Posted on Jul 2, 2019
Details below: following a negative interaction with two NCOs, should I drop it or pursue it further?
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So today we we're loading up a bus with people. Some of us were early. A sergeant said that we'll need to double up because it's going to be full (it was no where near). I told him I'll move when I need to. I wasn't trying to be insubordinate or disrespectful but I guess he took it that way. He said "no you move now. Who the f**k do you think you are?" So I moved. Then his SSG busy told me he needed my seat (all to himself) so I moved again. And all they did was talk trash on me for the day. So my question is am I wrong, or was he? If he was do I take it up with someone higher up the chain of command? Or do I ignore it? I have been told way worse things from people better than him. He's never liked me. and lots of people think he's a bit of a jerk To put it tactfully.
Toxic Leadership
Leadership
Leadership Development
Posted 5 y ago
Responses: 34
You both were wrong. In the beginning, you should have just moved when the Sergeant told you to. The "I'll move when I need to" comment was borderline insubordinate. As for the SSG telling you to move just so he could have the seat all to himself and then talk smack about you with the other NCO....that makes them wrong, as well.
As for taking this higher....As yourself one thing: Is this hill worth fighting for?
As for taking this higher....As yourself one thing: Is this hill worth fighting for?
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LTC George Morgan
Let the small things pass and the big things will be ignored with the same result. If your the senior giving this "kind of immature order". Good luck in getting them to respond in the field. Speak to your superior, tell him/her of the occurrence and have them deal with it. Basically it comes down to: Look after the cents and Dollars will look after themselves!
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Lt Col Timothy Cassidy-Curtis
LTC George Morgan - That sounds like a good answer. With that said, SGT(P) (Join to see) - might approach senior leadership with a kind of "Here's what went down...I understand my mistake, and I will work to make improvements. With that said, do you believe that what I experienced is conductive to improved moral and unity? Is their conduct a leadership lesson that I should learn?" If the honest answer is "Yes. I think that's okay" then be prepared to accept it.
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LTC George Morgan
SSgt Joseph Baptist - Absolutely. Add to this, that he's a Cpl., directed by a Sgt. To me this is pretty straight forward.
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If I had asked you to move and double up and you said "I'll move when I need to" in a group of Soldiers I'd have taken it as an inappropriate comment and given you heck too. Probably wouldn't have dropped an F bomb on you and wouldn't have talked crap about you, but you'd have gotten the message that your comment was out of line.
If you came to PSG, 1SG or CSM St.Cyr and told me the story as written I'd ask you what you expected for coming off as a smart butt. Then SSG Numb nuts and I'd have a chat you'd never know about in reference how to make on the spot corrections and appropriate escalation of force verses situation.
Next time just move and when the bus is loaded and seats are empty spread out. No comments required.
If you came to PSG, 1SG or CSM St.Cyr and told me the story as written I'd ask you what you expected for coming off as a smart butt. Then SSG Numb nuts and I'd have a chat you'd never know about in reference how to make on the spot corrections and appropriate escalation of force verses situation.
Next time just move and when the bus is loaded and seats are empty spread out. No comments required.
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CSM Richard StCyr
SGT(P) (Join to see) - Depends on the NCO, I didn't hold grudges so as long as you weren't a frequent flyer it was fire, fix, forget, move on to business no need to revisit it.
Apologies and discussions only work when someone is rational and professional enough to accept it. With the SSGs' behavior you described I'd just leave it be and drive on.
Apologies and discussions only work when someone is rational and professional enough to accept it. With the SSGs' behavior you described I'd just leave it be and drive on.
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SSG Brian G.
PFC Jeffrey Herrington - Honestly serves no good to apologize here. This was a fire and forget for him. You apologizing is only going to keep your face and name on his radar and by doing anything other than moving on smartly, is going to further fuel his dislike of you, only now he adds 'whiney lil suck up' to the list. IF however, later on, you are confronted about the situation, by said Sergeant then take that time to speak your case, respectfully and apologize t him.
Let the situation go. Use it as a learning tool and move out smartly.
Let the situation go. Use it as a learning tool and move out smartly.
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SSG Brian G.
PFC Jeffrey Herrington - That kind of thing works sometimes, when the person is NOT on the persons personal crap radar already. By all accounts, this E-4 (P) is on this Sergeants special shit list, as well has his E-6 buddies, by his account. That means that there has been enough negative interaction that there is nothing this young specialist can do about it. Apologizing is only going to make things worse. Best to just keep his head down, do his job and avoid this guy and hope PCS time comes around soon.
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Pick your battles SPC. Live to fight another day. Sometimes you're the dog and sometimes you're the hydrant.
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SP5 David Tomlinson
No No No, Spc you are always the hydrant, until you can pass your PT test and make Sgt. Then you can make somebody else the hydrant and you get to be the dog unless there is a bigger dog on the bus, And when you look around and you out rank everybody, then you are
Top Dog, so for now, just accept the piss and run with it.
Top Dog, so for now, just accept the piss and run with it.
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SPC (Join to see)
This is a different Army than I was in. We were taught to respect not challenge. Leave the civilian side at home where it belongs.
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SFC Michael D.
I remember when I was in, I'd see a bunch of privates hanging out and BSing when they had a task to complete. I would tell them, "Get tacticle, if an ass chewing grenade goes off it will hit all of you". They'd get a kick out of it.
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