Posted on May 12, 2023
To keep the Deschutes River clean, ‘Two-ply’ goes on ‘Poo Patrol’
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Jerry Christensen has a job that truly stinks.
In the canyon of the Deschutes River, where the dusty bluffs are dotted with sagebrush, Christensen is scrubbing the plastic toilet seat of an outhouse.
You can probably picture the outhouse: a classic pit-privy made of sun-bleached plywood.
On the door is a faded logo of the Bureau of Land Management, the federal agency that has contracted Christensen to make the weekly rounds he calls the “Poo Patrol.”
Each week, he loads his handmade mahogany drift boat with buckets, bleach, and dozens of rolls of toilet paper. He slips his boat into the river’s current at the town of Warm Springs, and winds his way north through the twisting course of nearly 50 miles to the take-out point near Maupin. The 13 outhouses he cleans along this stretch of the lower Deschutes River aren’t like any other outhouses in Oregon — they are accessible only by boat.
“Any other river it’s pack it in, pack it out,” Christensen said. “It’s the only river in the state that regularly maintains bathrooms along the way.”
In the canyon of the Deschutes River, where the dusty bluffs are dotted with sagebrush, Christensen is scrubbing the plastic toilet seat of an outhouse.
You can probably picture the outhouse: a classic pit-privy made of sun-bleached plywood.
On the door is a faded logo of the Bureau of Land Management, the federal agency that has contracted Christensen to make the weekly rounds he calls the “Poo Patrol.”
Each week, he loads his handmade mahogany drift boat with buckets, bleach, and dozens of rolls of toilet paper. He slips his boat into the river’s current at the town of Warm Springs, and winds his way north through the twisting course of nearly 50 miles to the take-out point near Maupin. The 13 outhouses he cleans along this stretch of the lower Deschutes River aren’t like any other outhouses in Oregon — they are accessible only by boat.
“Any other river it’s pack it in, pack it out,” Christensen said. “It’s the only river in the state that regularly maintains bathrooms along the way.”
To keep the Deschutes River clean, ‘Two-ply’ goes on ‘Poo Patrol’
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PO1 William "Chip" Nagel
..."The origins of ‘Two-ply’
To earn the contract to clean the outhouses of the Deschutes, you have to be a skilled boater. Christensen is certainly that. He deftly maneuvers the oars of his wooden drift boat. He’s not only been rowing this classic boat down the Deschutes for more than a decade — he also built it with his own hands.
Seasoned river runners know that wooden boats require extra precision in weaving through rocky rapids. Where inflatable rafts may bounce off rocks, wooden boats break, and can even shatter and sink.
One of the notorious rapids of the Deschutes is known as White Horse.
“When we roll into the upper part of White Horse, there’s always a couple of really deep breaths because it’s tight in there and that’s where people have problems. And if they have a problem, that’s not a place to swim,” Christensen said.
One year while on a personal fishing trip, Christensen spotted an upturned boat, stranded in the middle of the churning rapid. On the side of the boat was a sign that read: “BLM Contract.”
“And that’s when I decided that I could give [the BLM] a call because I have a feeling that contract might be open,” he said. “Sure enough, it was!”
With his new appointment, Christensen made a choice. When it came to the selection of toilet paper, the contract only specified a certain percentage of recycled material. As a long time user of the riverside outhouses, he was personally familiar with the standard single-ply rolls stocked in public restrooms across public lands. So instead of purchasing the nearly transparent single-ply he’d had to use far too often on his outdoor adventures, Christensen decided to cut into his own profit margin and splurged on quality two-ply.
Within the first couple months of his contract, he pulled into a campsite where a guided river group had camped for the night. When the rower of the gear boat spotted Christensen, he stood up and yelled: “Two-ply!”...
..."The origins of ‘Two-ply’
To earn the contract to clean the outhouses of the Deschutes, you have to be a skilled boater. Christensen is certainly that. He deftly maneuvers the oars of his wooden drift boat. He’s not only been rowing this classic boat down the Deschutes for more than a decade — he also built it with his own hands.
Seasoned river runners know that wooden boats require extra precision in weaving through rocky rapids. Where inflatable rafts may bounce off rocks, wooden boats break, and can even shatter and sink.
One of the notorious rapids of the Deschutes is known as White Horse.
“When we roll into the upper part of White Horse, there’s always a couple of really deep breaths because it’s tight in there and that’s where people have problems. And if they have a problem, that’s not a place to swim,” Christensen said.
One year while on a personal fishing trip, Christensen spotted an upturned boat, stranded in the middle of the churning rapid. On the side of the boat was a sign that read: “BLM Contract.”
“And that’s when I decided that I could give [the BLM] a call because I have a feeling that contract might be open,” he said. “Sure enough, it was!”
With his new appointment, Christensen made a choice. When it came to the selection of toilet paper, the contract only specified a certain percentage of recycled material. As a long time user of the riverside outhouses, he was personally familiar with the standard single-ply rolls stocked in public restrooms across public lands. So instead of purchasing the nearly transparent single-ply he’d had to use far too often on his outdoor adventures, Christensen decided to cut into his own profit margin and splurged on quality two-ply.
Within the first couple months of his contract, he pulled into a campsite where a guided river group had camped for the night. When the rower of the gear boat spotted Christensen, he stood up and yelled: “Two-ply!”...
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