More from: "Out of the Mouth of Seniors:"
This time, my own mouth. And partially from my childhood. If you are over seventy, I would like you to take a moment and got back in Time. To when your Father was a younger Dad, and you were a kid. And your Uncles could still play Softball with you, or a game of catch.
And I want you to remember how they talked. First, you will remember they didn't talk like us. Not much small talk at all. And opinions, they had them, but they didn't voice them. And they tended to believe in experience, knowledge and education.
My Dad didn't offer many opinions on things he didn't do regularly. If he didn't know about something, he kept his mouth shut. And if you had a different opinion, politically, religiously, or ideologically....his most common response was not to argue with you, but to say: "That's interesting."
I never remember, not a single incident, of my Dad, Mom, or any Adult Relative breaking up families, or having fights over Politics. Not do I remember any of them calling someone else names, or questioning their intelligence because of their Political party.
My Dad might have said some "thing" was Stupid. But never a person. It might be a stupid law, or a stupid solution...but people...he might call their action stupid, like leaving a fire unattended...but not the person. So maybe that is why I think the way I do now. So thanks for that Dad! I love you.
What I wanted to share tho, is an experiment I told my kids to try way back in High School...and I taught it to my Grandkids too. And here it is:
"For just one day, take the word "but" out of your conversations, writings, or statements. Try it. It is much more difficult than you think.
Because what you will discover, is that little tiny "but" shows what you really think. For example. Look at this sentence:
"You are so pretty, but...you could stand to lose a few pounds."
The real message is AFTER the "but".
And it completely destroys what came before it.
"I am proud of you son. But you could have done better."
Ouch.
"I love you, Honey, but you talk too much."
When you get rid of the but...you are much more likely to say what you mean.
But I know what you are thinking. LOL
What a difference putting it at the beginning of a sentence does...but it is still operating the same way, after the "but" is what I really believe.
No ifs, and's, or but's.