Posted on Dec 10, 2015
3
3
0
It never fails to interest me to see the different type of relationships children have with their parents. And this has sort of started to hit me more and more lately as my dad gets closer and closer to retiring in just a few weeks.
My dad has been a minister in the United Methodist Church since 1974. And after 42 years of service to several communities and thousands of church members, he has finally made the call to retire. I know it was not an easy decision but I know he and my mom are happy with his decision and now the family is getting all geared up for this huge milestone in my dad's life.
Last night, I reflected on the relationship I have with my parents as I started to draft my remarks that I'll deliver during my dad's retirement ceremony. Growing up as a PK (Preacher's Kid) was not easy. Sure, I did not have it as bad as some other people but this lifestyle still came with it's own challenges and difficulties. We may not have been the richest family, I may not have always had the name brand clothes and newest video game systems but my parents did give me every chance to be successful and to form my own personality. And do this day, my parents remain one of my largest supporters of everything I do for Veterans here in Pittsburgh and nationally.
But I sometimes look around and think is my relationship with my parents normal? I mean, it's normal for us. What I mean by this is that my parents are not my best friends, they are my parents. They are my father and mother who love me unconditionally but at the same time I do not nor do I want them to treat me like a best friend. I rely on them to be honest and blunt with me. I expect them to tell me if an idea I have is good or bad. I expect them to be mad if do something really dumb but happy when I succeed. I look around some of the other families I interact with when I have my two kids and this idea of child/parent relationship seems gone. I see parents trying to be their child's best friend on one extreme or their child's prison guard on the other end. Granted, I interact with and learn a lot from some amazing people being amazing parents in a very challenging world but it never fails that when you see one of these type of parents, 3 or 4 on the extremes enter.
So my question is, what sort of relationship do you have with your parents? There is no "right way" to parent. You need to do what is best for you. Sometimes, the best friend approach is what is best and therefore no judgement can be made even if it sounds like I'm being a little judgmental. Rather, I am just trying to gain some insight that will hopefully allow me to continue developing the relationship I have with my 10 year old son and 9 year old daughter.
My dad has been a minister in the United Methodist Church since 1974. And after 42 years of service to several communities and thousands of church members, he has finally made the call to retire. I know it was not an easy decision but I know he and my mom are happy with his decision and now the family is getting all geared up for this huge milestone in my dad's life.
Last night, I reflected on the relationship I have with my parents as I started to draft my remarks that I'll deliver during my dad's retirement ceremony. Growing up as a PK (Preacher's Kid) was not easy. Sure, I did not have it as bad as some other people but this lifestyle still came with it's own challenges and difficulties. We may not have been the richest family, I may not have always had the name brand clothes and newest video game systems but my parents did give me every chance to be successful and to form my own personality. And do this day, my parents remain one of my largest supporters of everything I do for Veterans here in Pittsburgh and nationally.
But I sometimes look around and think is my relationship with my parents normal? I mean, it's normal for us. What I mean by this is that my parents are not my best friends, they are my parents. They are my father and mother who love me unconditionally but at the same time I do not nor do I want them to treat me like a best friend. I rely on them to be honest and blunt with me. I expect them to tell me if an idea I have is good or bad. I expect them to be mad if do something really dumb but happy when I succeed. I look around some of the other families I interact with when I have my two kids and this idea of child/parent relationship seems gone. I see parents trying to be their child's best friend on one extreme or their child's prison guard on the other end. Granted, I interact with and learn a lot from some amazing people being amazing parents in a very challenging world but it never fails that when you see one of these type of parents, 3 or 4 on the extremes enter.
So my question is, what sort of relationship do you have with your parents? There is no "right way" to parent. You need to do what is best for you. Sometimes, the best friend approach is what is best and therefore no judgement can be made even if it sounds like I'm being a little judgmental. Rather, I am just trying to gain some insight that will hopefully allow me to continue developing the relationship I have with my 10 year old son and 9 year old daughter.
Posted in these groups: 
Family
Military Family
Family Military Family
Posted >1 y ago
Responses: 8
1
1
0
My tale is sad. I was abandoned at the age of two. I was adopted by a very loving family. However when my father died, my mother disowned me. I was abandoned by two mothers. :(
(1)
(0)
1
1
0
1
1
0
My dad and I had a strained relationship when I was younger. I left the house at 17 to join the Navy because I thought I knew it all. After I got out I wanted to come home and work for the family construction company. My dad looked me in the eye and said, "You have the opportunity to go to school and become somebody. I am not going to hire you." I thought he was the biggest jerk I had ever met. I went on to college and became a police officer, before going into the Guard and on to bigger and better things. My dad made me make some some hard decisions that I did not like. If he had not been hard I would have settled for a mediocre life in small town Ohio. I have been a Sailor, Soldier, Police Officer, Fireman, EMT, City Counsel Member, a Mercenary, a contractor, a Salesman, and now I manage over 200 people in corporate America. None of those things would have been possible if my father have not been looking out for me. I love my father more every day. When I have a hard decision to make I still pick up the phone and call him.
(1)
(0)
Read This Next
Continue with Facebook 
Continue with Google