Posted on Jan 5, 2015
Spouses and Military Customs and Courtesies (This subject is getting really old)
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I have seen this subject on RALLYPOINT several times now and would love to set the record straight. Spouses of service members DO NOT have the rank of their spousal service members. There is no requirement to salute them or render any military salutation. That being said, the terms Mam or Sir can be rendered to Senior Officer and Non- Commissioned Officers spouses as a sign of respect for their age, spouse’s grade or position. Spouses who use their Services Members Rank to gain privileges or try to want military recognition soul be required to go to a Customs and Courtesy Class and be accompanied by their service member on a Saturday Morning. This subject angers me as much as those questions like does a PVT (E-1 or 2)stand at parade rest when talking to a SPC (E-4) or do you salute an officer’s spouse or does a Second Lieutenant salute and First Lieutenant. Have Customs and Courtesies become a forgotten course in Officer Basic Courses and Basic Training?
Posted in these groups: 
Customs and Courtesies
Leadership
Customs and Courtesies Leadership
Posted >1 y ago
Responses: 11
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I think that MPs understand this more than anybody else. As a shift supervisor the majority of the complaints came from spouses. Things like, "The MP was rude" and "He did not respect my husbands rank." (Yes it was always from wives.) I had to investigate each of these and it was for the most part somebody trying to pull their spouses rank on my patrol guys. For the most part my guys did a good job of staying professional. I actually had a Captain's wife try to put one of my MPs at parade rest. That one ended with the Captain on the Provost Marshal's carpet and him telling him that he better get his wife in check or she would not longer be welcome on post.
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My wife will explicitly tell someone "Don't call me Mrs Chief, I'm Mrs. Walker. My husband is in the service, I am not."
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LTC Scott O'Neil, Sir you know when you have a great one in your organization, it's when they are using their experience (not their service members influence) to take care of that young couple.
It is (and should always be) about taking care of our own. Our senior spouses have a lot of experience and have been through the struggles. Often times, our spouses are the sounding board to let us know the perspective that we would not have considered otherwise.
It is (and should always be) about taking care of our own. Our senior spouses have a lot of experience and have been through the struggles. Often times, our spouses are the sounding board to let us know the perspective that we would not have considered otherwise.
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CMSgt James Nolan
CSM Michael J. Uhlig CSM, I enjoy your comments. Spot on. The best use of acquired knowledge is to benefit those who need it most.
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LTC Scott O'Neil
Spot On CSM, Spot On, It is my opinion that younger soldiers spouse do not take advantage of using this resource to help them through rough spots and just to get a perspective, as in most cases they have gone through it in their experience being a military spouse.
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