Leonardo's To-Do List

My wife and I have the same "problem" with my youngest son's teachers.

At the time my son was a student, the schools administered comprehensive testing for learning issues and psychiatric issues. So, I was not adjusting to civilian life at all but I had to function with civilians because I had a public school aged child. I was mean and difficult because of my adjustments problems. There was an assistant principal who guided me how to help my son and protect his best interests. I agreed to a detailed psychological testing. It showed my son to be learning disabled in language receptiveness, academically gifted, and ADHD. Well by him being academically gifted he could not be labeled handicapped. Thereby, he was given educational accommodations that addressed each area identified. It was added burden on the classroom teacher but his chance for a standard education was protected and he could not be put in special education classes. The next year he was given an IQ test. He tested in the genius category. In college he was in a master's level bachelor's program for molecular biology (premed science). His professors told me he was genuis at science but that he was lazy and hanging with a bad crowd. He entered college as a STEM scholar. He lost his scholarships and graduated by the skin of his teeth after 7 years. One of those semesters he made straight "F"s and still had passing department and University GPAs. I tell you this to say, find an alley in the school system to help guide you how to see your youngest through his challenges but protecting his opportunity to have options after high school. If you have not taken advantage of all available testing, consider it. Be very present and proactive with everyone, especially those who are able to put additional resources in place to help him. Google United States Department of Education and read about disabilities, special accomodatons, topics in that area, and any information under civil rights. The goal is to acquire an Individual Education Plan (IEP) that will help with structuring your son's learning so he will be better able to concentrate supported by at home follow up. Talk to the school counselor to get started. NOTE: my son is now 29 years old, so what is offered may be different. Best Success :)

PO3 Phyllis Maynard - My wife worked in Special Education in elementary/middle schools for 27 years (just retired) and I was Director of Special Education Services in a public school system for a couple of years. There have been a lot of changes, most for the better if one has needs for those services. And I agree - being the squeaky wheel if someone feels they are not being heard is a great option as long as it doesn't become adversarial. Being argumentative and contrary with every professional consultants/service provider is counter-productive and ultimately injurious to the child.

Oh yeah, absolutely, having a collaborative relationship with everyone in the child's life is key. That is why this assistant principal took me under her wing and buffered my attitude. I was correct in my assessments concerning my son, I was well read on the area of learning disabilities, from therapy at the Vet Center for myself and my son I learned that my dysfunctional and maladjustment to being a civilian was greatly impacting my son and so many other things. The assistant principal understood and vouched for my intentions until I could get in a healthier place with my own treatment. So as veteran and military parents we have to consider that we may be an element contributing to their problems in some way. My son was 10 years old before the correct diagnosis was assessed to me. And it was because of a handwritten statement he wrote. Once he believed he wouldn't be punished for telling the truth and there was pizza to be had. When he let loose I just knew child protective services were on the way to my house. But, in my case it ushered in the assistance the both of us needed. So having an understanding ear to help the parent stay in a calm rational place is another key.