Why do veterans and active duty members still stereotype by rank after someone has retired or left the service?

I hated the "Mrs. (fill in the blank with rank)".
I'll add here, I'm old, so most spouses of high ranking officers were women.
My favorite story ...
I was TDY, working for the post newspaper. One day I, an E4 at the time, was covering an officer's wives tea to "welcome" new wives to the brigade. I was sitting next to this very young, very pregnant, 2nd LT's wife. She was from Puerto Rico, her English wasn't great. I grew up in south Florida, learned some Spanish and was talking with her ... sort of

Sorry honey, your husband might wear the rank but you don't.

I have seen that situation before. during mid-day lunch--active duty in uniform have front of line priveledges---very happy to give way to the uniforms.

A Superiority complex maybe? There's a stark contrast between Civilian life and Military life. I spent the overwhelming amount of my service time in Germany. Personally, I never experienced this myself. Although I HAD heard about things such as this happening. I've heard from others that rank has it's privileges, but wow. Something like this either brings out the worst in people, or it can bring out the BEST in people, based on ones character.

Lol l love it ma'am.

Something I learned when watching the movie about LT General Hal Moore (We were soldiers) I think applies here. Real leaders inspire leadership in all around them. Maybe you can look at these wives as a vehicle to tell if their husbands are real leaders! There is a huge difference between managing and actually leading.
Are they leading because their husband inspires leadership or are they trying to manage others via their husbands rank? I think it could also be the opposite also where the wife encourages the husband to be a better leader. All this could apply also where the wife is the O-rank.

Is a business context, calling a PhD "Doctor" is often appropriate. It communicates technical capability and status. However, I leave it to other people to call me Dr. I don't introduce myself that way.

I totally agree with the insecurity aspect. I disagree with the doctor part. I think every person that goes through that amount of schooling should respectfully be called Dr. I believe that the major's wife in the story had very little in her life to be happy about, also if her husband is the same way he will probably never get above Major. Great leaders rarely put themselves first, because every great leader leads by example. As an example i will step outside the military (because there are many great examples in the Military). I work for UPS and when a driver achieves 25 years of safe driving they receive a sign and a very close parking spot. One driver had them put his sign as far away from the building as possible because he refused to take any advantage for doing his job.
Another example is the best division manager I have ever known. He would park in the furthest corner of the employee parking lot that is approximately a half mile away even when it was snowing and windy. I asked him one day why he would do that? He said Brian, if I park next to the building and go straight to my office, I will never know what is wrong in my operations, the drivers know and if I can walk in with some for 15 minutes I can make my operations better" He went on to say that his management teams arrive to early and have too much to do in the a.m. to get a true sense.

Most officers are petty (just joking)

SFC Charlie Broadus II - ...
And You Said So Because They're "PETTY OFFICERS".
And So Are a Few Others.
But Their Smart-ass WIVES Are Worse Than ANY Officer COULD Or WOULD Be.
I Too Have Seen Them In Action, But Wonder I Their Husbands Have Ever SEEN Them Do It, And What Was Done ABOUT It.

Chip--you earned it--best of luck. Alan (CTR)

Best dad joke I have heard today!