Green Day - Give Me Novacaine Music Video [HD]

I think it reasonable to think I was crying to god almost 1 year in the streets 10 years ago right after my mom passed. She would never understand or get to understand just what happened and the details of my navy service. It certainly affected.

I think I always have to have or find a solution or something to be learned. So the thing I have thought is why did not any leadership hundreds of guys older then me far more advanced then me ever ask me how I was doing and really checked and looked at my vitals to see if something was amiss and the training or missions or whatever were altering and I needed relief.


I was thinking of my mom my sweet mom my loving mom the one I sort of joined the Navy to make proud. A reserve enlistment they called it. Go to college and be in the Navy at the same time. A 8 year obligation they said. That was 26 before you knew what it was like to know what it felt like to have dreams gone. A real possibility of being an getting a degree by 22 and commission as an officer. Bootcamp Success Meritorious Wow this is cool. Now you get to go to college and look and feel invisible you are strong young and ready and wanting to show what America is all about. So you are also assigned to a ship part time. You have no idea what this is, how your going to make this work, or how the Navy beyond bootcamp really runs. You follow orders You are soon in the middle of the ocean with some angry overworked Active Duty Deck Crew Officers Petty Officers Chiefs and Seaman landing helos shooting weapons getting sea sick and you have to get in and fit in and then be sent home like what just happened??? You can not longer use the I am in bootcamp excuse. You are now a fully trained Navy Bootcamp Graduate. Heck why not assign me a Navy Seal Unit. I guess there are no standards of how fast or how someone should learn anything. I suppose you can just give some all the manuals for any job like NFL Linebacker and say go learn these 100 plays and come back and show us in real like game. A huge amount of manuals you can say far beyond compete with college studies. But you have no ship or ship crew or leadership to actually work with and guide you and do all the things as a team unit. You just lose your lunch and tear you mind up reading manuals like you can read them and decipher them and learn how and what to do in all the operations of a ship. How did I survive those 5 years from back and forth on the ship like this? I have no idea. I don't know if I did. I mean I sort of felt like I got left behind and this 5 years I fell out of college unable to concentrate and actually tried to join the Army all together and was medically disqualiried.

I guess why I thought of my mom is before I could put all this together found out that someone has someone else thinking that they should create a test to underman some ships and replace active duty billets with a reserve and that the IG of the Navy created reports the same year I joined that these ships were systemically weak in training and administration it would all make sense and I no longer had to blame myself.

But she would see her first born start sleeping in cars and drift into a darkness no one could actually understand.

As I breathe I now thought of my mom.