Posted on Jun 18, 2022
She wanted to vaccinate their kids against COVID. He didn't. A judge had to decide
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https://www.npr.org/sections/health-shots/2022/05/01/ [login to see] /divorced-parents-vaccination
Heather and Norm have had their share of disagreements. Their separation seven years ago and the ensuing custody battle were contentious. But over the years, the pair has found a way to weather disputes cordially. They've made big decisions together and checked in regularly about their two kids, now ages 9 and 11.
But the rhythm of give and take they so carefully cultivated came to an abrupt end last fall, when it came time to decide whether to vaccinate their kids against COVID-19 — Heather was for it; Norm was against. (WHYY News has withheld their last names to protect the privacy of their children.)
In Pennsylvania, decisions about children's health must be made jointly by parents with shared legal custody, so the dispute went to court. And Heather and Norm weren't the only ones who couldn't come to an agreement on their own. In the months since the vaccine was approved for children, family court judges across the commonwealth have seen skyrocketing numbers of similar cases: divorced parents who can't agree on what to do.
Heather and Norm have had their share of disagreements. Their separation seven years ago and the ensuing custody battle were contentious. But over the years, the pair has found a way to weather disputes cordially. They've made big decisions together and checked in regularly about their two kids, now ages 9 and 11.
But the rhythm of give and take they so carefully cultivated came to an abrupt end last fall, when it came time to decide whether to vaccinate their kids against COVID-19 — Heather was for it; Norm was against. (WHYY News has withheld their last names to protect the privacy of their children.)
In Pennsylvania, decisions about children's health must be made jointly by parents with shared legal custody, so the dispute went to court. And Heather and Norm weren't the only ones who couldn't come to an agreement on their own. In the months since the vaccine was approved for children, family court judges across the commonwealth have seen skyrocketing numbers of similar cases: divorced parents who can't agree on what to do.
She wanted to vaccinate their kids against COVID. He didn't. A judge had to decide
Posted from npr.org
Children
Medical
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Pharmaceuticals
Posted 2 y ago
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PO1 William "Chip" Nagel
...""You read any book about divorce or co-parenting, and it's always in bold caps-lock letters, 'Do not disparage the other parent in front of the kids,'" said Norm. "So I've been very, very cognizant of that from the beginning."
Heather said she's set the same ground rule about Norm. But she does worry how this experience will affect her kids in the long term.
"How does that frame their critical thinking going forward? Do they then live in a limbo where they really never know what's right?" she said she wonders. As a mother, she considers it her job to give her kids a moral compass.
"That's hard when their hearts and minds get a little weaponized against what I believe to be a medically sound decision for them," Heather said.
Norm is more confident that the experience will be a net positive for the kids. He said he thinks it will teach them to navigate conflict and accept differing opinions.
Heather took both children to get their first doses in early March. She hadn't told them where they were going, and when they arrived at the pharmacy, she said, they felt ambushed and angry with her. She shrugged it off. Sometimes, she figured, this is just a mom's job.
After the shots, which were painless and quick, her kids stuffed their pockets full of Dum Dums, and Heather took them to Chipotle. It may not have been exactly the celebratory moment she'd imagined, but as she watched them eagerly dig into their quesadillas, she felt that, for the first time in two years, she could finally exhale."
...""You read any book about divorce or co-parenting, and it's always in bold caps-lock letters, 'Do not disparage the other parent in front of the kids,'" said Norm. "So I've been very, very cognizant of that from the beginning."
Heather said she's set the same ground rule about Norm. But she does worry how this experience will affect her kids in the long term.
"How does that frame their critical thinking going forward? Do they then live in a limbo where they really never know what's right?" she said she wonders. As a mother, she considers it her job to give her kids a moral compass.
"That's hard when their hearts and minds get a little weaponized against what I believe to be a medically sound decision for them," Heather said.
Norm is more confident that the experience will be a net positive for the kids. He said he thinks it will teach them to navigate conflict and accept differing opinions.
Heather took both children to get their first doses in early March. She hadn't told them where they were going, and when they arrived at the pharmacy, she said, they felt ambushed and angry with her. She shrugged it off. Sometimes, she figured, this is just a mom's job.
After the shots, which were painless and quick, her kids stuffed their pockets full of Dum Dums, and Heather took them to Chipotle. It may not have been exactly the celebratory moment she'd imagined, but as she watched them eagerly dig into their quesadillas, she felt that, for the first time in two years, she could finally exhale."
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