Posted on Mar 30, 2016
Dear Career: How Can I Hide That I'm a Military Spouse?
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Dear Career,
I'll get straight to it: How can I hide the fact that I'm a military spouse from potential employers? I can't tell you how many times in the past I've been qualified for a job and got called in for an interview, only to be cut short when they realize I'm a military spouse.
Have you found a way to get around sharing the info?
Sincerely,
Hiding in Fort Hood
Dear Hiding,
The short answer is you may not be able to hide your military spouse status -- and in some cases you may not need to.
Although employers are not supposed to ask about marital status during an interview, many still ask, or they get around the restriction by asking the dreaded: "Soooo, what brought you to the area?"
Aside from these questions, savvy employers may be able to identify you as a military spouse if your resume and/or LinkedIn Profile contains locations (when everything starts with "Fort," that's a dead giveaway).
Before you decide how to approach the issue, I suggest a little research. Does the company advertise itself as military friendly? Does your interviewer have evidence of being a veteran or military supporter in their office? If so, I suggest you own up to your status, but do so with a positive attitude.
For example, "The military brought us to the area and we're looking forward to making Leavenworth home for as long as the military allows us to stay. I'd be equally as excited to spend that time working for your company. And who knows, perhaps we can work out an arrangement for me to work remotely if I must leave the area in the future."
If they don't advertise their military affinities, or if you're sure they won't find your spouse status a plus, you can take one of two approaches. You can still take the approach above (because they may peg you anyway), or you can do your best to work around the question and keep the focus on you.
Example: "Personal circumstances brought us here, but I'm excited to settle in and make the area home. I hope you'll let me find a home in your company as well!" Or "Personal circumstances brought us to the area and I am so excited to have found an opportunity that fits my skill set so well."
The reality is your family's military affiliation is likely to come to light at some point. Do you really want to work for an employer where you feel as though you need to hide?
Best of Luck,
Career
I'll get straight to it: How can I hide the fact that I'm a military spouse from potential employers? I can't tell you how many times in the past I've been qualified for a job and got called in for an interview, only to be cut short when they realize I'm a military spouse.
Have you found a way to get around sharing the info?
Sincerely,
Hiding in Fort Hood
Dear Hiding,
The short answer is you may not be able to hide your military spouse status -- and in some cases you may not need to.
Although employers are not supposed to ask about marital status during an interview, many still ask, or they get around the restriction by asking the dreaded: "Soooo, what brought you to the area?"
Aside from these questions, savvy employers may be able to identify you as a military spouse if your resume and/or LinkedIn Profile contains locations (when everything starts with "Fort," that's a dead giveaway).
Before you decide how to approach the issue, I suggest a little research. Does the company advertise itself as military friendly? Does your interviewer have evidence of being a veteran or military supporter in their office? If so, I suggest you own up to your status, but do so with a positive attitude.
For example, "The military brought us to the area and we're looking forward to making Leavenworth home for as long as the military allows us to stay. I'd be equally as excited to spend that time working for your company. And who knows, perhaps we can work out an arrangement for me to work remotely if I must leave the area in the future."
If they don't advertise their military affinities, or if you're sure they won't find your spouse status a plus, you can take one of two approaches. You can still take the approach above (because they may peg you anyway), or you can do your best to work around the question and keep the focus on you.
Example: "Personal circumstances brought us here, but I'm excited to settle in and make the area home. I hope you'll let me find a home in your company as well!" Or "Personal circumstances brought us to the area and I am so excited to have found an opportunity that fits my skill set so well."
The reality is your family's military affiliation is likely to come to light at some point. Do you really want to work for an employer where you feel as though you need to hide?
Best of Luck,
Career
Dear Career: How Can I Hide That I'm a Military Spouse?
Posted from military.com
Military Family
Job Loss
Employment
Posted >1 y ago
Responses: 5
3
3
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I went through this while my husband was in TBS. I literally ended up with a 6 month "vacation" that I didn't want post college graduation. Not even the school district would touch me as a sub at the time.
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CPT Aaron Kletzing
I'm sorry you went through that. It shouldn't be that way at all. Military spouses are so vital to the military.
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Tyra Lynne Wahl
You want a good laugh?
I ended up working at the Marine Shop in Q-town. Which was a total laugh because I wasn't allowed to actually do anything even though I knew how to do tailors pinning of a suit.
That place was a total T & A show for the new Officers. The Col. himself had to deem you pretty enough to work there and his daughter only allowed us to wear dresses or skirts and we had to wear pantyhose and heels.
I didn't last a week.
I ended up working at the Marine Shop in Q-town. Which was a total laugh because I wasn't allowed to actually do anything even though I knew how to do tailors pinning of a suit.
That place was a total T & A show for the new Officers. The Col. himself had to deem you pretty enough to work there and his daughter only allowed us to wear dresses or skirts and we had to wear pantyhose and heels.
I didn't last a week.
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It's a shame that someone needs to 'hide' that they are a military spouse. Smh. :-(
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PO2 Mark Saffell
I wondered if that was the reason. Figured it was. But when deployed doesn't the spouse usually stay at the base he or she was deployed from?
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LTC (Join to see)
PO2 Mark Saffell - I'm assuming most spouses do stay within vicinity of their spouse's duty station during the SM's deployment. However, depending on the SM's rank and/or position they are filling - some military families are only at a specific duty station for only 18-24 months. I'm not married, but in my case, I'm serving in a 12 month position before transitioning back to Fort Bragg this July - so for a spouse of a SM, I could see why they would want to dance around the fact they are married to a SM...much less tell the truth about their length of stay (if they know exactly how long) in the area.
All in all, just more reasons why I respect the military spouse - they put up with a lot of crap, in order for their SM spouse to serve out their career.
All in all, just more reasons why I respect the military spouse - they put up with a lot of crap, in order for their SM spouse to serve out their career.
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Maj John Bell
LTC (Join to see) - I am not sure of the legality issue and when I ran a business in the DC area I never had to face the dilemma. My wife put up with military transfers and "starting over" again and again while I was in. So, I am sympathetic. But I also ran a business.
As a business owner, I wanted stability within my labor force, particularly in key positions military spouse or not. Longevity of employment by the fewest number of employers was a good indicator of whether they bring stability to my workforce. And that is not wrong on a business owners part.
Within the limits of the law, business owners, first priority must be profitability.
As a business owner, I wanted stability within my labor force, particularly in key positions military spouse or not. Longevity of employment by the fewest number of employers was a good indicator of whether they bring stability to my workforce. And that is not wrong on a business owners part.
Within the limits of the law, business owners, first priority must be profitability.
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LTC (Join to see)
Maj John Bell - I totally understand the issue from the business side as well. It's a tough spot to be in...from either perspective.
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