Danny Jacobs left St. Louis and escaped his father. He’s come back for the truth

Before he introduced her to his father, Danny Jacobs sat his fiancée down for a talk. She needed to be prepared for his father to ask her things — personal things. He would want to know her birth date and phone number. He would ask her about her high school friends. He would keep pushing.

And if she tries to push back? He warned her, “You will end up not only penniless but emotionally bankrupt.”

The conversation happened more than a decade in the past. The fiancée is now Danny Jacobs’ wife. His father, Richard Jacobs, died in 2015. But that talk has stayed with him. It is the opening scene of the new podcast “How to Destroy Everything.” Re-created by Danny Jacobs and actor Roxanne Ortega, the scene is part of his attempt to make sense of the wreckage Richard Jacobs left behind in St. Louis.

“I couldn't do this when he was alive,” Danny Jacobs told St. Louis on the Air. “I had to wait until he passed away, partly because of a fear that I would get sued, partly because of a fear of the chaos that he might create in my life.”

Before Danny Jacobs finally cut ties with his father, Richard Jacobs’ behavior had already led to the end of a lengthy legal career and marriage. For the son, investigating his father’s life in St. Louis isn’t just about answering long-simmering questions but about finding a way to move on.