doomed to suffer a fate of ultimate disaster. But as long as I am alive I can indefinitely renew my elegiac youth in the Army and look on my time in the 9th Division as one epic, singular adventure that remains inside me an uncauterized wound.

Thank you Major Gullotta
(3)
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SSG Derrick Iozzio
18
18
0
Tune in! Join us as we talk about asking for help.
(18)
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SPC Nancy Greene
SPC Nancy Greene
>1 y
Sounds like a really meaningful topic SSG Derrick Iozzio ! I am going to try to ‘dial in’; however, I am playing ‘nurse’ to my 92 year old mom who is recovering from hip replacement.
(5)
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SSG Derrick Iozzio
SSG Derrick Iozzio
>1 y
My best to you and your mom. As a caretaker, I am sure you know that self care is important. I hope you will be able to join us!
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SSG William Jones
17
17
0
Thanks for posting this, Colonel.
(17)
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